


the art of fake-dating your enemy

by kimwoojin



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Hate to Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, So much denial, how many other relationships can you spot, more dislike to love, some biphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-21 08:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 80,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14280981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimwoojin/pseuds/kimwoojin
Summary: “Let me get this straight. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend in front of your whole freaking family, all three hundred relatives, for a whole week just because you’re too scared to tell your mother the truth… And you want to pay me for that?” the boy asked for clarity.It sounded really stupid when he worded it like that but that’s basically what Jinyoung wanted.(or, jinyoung's sister talks too much, jinyoung and yugyeom are apparently dating even though yugyeom was the last one to know, and mark is too young to have to be a dad with six children)





	1. “how to thoroughly humiliate yourself” (ft. Park Jinyoung)

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is my first fic with got7 and i'm really excited to post it because fake relationships are my fave trope. i hope you guys will like it!
> 
> english is not my first language so if you see any mistakes, please point them out to me, i'm trying my best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let me get this straight. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend in front of your whole freaking family, all three hundred relatives, for a whole week just because you’re too scared to tell your mother the truth… And you want to pay me for that?” the boy asked for clarity.
> 
> It sounded really stupid when he worded it like that but that’s basically what Jinyoung wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all family members that make appearance in this fic are made up by me

**o n e**

**“how to thoroughly humiliate yourself”  
(ft. Park Jinyoung)**

**− i −**

Park Jinyoung had a list of established facts about Kim Yugyeom.

He started to complete it when he was eight and Yugyeom’s family moved in right next to Jinyoung’s. The facts he collected as a kid were that Yugyeom could run faster than any bully in their neighborhood, he once licked the door handle when it was freezing because Jinyoung told him not to do it and Yugyeom said _“you’re not the boss of me”_ (Yugyeom was ten) so then his tongue stuck to the metal, Jinyoung’s dog liked Yugyeom more and Jinyoung didn’t like Kim Yugyeom at all. On his good days Jinyoung was convinced that Yugyeom is just the devil incarnate.

Jinyoung remembered the first time they’ve met. He was playing on the porch when a car and a big moving truck parked in front of the house next to his own. He curiously ran up to the fence and climbed to the box that stood there so he could see something. Doors to the car opened and a girl with two ponytails and a ballerina dress ran towards the entrance, squealing so loud that it made Jinyoung frown – it made him think of his own little sister even though the girl next door was definitely older than Jinsook, probably even older than Jinyoung himself. But then a small boy hopped out of the car and curiously looked around, his face lighting up when he noticed something on the grass and moved his short legs to pick it up. First Jinyoung noticed the tiara on his head, it probably belonged to his sister because it was a little too big but the boy didn’t seem to mind, then Jinyoung noticed what the boy picked up.

“Hey, that’s mine!” he said loudly, looking at the monster truck in the stranger’s hands. The boy jumped a step back at the sudden voice and his wide eyes met Jinyoung’s over the fence. “It’s my toy, give it back.”

Jinyoung’s mama always told him to share with other kids but that was his favorite car and he didn’t even know the kid. Besides, his mama was inside the house, it’s not like she could see.

“It was in front of my house. If it’s yours, why is it here?” the boy asked, clutching the toy closer to his chest.

“Maybe I left it there when I was playing with it. You can’t have it, go play with your own toys.” Jinyoung extended his hand for the kid to give him his car but his new neighbor only took another step back, shaking his head. “Give it back or I’ll tell my mom!”

The little boy looked like he was ready to cry but instead of that, he just threw the monster truck at Jinyoung, hitting him square in the face and making him fall back from the box. And _then_ the kid started crying, alarming both his own and Jinyoung’s mom. Jinyoung, as the older one, got blamed for everything and it was all it took for him to hate that little liar.

This one incident determined the path of their relationship later in life; it’s been fourteen years since then and Yugyeom had done thousands of things to make Jinyoung’s life miserable, not like Jinyoung was any different. He just liked to think he was always the provoked one (he was still pretty sure that Yugyeom enrolled at the same university simply out of spite).

Jinyoung never really believed in karma.

There was something a little too perfect in this concept – every good thing pays off eventually and every bad thing comes back sooner or later; it sounded great in theory. But if that were true, people would just need to do good things all the time and get rewards for that in the end to avoid all bad things. Where’s the empathy? Being a good person only because you wanted something out of it didn’t sound too good in itself. So, this whole karma-thing was bullshit, at least in Jinyoung’s humble opinion.

Or maybe it was just that he was an absolutely awful person himself and the possibility of every mean thing he had ever done biting him in the ass later in life was just too terrifying.

He should have known that he’ll have to pay for each kid he pushed on the playground just because he was taller than them, for each cookie he had stolen from his younger siblings, for each bad mark in school he’d hidden from his parents, for each time he laughed at BamBam’s clothing preference (alright, but it _was_ very extravagant so it’s not like Jinyoung was entirely to blame for that one). And, honestly, the form of his punishment wasn’t all that surprising either.

Jinyoung had known since he was eight years old that Kim Yugyeom will be the death of him. He would love to say that the situation he was currently in was entirely Yugyeom’s fault, too. It would make him feel much better, honestly. But, unfortunately, it was a joint effort of Yugyeom, Jinyoung, their friends, an unhealthy amount of alcohol, and a very noisy younger sister with stalking obsession and mouth bigger than Asia.

Those things combined made Jinyoung start to believe that maybe people who talked about karma were actually onto something.

And it all started with a party.

**− ii −**

Jinyoung knew he’s drunk when Jackson’s words actually started to make sense to him. It was always a bad sign because the only person who could spit out more bullshit than Jackson Wang was Jackson Wang after six shots of vodka and two tequila drinks.

“No, but listen to me,” Jackson insisted, leaning on Jinyoung’s arm. Jinyoung was vaguely aware that this movement pushed him a little further towards Yugyeom who was sitting on the couch next to him and animatedly talking to Youngjae, almost hitting Jinyoung in the process. “It was scientifically proven that when two people hate each other for as long as you and Yugyeomie have, it’s all sexual tension.”

Jinyoung was impressed that Jackson was still able to pronounce such big words until his friend’s conclusions actually got to him. “This is the worst bullshit I’ve ever heard. What about your mother and that post guy who always delivers Weng’s mails to her out of spite? That’s sexual tension, too?” he asked incredulously.

“Never talk about my mother and sexual tension again,” Jackson made a disgusted face, pushing Jinyoung even more towards Yugyeom. Yugyeom didn’t seem to notice it, too busy with another drink and a pointless argument over… Gucci’s new clothing line, apparently. “Though I’m still not one hundred percent sure the post guy isn’t actually my father. See?! My point stands! Maybe you just need to dick Yugyeom down to know.”

“’Scuse me?” Yugyeom leaned a little forward so he would be able to look at Jackson. Suddenly all eyes were on him as other conversations died down, the only sound being the loud music blaring over their heads and occasional squeals from some girls on the dance floor.

“You did not just say what I think you said,” Mark decided, frowning at his drunk friends. He was their designated driver for the night so he was probably the only sober person from the group. He knew he should have taken the tequila away from Jackson.

Jackson finished his drink and nodded, as if he just came up with the smartest idea ever. “I can bet all the money I don’t have that Jinyoung and Yugyeom are actually hot for each other and all the fights are just their foreplay.”

Yugyeom almost lost a grip on his drink, catching it in the last minute. “I think I’m going to be sick,” he muttered, blinking heavily. For once Jinyoung could relate to him.

“You can have my money, too,” BamBam piped in, raising his hand high. “But I can also give all my money on the fact that Jinyoung would never kiss Yugyeom because he’s a coward.”

Jinyoung snorted with annoyance. “Not wanting to catch a disease isn’t cowardice, it’s being smart,” he said proudly, trying to stop the room from spinning. Yugyeom punched him in the arm, apparently still sober enough to know when he was being insulted. Or maybe it was just because of Jinyoung’s voice since Jinyoung never did anything besides insulting him.

“Yeah, to be honest, I think if there would be anything to happen, Yugyeom would initiate it,” Jaebum decided, not even looking their way, too busy mixing tequila with vodka. Probably not the best combination, Jinyoung thought.

“Ew, ew, ew!” Yugyeom cried out, trying to move away from Jinyoung. It turned out to be impossible because Yugyeom was at the end of the couch that was already too packed.

Jinyoung frowned, thinking about all the things his friends said. He definitely wasn’t scared to kiss Yugyeom, it was just that he never wanted to and never would want to, his hatred wasn’t some disguised sexual tension; he actually wanted to throw a chair at Yugyeom’s face every time the kid opened his mouth. The fact that they were even hanging out together was purely because their friends for some reason decided to go and like them both at the same time. As annoying as it was, Jinyoung just kind of learnt how to ignore Yugyeom when they were all together.

“Jinyoung-ah is weak,” Jackson laughed, bumping Jinyoung’s shoulder. Jinyoung wanted to bump the tequila bottle against Jackson’s head. If there was one thing he hated, it was being told that he can’t do something for whatever reason; whether it was fear or lack of abilities, Jinyoung just needed to prove that no one will tell him what he can or can’t do. And Jackson damn well knew it.

So before Jinyoung could actually get scared (or before he could actually understand that it’s _Yugyeom_ , thank god for alcohol), he turned towards the younger boy who looked at him with bewilderment. Jinyoung caught the front of Yugyeom’s black shirt and pulled him closer to himself, stopping just inches away from Yugyeom’s face. Yugyeom blinked quickly and his expression changed slightly when it finally dawned on him that Jinyoung wanted to kiss him right then and there, in some stupid club with all their friends watching. Jinyoung was drunk, extremely drunk, but his mother’s voice still boomed in his head, screaming _consent consent consent_ on repeat. Jinyoung wouldn’t be like his older sister’s boyfriends, he wouldn’t take without permission. But then Yugyeom’s hands were on Jinyoung’s waist and they were both moving at the same time, meeting in the middle.

Jinyoung never thought that he would be able to associate kisses with fire, but that’s exactly what kissing Yugyeom felt like–it felt like being consumed by the flames, his lips burned and each part of Jinyoung’s body tingled with pleasure so great it danced on the border of pain. Yugyeom’s hands squeezed Jinyoung’s hips, the boy opened his mouth and Jinyoung could taste tequila on his tongue but it just made him want more. He wanted to touch more skin with his mouth, feel the pulse on Yugyeom’s neck under his lips, give Yugyeom…

Yugyeom, Yugyeom, _Yugyeom._

Jinyoung broke the kiss and moved back to see Yugyeom’s wide eyes looking back at him. His cheeks were flushed, plump lips parted as he took deep breaths. Jinyoung’s heart was beating so loudly that for a moment he couldn’t hear anything else and he realized that his jeans are uncomfortably tight.

He just forgot that it was Yugyeom, there was no other explanation.

“Holy shit, that was so hot,” Bambam muttered, earning a slap on the back of his head from Mark whose eyes were just as wide, staring at Jinyoung and Yugyeom.

Jinyoung cleared his throat and looked at Jackson who had the dumbest smile on his face. “I want my money,” he declared, reaching for another drink.

Tonight, he just wanted to drown in tequila.

**− iii −**

“Yugyeom-ssi, you absolute crackhead, will you just sit your ass down so I can talk? Dear _god_ ,” Jinyoung lamented, swerving in between the tables to catch up with Yugyeom. Honestly, fuck tall people and their long legs. Jinyoung was _this_ close to putting on roller skates.

Yugyeom passed yet another table, squeezing himself between two chairs. Jinyoung could have sworn this café wasn’t that big when he first stepped inside. Maybe Yugyeom was just running in circles to give Jinyoung a migraine. Not impossible.

“I see you don’t have your hipster glasses on so maybe you haven’t noticed,” Yugyeom started, leaning over an empty table to get all dirty glasses on his tray. “But I’m actually working right now. Or maybe it’s that the royalty doesn’t know how simple man earns for a living?” he suggested with irony dripping from his voice.

That made Jinyoung stop for a moment because, alright, maybe he was too caught up in his own drama to _really_ look at Yugyeom. But it was never pleasant for him before anyway. Right now he frowned and moved his gaze from the back of Yugyeom’s head towards his clothes; a t-shirt in a color of red wine, black jeans and an apron in the same color tied on his waist. When Yugyeom turned around, balancing the tray on his forearm, Jinyoung noticed the small cherry printed over Yugyeom’s heart with a black _Cherry Bomb Café_ written underneath it.

“You… work here?” Jinyoung asked dumbly, turning his head around. He’s never actually been here before, the café was out of their campus so it wasn’t really on his way. The place was nice, walls were dark red with cherries painted in a few places, there were flowers of Japanese cherry trees on black tables, one wall was replaced with a fake waterfall. The counter was black, too, next to it stood a display of cute pies. Jinyoung had no idea that Yugyeom worked at all, he never mentioned it.

Then again, why would he mention it to Jinyoung out of all people?

Yugyeom raised an eyebrow at that. “Wow, I see that our university has really high standards. Move, you’re in my way,” he added quickly, looking towards the door where a group of teenagers just walked in.

Jinyoung frowned at the new information, ignoring Yugyeom’s rudeness for now. Well, it’s not like Yugyeom having a job changed anything, Jinyoung was still in deep shit and whether he liked it or not, he needed Yugyeom’s help (the thought actually physically hurt Jinyoung).

“Fine. What time do you finish?” he asked, looking down at the watch on his hand. It was already six in the evening.

“Why are you still talking instead of moving?” Yugyeom was clearly getting annoyed now and an annoyed Yugyeom was even more bitchy, which should be impossible and yet.

“Because I really need to talk to you, you damn brat!”

Yugyeom looked at the teenagers again and then he sighed, impatiently tapping his foot. “I’m done at seven, just go away now.”

Jinyoung smiled triumphantly and stepped aside, letting Yugyeom through between the tables. He thought it’s not worth to go back to campus now seeing as it would get him twenty minutes to get there and then another twenty to come back to the café (he didn’t trust Yugyeom enough to think that the boy would actually look for him later to talk), so he just sat at one of the empty tables and decided to wait. An hour wasn’t that long.

He curiously watched as Yugyeom takes orders from the new clients and goes back over the counter to make their coffees. For the whole time the boy was sending Jinyoung nasty glares before he finally made his way to Jinyoung’s table, looking like it visibly pained him to do it.

“Are you going to order anything?” he asked in a tone that would fit better a death sentence announcement.

Jinyoung could make fun of him right now, he knew he could. He knew Yugyeom expected it, too. But if Jinyoung wanted Yugyeom’s help, he needed to at least try and act civil. It was already humiliating more than it should be.

“Just coffee. Black.”

“Like your soul, I’m assuming,” Yugyeom muttered, turning around without a second glance. Jinyoung squeezed his phone in both hands, imagining that it’s Yugyeom’s neck.

The café was closing at seven so Jinyoung walked out five minutes earlier and waited for Yugyeom on the sidewalk, looking up at the dark sky. It was surprisingly warm for the late hour. Yugyeom changed the board from _OPEN_ to _CLOSED_ and locked the doors after him, wiping his face with his hands before his gaze fell on Jinyoung. Yugyeom’s expression changed too quickly for Jinyoung to notice what was there before displeasure.

“So you _are_ still alive,” he sighed and started walking without waiting for Jinyoung. He honestly wasn’t making it any easier. “What’s the important thing? The devil who bought your soul said it’s too nasty for him? You’re dying? _Youngjae_ is dying?”

“Shut the hell up for a moment,” Jinyoung huffed, unlocking his phone. He opened up his Instagram, browsed for a few seconds and then put the screen right in front of Yugyeom’s face. The younger boy frowned and took the phone out of Jinyoung’s hand to actually see something.

“Alright…” he said slowly, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why are you showing me this after I’ve spent my last three therapy sessions on trying to cure the trauma?”

“You have therapy– You know what, doesn’t matter. The point is, this picture is posted on the internet. My sister basically lives on Instagram,” Jinyoung started, trying to keep up with Yugyeom which appeared to be really difficult because the boy seemed to be doing everything to just run away. “She saw this which means my whole family saw this.”

Yugyeom briefly looked towards Jinyoung before turning his gaze forward again. “I don’t understand why you’re talking to me like I care.”

“My whole family thinks we’re dating!” Jinyoung cried out. Okay, when he imagined this conversation he said this with more dignity, not like a whiny thirteen year old. But at least it made Yugyeom stop dead in his tracks. He looked personally offended at the thought that anyone would even think he could date Jinyoung. Jinyoung felt about the same.

“But this picture was blurry and it was dark,” Yugyeom pointed out with a frown. He was right; the picture looked as good as a drunk person could have taken it. It _was_ blurry, but it was also obvious that there are two boys on it. Two boys who are kissing.

Jinyoung couldn’t remember much from the night the picture was taken – an unhealthy amount of alcohol and lots of bad decisions would do that to you. Jinyoung was just too competitive for his own good and when someone (probably Jackson, it was always his fault) suggested that Jinyoung would never be able to kiss Yugyeom, Jinyoung simply did. Yugyeom could have at least stopped him, though. So what if he was probably even more drunk? He shouldn’t have kissed back! Jinyoung was kind of glad that he remembered almost nothing from the kiss.

“But we’re mentioned in the description and the comments.” Jinyoung didn’t even want to talk about the confusion he felt when his younger sister called him in the morning after the party; he had been hangover and her squeals didn’t help his headache in the slightest. She said something about knowing Jinyoung had a crush and that it took him long enough. His sister was fucking crazy, at least now Jinyoung had a confirmation. “My mother asked if I’m bringing you home for my sister’s wedding and I… well, you know how scary my mother is.”

Yugyeom sent him a doubtful stare. “Oh, yes. She’s making cupcakes when she’s happy. Truly terrifying,” he deadpanned, starting to walk again. “Wait. You did tell her we’re not actually dating, right?”

Jinyoung swallowed hard, turning his gaze away. “It’s complicated.”

“Bullshit is what it is! I always knew you’re actually in love with me but that’s not some Nicholas Sparks’ book–”

“Now wait a moment…”

“I don’t even want to know. Do whatever you want about your family, just leave me out of this.” Yugyeom quickly crossed the street and Jinyoung had to run to catch up with him again. This was going worse than he thought it will and he didn’t even get to the humiliating part yet.

“Come on, Yugyeom-ssi…”

“Holy shit, you’re still talking,” Yugyeom huffed with disbelief.

“And I’m still your hyung, in case you forgot. I have an offer for you. Just… Come on, I’ll buy you something to eat and then we’ll talk, okay?” Jinyoung tried one more time, catching Yugyeom’s sleeve to stop him from walking so fast. The boy snatched his arm out but he did stop, raising his eyes to the sky like he was praying for a lighting to struck him right now.

“Fine. You have twenty minutes, I have places to be.”

Twenty minutes had to be enough.

Turned out Jinyoung needed ten and it took that long only because he was waiting for their orders before starting the conversation, he knew that Yugyeom was always more compliant while eating his favorite food so he ordered him _bulgogi_. Then he started to explain what he wanted from Yugyeom who was looking at him with shock that grew as Jinyoung’s story proceeded. In the end Yugyeom choked a little on his food, shaking his head.

“You’re totally crazy if you think I’ll do it. I suffered enough from that one kiss. Honestly, I think I’m no longer fond of men,” Yugyeom said, scrunching up his nose in disgust. Jinyoung almost threw a fork at him.

“I will pay you,” Jinyoung blurted out, flinching immediately after his words. He obviously didn’t think Yugyeom would do anything for free but he also didn’t consider money as a payment, he was going to offer something more university-related, maybe writing essays for Yugyeom for the next few months. Or helping him with algebra, Jaebum said Yugyeom had some troubles with that.

Yugyeom raised an eyebrow at the statement. “Let me get this straight. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend in front of your whole freaking family, all three hundred relatives, for a whole week just because you’re too scared to tell your mother the truth… And you want to pay me for that?” the boy asked for clarity.

It sounded really stupid when he worded it like that but that’s basically what Jinyoung wanted. “First of all, I don’t have three hundred relatives. More like one hundred and fifty. But… Yeah, I guess. But it’s not only about my mother, Yugyeom-ssi. I told you it’s complicated,” he muttered. Jinyoung knew he’s just digging his grave deeper now but he had spent the last three nights on trying to come up with a solution for this mess and asking Yugyeom to pretend to be his boyfriend was the easiest, even though it meant not only putting up with Yugyeom for a whole week which could end in homicide, but also lying to his entire family. Something that wasn’t unfamiliar to Jinyoung, but he never lied about something this big. He couldn’t even lie about his sexuality for a long time, it was eating him alive. Jinyoung maybe wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around but he did love his family.

And that’s exactly why he needed this lie.

“Tell me the real reason and maybe I’ll consider helping you,” Yugyeom decided after a moment, his hazel eyes were narrowed and stuck at Jinyoung, making him uncomfortable. Yugyeom had that look on his face that always made people think they’re being judged even though Yugyeom mostly thought about some stupid song from elevator, probably. At least Jinyoung thought Yugyeom always seems to think about songs from elevators.

“Why do you want to know?” Jinyoung asked suspiciously. At this point he could only hope for the earth to open up and swallow him. He hoped BamBam will never know about this conversation, otherwise Jinyoung will die of embarrassment.

Yugyeom shrugged, leaning back on the chair with a smirk. “Blackmail, if it’s worth it. Curiosity, if it’s not.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his brown hair. “Fine, okay, cool. It’s about my grandmother– Don’t fucking laugh at me, you damn brat,” Jinyoung screeched, throwing a napkin at Yugyeom’s head. The boy only laughed louder, tilting his head back and wiping an imaginary tear. “Fuck you sideways. I’m not telling you shit.”

“Oh, come on. It was just getting good, tell me more about grandma Park,” Yugyeom wheezed, clearing his throat. He moved his chair a little forward and leaned his chin on a hand, watching Jinyoung with amusement.

Jinyoung took a deep breath, deciding to ignore Yugyeom again. “When I first told my grandmother that I’m gay, she got really upset not even because of my sexuality per se, but because she was scared I won’t ever find anyone who would take care of me and shit like that. In her opinion it’s always a girl that’s smarter–”

“Well, I can certainly see why she got worried. You’d need a Nobel Prize winner,” Yugyeom interrupted, earning a flip-off from Jinyoung.

“ _Anyways_. She calls me at least once a week to see if I finally found someone. My family knows how I feel about relationships but my grandmother… She’s old, Yugyeom-ssi. She’s scared that she’ll die while I’m still alone,” Jinyoung swallowed, averting his gaze to look out of the window. It was hard to talk about it, especially to someone like Yugyeom, but it was truth all the same and he wanted to say it out loud. Jinyoung didn’t like to waste his time on relationships mostly because the boys he used to date were dumb as fuck, and he thought that maybe after university he’ll have more time for that. His parents knew it and didn’t pressure him, especially because they still seemed to have a hard time accepting his sexuality, but his grandmother was an entirely different story. “She got so happy when my sister told them about you. For some reason that goes totally over my head, my grandmother likes you. She thinks you’re a good kid which means she clearly doesn’t remember you at all.” Yugyeom snorted at that but he didn’t interrupt. “But I just– I just couldn’t tell her the truth.”

Yugyeom was quiet for a moment and then he sighed loudly, intertwining his fingers behind his head. “Fine, I’ll do it. For seven hundred thousands* won.”

“Seven hundred thousands?!” Jinyoung yelled, turning his head towards Yugyeom so fast he thought he’ll have whiplash.

“You’re right. You’re rich, you can give me eight,” Yugyeom shrugged with a bored expression. “And your twenty minutes just passed.”

“You want eight hundred thousands won for one week of pretending to be my boyfriend?” Jinyoung asked with disbelief. It wasn’t that Jinyoung couldn’t pay him that much, it was just unbelievable that Yugyeom would want this money! “What are you, a consort?”

“Be glad I don’t want more for all the trauma I’ll have to go through. I don’t even _like_ you and you want me to pretend _love_ , Jinyoung. Hurry up, I need to go.” Yugyeom stood up from his chair and put the black coat back on, expectantly looking at Jinyoung.

He guessed he can’t really complain, Jinyoung thought Yugyeom will just laugh at him. “You’ll get three hundred thousands before and the rest after. But only if you can fool everyone,” Jinyoung added quickly, crossing arms over his chest. It was only fair.

Yugyeom hummed something to himself and nodded, smirking again. “I’m quite good at that.”

And then Yugyeom was gone, leaving Jinyoung alone in a restaurant thoroughly humiliated.

**− iv −**

Jinyoung didn’t tell anyone about his talk with Yugyeom, so of course all his friends knew about it.

“I can’t believe he actually agreed to it, though,” Youngjae said, raising his gaze from his notebook to look at the dancers in front of them. Yugyeom, Jaebum, Jackson and BamBam were practicing some new choreography for the last two hours. Jinyoung was pretty sure that he’ll die of boredom if they won’t end in the next fifteen minutes.

“I’m paying him. I’m paying him a lot so it’s not like he’s doing it out of goodness of his heart,” Jinyoung snorted, leaning back against the mirrors that replaced a whole wall.

“But you two hate each other, I never thought that anything would make Yugyeom-ah act civil with you,” Mark pointed out from Jinyoung’s other side. “But then again, I never thought a kiss like that was possible between enemies,” he smirked.

Jinyoung decided to entirely ignore the second part of Mark’s answer. He knew Mark was the only sober one so he was the only one who remembered everything, but Jinyoung honestly didn’t want to hear anything about this godawful party.

“Apparently eight hundred thousands won is enough to make him act civil.” Jinyoung knew he sounds bitter even though he didn’t mean it, after all he was the one who asked Yugyeom for help and he knew the consequences.

Youngjae frowned a little. “It’s not like that, hyung. He needs this money,” he muttered quieter.

Jinyoung looked towards Yugyeom with surprise. The younger boy was dancing in gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt, his face was read from exercise and his black hair stuck to his sweaty forehead; he looked really tired but also content because he was able to repeat all the moves Jaebum showed them. Jinyoung didn’t even think about what Yugyeom wanted the money for, he didn’t ask and doubted that Yugyeom would tell him anyway – his best guess was that Yugyeom would spend it on stupid things like new clothes or more chokers.

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung asked Youngjae, but before Youngjae could answer, Jaebum clapped his hands and announced that they’re done for today.

Yugyeom flopped down to the wooden floor in front of Youngjae, but his gaze fell on Jinyoung first. “Hello, boyfriend,” he chirped happily, wiping his face with a towel to throw it at Jinyoung later.

Jinyoung threw it away with annoyance, frowning. “I honestly regret every single decision that led me into this moment.”

“Is that what your mother said when she was giving birth to you?” Yugyeom asked, making Jackson choke on his water.

“Yugyeom-ssi, how many times do we have to tell you about respecting your hyungs?” Mark asked, rolling his eyes at the youngest boy.

“I respect _you_ , hyung,” Yugyeom answered, blinking innocently. Jinyoung kicked at his ankle, almost immediately earning a kick back. “See that? What about respecting your dongsaengs?”

“I’ve been provoked.”

“With what? My face?”

“Of course–”

“Okay, we get it!” Jaebum yelled, raising his hands to stop them both from fighting. “Can you tell me how in hell you want to pull the relationship off? You two can’t even breathe the same air without yelling over who gets more oxygen. There’s no way your sister is going to fall for that, Jinyoung-ah.”

That certainly was a problem. Because of her stalking obsession, Jinsook was insanely observant and she had known Yugyeom for quite a long time. She knew how he acts around Jinyoung and it would be hard to convince her that something suddenly changed, even though she was the one who “discovered” their relationship first and blabbered about it to the whole Park family. Jinyoung mostly thought about his grandmother before, but now he had another thing to worry about. Jinsook wouldn’t believe them unless they pull off an Oscar worthy performance. Which seemed impossible with the way Yugyeom was pissing Jinyoung off with just his facial expression.

“I’m not worried about Jinsook-noona,” Yugyeom said suddenly, surprising Jinyoung. Not only because of his words but also because he used a honorific for Jinyoung’s sister. He never used one for Jinyoung, this was just unfair. “I’m worried about the other five hundred relatives I’ve never met before. Honestly, just go to our hometown and knock on any door you want, a Park will certainly jump out of somewhere.”

“Don’t be fucking rude,” Jinyoung kicked him again, frowning. Alright, so his family was big but Yugyeom’s flare for dramatic was getting out of hands.

“Watch your fucking language,” Mark hit the back of Jinyoung’s head.

“The whole thing is actually kind of hilarious,” BamBam spoke up for the first time, turning everyone’s attention his way. Not like it was hard, BamBam usually was in the center of things. “You two hated each other basically since you were in diapers and both your families know it. And now you want to fool them into believing you’re in love? Can we make a bet on how fast they’ll fail?” he asked with a dumb smile.

“Why won’t you go and choke on that water, huh?” Jinyoung asked with a raised eyebrow. He was stressed enough already, BamBam’s antics were the last thing he needed today. It was late and he just wanted to sleep for the next three years.

“I’m saying that they won’t even walk into the house and Jinsook will call their bullshit,” Jackson announced, completely ignoring Jinyoung. He needed better friends.

Jaebum shook his head. “I’m giving them a day. They will act weird about sharing a bed on the first night and then Jinsook will know.”

“Sharing a what now?” Yugyeom asked with wide eyes, looking at his hyungs like a deer caught in the headlights.

“See?” Jaebum asked with a smirk.

“We’re not going to share a bed, shut up.” Jinyoung massaged his temple, he could already feel the headache he’ll have after this conversation. His brain cells were disappearing at an alarming rate whenever his friends thought they’re funny.

“And why not?” BamBam asked, clearly having the time of his life. Fuck him. “You’re both adults, your parents will surely think you did the do.”

Mark snorted. “Did the… Just call it sex, you’re not eleven.”

“Alright, but why would my parents want us to do the do in their house? You’re all dumb as fuck, glad we had the talk and now I’m leaving,” Jinyoung announced loudly, gathering his things and getting up.

“But Jinyoung, have we done the do?” Yugyeom called after him, also scrambling up to his feet. Jackson spit his water at poor Youngjae who had been just watching his friends with a thoughtful expression. That just proved Jinyoung’s point; all bad things always happened because of Yugyeom. And eventually Jackson. It was better to keep those two far away from each other. “Do you think we should start sharing a bed already, boyfriend?”

Jinyoung didn’t even stop when he called over his shoulder, “I hope you get hit by a truck, Kim Yugyeom.”

“Love you too, sweetcheeks!”

Jinyoung was sure that his life couldn’t get worse at this point. But he shouldn’t have underestimated Yugyeom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *seven hundred thousands won is around 700 dollars, eight is about 800 dollars
> 
> i hope you guys liked the chapter!


	2. “how to create an awkward situation” (ft. Kim Yugyeom)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Right. But I doubt that screaming do it for the Vine when Lady Macbeth is committing homicide will help our case, Yugyeom-ah. And you were kicked out of the drama club, you idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the comments under 1st chapter were so nice, i'm glad you guys like the story so far!  
> this chapter wasn't checked for mistakes, i'll probably do it tomorrow because im too tried now

**t w o**

**“how to create an awkward situation”  
(ft. Kim Yugyeom)**

**− i −**

Spending time with Yugyeom was kind of like taking care of a very moody cat that should have been born in Egypt because it was convinced that people should worship the ground it walks on. To make things worse, the owner of the cat was this one annoying neighbor who was always looking through their windows and telling your parents if you were driving too fast on the street with your bike. And Jinyoung knew what he was talking about, Ms Jung even owned binoculars and she did have an awful cat named Lucy (all kids in the neighborhood called it Lucifer, except for Yugyeom who adored the animal and his love was very reciprocated – another proof that Yugyeom was the devil incarnate).

But, unfortunately, this time Jinyoung was forced to be in one room with the younger boy because they both got detention after professor Kim overheard them cursing at each other in the hallway. To be fair, Jinyoung did tell Yugyeom to fuck all the way off but he still thought Yugyeom cursed more.

So right now they were both in the library, sorting out the books and putting them on the right shelves.

“I’ve found a book about the Salem trial,” Yugyeom called over from another row. “You think I’ll see your picture here?”

Jinyoung pushed another poetry book on a shelf. “Yeah, I’m the guy who accused you of witchcraft. Just look for your picture and you’ll find me, too.”

“Quiet there!” the old librarian called with her screeching voice that made a chill run down Jinyoung’s spine. That woman truly was terrifying with her black dress, wrinkles and hair white like snow that reached the end of her back. Sometimes she even wore black gloves that went up to her elbows.

“Alright, well, _her_ picture certainly is in this book somewhere,” Yugyeom muttered, making Jinyoung snort louder than he’d like. “How long have we been dating?” the boy asked after another few minutes of silence.

“What, what?” Jinyoung asked dumbly, frowning a little. 

Yugyeom took a book from a shelf and he looked at Jinyoung through the gap that appeared between other books. “We need to come up with a story for our relationship, right? You said I won’t get paid if I’m not convincing but I can’t really act by myself so just use those few brain cells you have left and help me,” he said, tilting his head to one side.

Jinyoung swallowed down the insult mostly because Yugyeom was right. They did need a good story. Jinyoung furrowed his eyebrows and focused his gaze on a silver earring in Yugyeom’s left ear; it was a small star on a short chain, he always wore it even if he changed the earring in another ear.

“I don’t know. A few months? It can’t be too long because they would ask why haven’t I told them before. And Jinsook would certainly find out anyway,” he pointed out with a light shrug.

Yugyeom hummed quietly something that sounded suspiciously like _Ice-cream_ by Hyuna and then he nodded slowly. “Alright, four months. It’s long enough for you to want to introduce me to them, but not long enough for us to be totally comfortable with PDA. We’ve hated each other for fourteen years, so what changed?”

“You’ve realized that all this time it was just your sexual frustration–”

Before Jinyoung could finish, Yugyeom pushed a book and Jinyoung needed to catch another one on his side, snorting out a laugh. Jinyoung thought about it for a moment, trying to come up with a believable reason as to why he suddenly changed his mind about Yugyeom. The easiest thing would be to say that he simply went crazy because nothing else would explain it. But he needed to get creative if he wanted to sell it.

Yugyeom wasn’t exactly a bad looking guy; he was a head taller than Jinyoung, his black hair softly fell on his forehead, eyes had a color of dark melted chocolate and were sheltered by long eyelashes, he often used black eyeliner and had a small mole under the right eye, his cheekbones were nice and lips full. Yugyeom usually wore black ripped jeans and sweaters that were a little too big or leather jackets, he also owned an insane amount of black chokers. Now that Jinyoung thought about it, Yugyeom could even be considered attractive. Like, insanely attractive. Not that it mattered to Jinyoung because it was still the same awful Yugyeom, but it could matter to Jinsook. Maybe Jinyoung could just say that puberty hit Yugyeom like a truck and Jinyoung was dating him only because of his looks.

“You’re thinking something damn rude about me, aren’t you?” Yugyeom asked with raised eyebrows, shaking Jinyoung out of his thoughts.

“Of course not,” he answered a little too quickly. Alright, he would never tell Yugyeom that he thinks he’s pretty. Screw that, he’d rather to dive head first into a trashcan.

“You’re a terrible liar.” Yugyeom started to put books on the shelves again and Jinyoung quickly did the same, the sooner they finish the faster they would be out of library.

“I think that’s rather good,” Jinyoung stated with a light shrug, even though Yugyeom couldn’t see him anymore. Jinyoung never liked to lie, which sounded really stupid considering the things he wanted to do during the wedding.

“Maybe, but certainly not right now. Not with a sister that would challenge Sherlock Holmes to an intellectual duel if she had the chance,” Yugyeom informed him with annoyance in his voice.

Jinyoung sometimes forgot that Yugyeom used to actually get along with his sister when Yugyeom’s family still lived on the same street. It was mostly because Yugyeom had an older sister that got along with Jinsook well and the boy would tag along with them whenever he pleased. Jinyoung had no idea what was Yugyeom’s sister doing right now, he didn’t even remember her name. Their family moved out of Jinyoung’s neighborhood four years ago and from that time Jinyoung only ever saw Yugyeom (sadly).

Jinyoung sighed tiredly. “I honestly didn’t sign up for a younger sister.”

“I’m pretty sure my older sister didn’t sign up for me and yet. Be glad that your fake boyfriend is a pathological liar that used to be in the drama club,” Yugyeom answered, walking over to Jinyoung’s row to help him with the rest of the books.

“Right. But I doubt that screaming _do it for the Vine_ when Lady Macbeth is committing homicide will help our case, Yugyeom-ah. And you were kicked out of the drama club, you idiot.”

Yugyeom shrugged with a smirk. “But I was Macbeth, wasn’t I? They wouldn’t have chosen me if I didn’t know how to act. And you’re an idiot, you idiot.”

Jinyoung pushed Yugyeom but then the boy stumbled over his untied shoes and fell on the book shelf. It started to fall back and Jinyoung had about two seconds to catch Yugyeom’s shirt because otherwise he would undoubtedly break one of his limbs. Jinyoung dragged Yugyeom towards himself and ended with his face smashed against Yugyeom’s chest while the next four high shelves fell on top of each other with a loud noise that could probably be heard from the other end of the campus.

“That was totally your fault,” Yugyeom muttered, resting his chin on top of Jinyoung’s head.

For a moment everything around them was quiet and then Jinyoung could hear noises that sounded like a whale in its last stage of life. The next thing that Jinyoung saw was the old librarian running at them with a speed that would put Usain Bolt to shame while Yugyeom hummed the theme song of John Cena.

Jinyoung honestly was ready for the death to take him right now.

**− ii −**

Jinyoung quickly realized that there’s an insane amount of little things he doesn’t know about Yugyeom and that he _should_ know them if they were really dating for four months. He only had two weeks to learn everything and create something that would look like a believable relationship with the younger boy; Jinyoung even went as far as to googling _“things couples do together”_ and he had a minor panic attack while reading about it. In fourteen days he needed to take pictures of him and Yugyeom on their dates because apparently stuffing the memory on your phone with pictures of your significant other was absolutely necessary if you wanted to function properly. Jinsook and his mother would surely want to see those pictures and hear about their awkward dates, which meant he actually needed to go out with Yugyeom.

They were both finally able to come up with a lie about the start of their relationship – it was hard but Yugyeom really was a good liar, that one Jinyoung had to admit even though in his opinion it still wasn’t a good quality to have. They decided to mix truth with lies: they were in the same group of friends (true) and when they all went to a timeshare this summer, Jinyoung and Yugyeom had to share a room (true, mostly because their friends were dickheads), this week they had to spend together made them realize that they’ve never actually hated each other and they had more in common than they’ve thought (big fat lie, they almost killed each other at least fifteen times and Jinyoung would probably smolder Yugyeom with a pillow if Youngjae wouldn’t have stopped him). After that, Jinyoung as the more mature one asked Yugyeom out and somehow they hit it off from there. Technically it could have happened. Maybe. In another universe.

Jinyoung raised his head from his laptop when the doors to his dorm opened suddenly, revealing a very disheveled Yugyeom who still had his uniform on; navy blue trousers, a white button up with one half pushed into his pants and rolled up sleeves (one higher than the other), and a loosened up tie in brown and golden colors. Black hair was sticking in every direction and the bags under Yugyeom’s eyes had almost the same color as said hair. He kicked the doors closed and threw his bag to the floor, shooting Jinyoung a nasty glare.

“Can you tell me what am I doing here instead of studying algebra so I can actually finish this damn year?” Yugyeom asked in a hoarse voice. He took a quick look around the room and then flopped face down on Mark’s bed. Jinyoung’s roommates were probably at the library right now.

“Are you sick?” Jinyoung put the laptop aside, sitting upright on his own bed.

“Of you,” the boy muttered back, voice muffled by the pillow. “What did you want?” he asked again. Jinyoung decided that it’s better not to push it, he was surprised that Yugyeom came at all because he didn’t answer to Jinyoung’s texts.

“We need to take pictures.”

Yugyeom pushed himself up on his elbows, frowning at Jinyoung. “Like, right now? I look like shit.”

Jinyoung smirked. “What else is new?” He quickly dodged it when Yugyeom threw a pillow at him but then the boy started coughing loudly, turning his head away from Jinyoung. “You _are_ sick. Have you taken any medication?”

“Since when are you my dad?” Yugyeom snorted but his voice still sounded awful. It’s not that Jinyoung cared but he didn’t want to get sick, too. Yugyeom slid off the bed and sat next to Jinyoung, taking a phone out of his pocket. “Alright, try to look presentable,” he said, pointing the camera at the both of them. Jinyoung looked at Yugyeom who was scrunching up his nose with closed eyes, and before Jinyoung could even think about looking presentable, the shutter went off. Yugyeom brought the phone closer to inspect the photo. “Not that bad. See? First done, we can take more before we leave for the wedding,” the boy talked, simultaneously doing something on his phone.

A few moments later he showed the screen to Jinyoung. On the picture he was looking at Yugyeom with something that looked like worry but Jinyoung was pretty sure that he couldn’t actually look like that because… well, he wasn’t worried about Yugyeom. Yugyeom published the photo on his Instagram with a caption that said: _when a boyfriend acts like a dad instead of daddy @p.jinyoung get rekt_.

“First of all, delete that shit. Second of all, _get rekt_? That’s exactly how boyfriends talk to each other,” Jinyoung mocked, pushing Yugyeom away.

“How would you know?” Yugyeom shot back. He didn’t even have the decency to pretend that he’s deleting the picture, he just pocketed his phone back and coughed again.

Jinyoung flinched at the sound. “Ew, watch where you inflict your phlegm, asshole.”

“You’re my boyfriend, you should be familiar with my phlegm.”

This made Jinyoung stop for a moment before his eyes widened. “You do realize that now the whole university will think we’re dating?” he asked slowly. Yugyeom just basically announced their relationship online, by tomorrow everyone will surely know about that.

Yugyeom looked at him funnily, shaking his head. “Wasn’t that the point? Now it’s more believable for your sister, you dumbass,” he explained. Jinyoung had to admit that it does make sense, it was weird that Yugyeom was the one who was better at this whole pretending thing than Jinyoung. “Now if you dragged me here for this stupid reason, help me with algebra.”

Instead of fighting, Jinyoung simply did what Yugyeom asked. He was good with math and he did waste Yugyeom’s time with his freak out, so the least he could do was help him with his homework. Jinyoung was in the middle of explaining another problem when he realized that Yugyeom fell asleep. He was lying on Jinyoung’s bed the whole time while Jinyoung sat on the floor with his back pressed to the bed so Yugyeom could see the notebook, but he was clearly too tired to go through the whole formula.

Jinyoung sighed and closed the notebook, stretching his back. It was eight in the evening so still a little too early for him to get some sleep. He looked at Yugyeom and frowned, the boy’s cheeks were flushed; when Jinyoung gently touched his forehead, it was burning up. He knew that Yugyeom had an important exam tomorrow so he surely wouldn’t stay in his dorm even though he definitely should or his sickness could get worse. Jinyoung took a blanket from the end of his bed and draped it over Yugyeom’s body, deciding to let him sleep for now. He was much less annoying when he slept, Jinyoung noticed.

Mark and BamBam, who were Jinyoung’s roommates, came back an hour later, laughing loudly. Yugyeom muttered something in his sleep and hugged the blanket tighter to his chest, it made Jinyoung throw a book he was reading at Mark’s legs.

“Shut the hell up or you’ll wake him,” he hissed when the other boys finally stopped and looked towards Jinyoung’s bed.

BamBam’s eyebrows stopped almost in the middle of his forehead. “What is Yugyeom doing in your bed? Have you finally done the do?” he asked with a smirk, quietly putting his backpack down.

“Just call it sex, please,” Mark whispered with a displeased expression. “But really, Jinyoung-ssi, what is Yugyeomie doing here?”

“I was helping him with algebra and he fell asleep in the middle. I think he’s sick,” Jinyoung shrugged, chancing a glance at the sleeping boy. Yugyeom’s long eyelashes casted shadows on his red cheeks, he looked even younger than his nineteen years just then.

BamBam sighed, his playful mood suddenly gone. “This idiot is doing it again,” he said, sitting down at Mark’s bed so he could look at Yugyeom’s face.

Jinyoung frowned. “Doing what?”

“Overworking himself,” Mark answered, scratching the tip of his nose. He sounded worried. “He can’t keep up with work, school and practice. Youngjae said that Yugyeom barely sleeps and doesn’t have time to eat properly. One of us should talk to him again.”

All those information wasn’t exactly new to Jinyoung but he had no idea it was this bad. Yugyeom was always busy with something, he was additionally on an accelerated track and had dance practices with his hyungs. It was rare to see Yugyeom just doing nothing. But it was university, it’s not like Jinyoung’s life was that different. Though he had never overworked himself to the point of getting sick because of it and he didn’t know it was something Yugyeom had already done before.

“Maybe Jackson?” BamBam suggested. “He knows what it’s like and he was able to help the last time–”

“What happened the last time?” Jinyoung interrupted again, leaning slightly forward. He should have known about it, right? Maybe he wasn’t friends with Yugyeom, but they both had the same five friends.

“How you wanna act like his boyfriend when you don’t know shit, you idiot?” BamBam snorted, lightly kicking at Jinyoung’s ankle.

Mark sat cross-legged in the middle of his bed, losing up his tie. “Yugyeom-ah needed to be hospitalized for three days because his body was exhausted. You might not know, I think you were back in your hometown that week,” he said thoughtfully, voice quiet as to not wake Yugyeom up.

Jinyoung was surprised when a feeling of guilt spread in his chest. He had no idea and no one thought he cares enough to tell him, it made him feel like an asshole. He was Yugyeom’s hyung even despite the fact that the younger boy had never ever called him that, and he should act like one. He wondered if he could do something now if the situation really was repeating itself.

“Let’s just let him sleep for now,” Mark decided with a light shrug as if reading Jinyoung’s mind. “Jinyoung, if you want, you can go to Yugyeom’s dorm and take his bed. I’m sure Youngjae won’t mind.”

Jinyoung slowly shook his head, looking at Yugyeom again. “No, it’s alright. I’ll just stay here until he wakes up.”

Jinyoung was too caught up in his thoughts to notice the look between Mark and BamBam.

**− iii −**

If there was one thing that Jinyoung knew, it was that robotics sounds better in theory than it is in practice. It’s not that he thought they will build awesome robots right away, he just hoped for something more than boring lectures about softwares and stuff like that. He could admit that he was a nerd but not _that_ big of a nerd. At least it was more math than anything else and since Jinyoung didn’t have any troubles with that, it was quite easy to slide through all exams.

“This shit is so boring, I actually think about moving to a different course,” Jackson stated when they both gathered their things after the last lecture of that day. Jinyoung followed his friend out of the class, sliding between other students that were eager to crash in the dorms.

“Yeah? Like what?” Jinyoung asked with raised eyebrows.

He wouldn’t say it out loud but he envied Jackson; he at least had the option of moving to something that would interest him more if he just wished to do so, Jinyoung didn’t have this kind of luxury. As the oldest boy in their family, it was expected of Jinyoung to take over after his father’s company once he finished the university. It’s not that Jinyoung hated robotics and the thought of owning one of the best tech companies in South Korea filled him with rage–he knew he was competent enough and that he would be ready once the time comes, but it just… It just wasn’t really what he wanted. Ji-eun, on the other hand, would sell her soul to the devil for the company. She was two years older than Jinyoung which made her the oldest from Park kids but she was born a girl and their father was strict about one thing – he wanted his oldest son to have Park Video INC. It was the reason Ji-eun despised Jinyoung and he still couldn’t come to terms with it, he would gladly step down so she could step up, but he just couldn’t find it in himself to disappoint his dad again. That’s why he didn’t protest when they sent him to study robotics. He was surprised Ji-eun even invited him to her wedding.

“I don’t know, maybe something with movies? I always liked to edit that kind of stuff. But I’ve wasted a lot of time already,” Jackson shrugged, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. They walked out of the science department and turned towards the dance studio, Jackson had practice in about fifteen minutes and since Jinyoung didn’t have better plans, he decided to tag along and maybe annoy the hell out of Yugyeom, he hasn’t seen him yet that day.

“Well, yeah, but you know… If you’d decide right away and pass appropriate exams, I think you’d catch up pretty fast,” Jinyoung answered. He wouldn’t be a dick and tell Jackson to stay on the same course with him just because he couldn’t transfer, he wasn’t actually that bad of a friend. “You’re slacking in robotics anyway.”

Jackson slapped Jinyoung’s arm with offended expression. “That was rude, Jinyoung-ah. You’re not supposed to be rude to me, I’m your best friend!”

“That would be Jaebum-hyung,” Jinyoung pointed out after a few seconds of thinking. Jackson just screeched louder, opening the doors to the studio and letting Jinyoung in first.

BamBam, Youngjae and Mark were already inside. Jaebum joined them almost as soon as Jinyoung and Jackson. Yugyeom was late so they decided to pick music first and stretch. Jinyoung took his usual place by the mirrors, sliding down next to Youngjae who already had one of his notebooks out. For some reason they both found it easier to do homework in the company of loud music, shoes squeaking on the wooden floor and Mark’s steady voice as he counted for the dancers so they could sync with each other better.

Another ten minutes passed before Yugyeom finally stepped through the doors, breathing heavily. “Sorry I’m late, I got held back at work,” he said, clearing his throat right after. He refused to rest even when Jaebum found out about his sickness and told him to stay in bed before it gets worse which it was, it was getting worse every day but Yugyeom didn’t listen to any of them. Not that Jinyoung tried to tell him anything, he was sure that if Yugyeom wasn’t listening to Jaebum and Jackson, he sure as hell wouldn’t listen to Jinyoung.

“It’s alright, just–What the hell happened to your face?” Jaebum asked louder, rushing over to Yugyeom who was just putting his bag next to the others. Jinyoung frowned and raised his head to see a dark bruise on Yugyeom’s jawline, it was going down below his left ear and it looked horribly painful. Jinyoung was all talk but he never actually got punched in the face; well, maybe besides the times when his sisters lost their patience but they always went for his chin because they were shorter than him. Most of them, anyway.

Yugyeom swatted at Jaebum’s hand. “It’s nothing, hyung. Can we–”

“Like hell it’s nothing! Who did this to you?” Youngjae was up in mere seconds, striding towards his best friend. He was almost a head shorter than Yugyeom so he needed to stand on his tiptoes to cradle Yugyeom’s face in his hands to inspect the bruise. “And were they wearing a ring? Because your face is cut,” he added with annoyance in his voice. Jinyoung was pretty sure the annoyance was just masking the worry, though.

“You know, it’s actually a funny story because the guy said it’s a family heirloom–” Yugyeom stopped when he noticed Youngjae’s expression. “Hey, now, don’t get mad at me. I didn’t do anything this time.”

“This time,” Jinyoung snorted, getting Yugyeom’s attention for a split second before the boy turned back to Youngjae. It wasn’t really surprising that Yugyeom got in a fight with someone, with potty mouth like his it was bound to happen more often than not, but usually he came out of the fights without bruises. This could only mean that Yugyeom didn’t try to fight back. “Was that a customer?” Jinyoung concluded, tilting his head to one side.

Yugyeom sighed impatiently. “Yes, it was a customer. Thank you, Sherlock Holmes. He just got mad because he thought I’m checking out his girlfriend when I was obviously checking out his friend. Just–The boy had freckles, okay? Sue me.”

BamBam giggled at that. “Well, alright, I can understand that. I’m weak for freckles. But I thought you knew how to dodge a hit.”

“Can you all shut up?!” Jaebum yelled with exasperation, punching Yugyeom lightly in the shoulder. “You need to put ice on that, you idiot. You’re not dancing today, go get some ice. Jinyoung, you go with him.”

“What? Why me?” Jinyoung asked immediately, crossing arms over his chest. He wasn’t Yugyeom’s caretaker, thank you very much. And the last thing he wanted today was dealing with a sick and whiny Yugyeom.

Jaebum smiled sweetly, it was the kind of smile that terrified Jinyoung every single time. “Because you’re his _boyfriend_ and I actually need Youngjae here today so he can’t go.”

“But I want to dance. We have the showcase next Friday, I need practice,” Yugyeom protested, running a hand through his black hair. Then he turned away from Youngjae and sneezed into the crook of his elbow. Jinyoung snickered, Yugyeom always sounded like a small cat when he sneezed.

“You need someone to kick your ass,” Youngjae decided and he looked like he was ready to just go for it, even though Yugyeom was almost twice his size, but Jaebum caught Youngjae’s sleeve and tugged at it. “Fine, go die because of a stupid fever. You’re such a child, Yugyeom-ah.”

Yugyeom blinked, surprised at his friend’s outburst, but then he just pursed his lips and snatched the bag from the floor. He was gone in a blink of an eye and Youngjae’s face dropped.

“I just… I just don’t want it to end like the last time,” Youngjae muttered, looking at each of them. The atmosphere suddenly changed and even Jinyoung felt bad, as much as he despised Yugyeom, he wouldn’t want to see him in a hospital either.

He sighed and packed his bag again, standing up. “I’ll take care of it. But if you call me his boyfriend one more time,” he stopped, pointing at Jaebum, “I will kill you in your sleep, you hear me?”

Jackson smirked with an amused expression. “But that’s what you are, isn’t it?”

Jinyoung very dramatically flipped his friends off before pushing the doors opened. He looked around at the almost empty campus, noticing Yugyeom’s back immediately. The boy was walking at a fast pace towards the dorms, his gym bag bounced against his leg with each step. Jinyoung took off after him, he called Yugyeom’s name twice but the asshole never even glanced his way.

“Will you wait? Not all of us are ten feet tall,” Jinyoung breathed out, finally catching up.

Yugyeom shot him an unimpressed glare. “Well, sucks to be you,” he muttered but the comment lacked its usual bite.

“You didn’t have to be an asshole just because Youngjae-ssi was worried.”

That made Yugyeom stop and actually turn towards Jinyoung. He looked down at him with raised eyebrows, right hand clutching at the stripe of his bag. “I was an asshole? Me? Seriously, Jinyoung, it’s like you hate me so much that you just ignore the way others treat me. I’m always the bad guy, aren’t I?” he snorted with disbelief and then started to walk even faster.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. Alright, maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing he could have said but he had a soft spot for Youngjae and he just hated when the boy was upset. But he guessed it really wasn’t all Yugyeom’s fault. Jinyoung matched his steps to Yugyeom again.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said carefully, trying to choose his next words. He realized he never actually had to think about what he said to Yugyeom because he never really cared how the younger boy would react, the more pissed he was the better, Jinyoung treated it like personal victories. Now, though, he promised Youngjae to take care of it and that he would do. “It’s just that Youngjae is kind of right with you acting like a child. You’re obviously sick, Yugyeom-ah. I’m not saying you should skip lectures or anything, I know you have exams now, but maybe take a few days off from work?” Jinyoung suggested. He honestly had no idea how to talk to Yugyeom and it was getting to him just now. How the hell did he want to fool his entire family into believing he’s in love with the guy?

“You think it’s so easy, huh?” Yugyeom asked and Jinyoung was quite taken aback by the sudden hostility in his voice. Yugyeom didn’t even look his way. “Of course, you never had to worry about money and I bet that you haven’t worked a single day in your life.”

Jinyoung frowned at that. “What does this have–”

“I can’t just take a few days off!” Yugyeom interrupted, rubbing the bruise on his face with agitation. “If I take a few days off, they’ll find someone else and I won’t have a job anymore. Newsflash, I’m here on a partial scholarship. You know what that means?” he was talking faster now, like admitting to that was something he was embarrassed of. Truth be told, Jinyoung had no idea about the scholarship. “It means that the school’s paying for less than half of the required number and I have to pay the rest myself. Have you ever actually stopped to think about how expensive this university is or are you just sending the papers to your parents and they’re paying for it? Because let me tell you, Jinyoung, it’s a whole lot of fucking money.”

Jinyoung could feel his cheeks heat up. What Yugyeom said was true, Jinyoung had been at the university for almost four years now and he still had no idea how much his parents actually pay for him to study here. The thought never even crossed his mind, he just didn’t have to bother with thinking about it because his parents had the secretary to send the papers straight to them at the beginning of Jinyoung’s junior year. In less than ten seconds Yugyeom made him feel like a spoiled brat when no one else had ever done that before.

“So you don’t get to tell me that I should just take a few days off. I’m sick of everyone treating me like a child just because I’m trying to do something with my life–” Yugyeom was talking so fast that apparently he forgot about proper breathing because suddenly he started to cough and his face turned red. He doubled over, covering his mouth but the coughing fit only grew stronger.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Jinyoung said quietly, putting a hand on Yugyeom’s arm. “Just breathe, Yugyeom-ah.”

Yugyeom crouched on the sidewalk and Jinyoung did the same, taking a water bottle out of his bag and handing it to the younger boy. Yugyeom refused to look at him but he did accept the water, wiping his watered eyes with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. It was getting dark and the bruise on Yugyeom’s face looked almost black, being right next to him Jinyoung could now notice the cut Youngjae talked about, it ran almost in the middle of a bruise and it would definitely leave a small scar.

“I’m not going to apologize,” Yugyeom stated after a few moments, giving Jinyoung his bottle back. They both stood up and Jinyoung awkwardly scratched his neck, shrugging.

“You don’t have to, it’s not like you said anything that isn’t true,” he admitted because it really was no secret that his parents paid for everything he owned. It’s not like they did it out of possessiveness or anything like that, it was just their way of coping with him being away at the university. They still wanted to feel like he was their son, like he was close. Jinyoung knew they needed that and so he let them, he had the rest of his life for working and he knew that one day he’ll be taking care of them just like they did for him now.

“I also don’t need your help,” the boy added, clearly showing Jinyoung that he has no interest in spending time with him. Well, tough luck, Jinyoung wasn’t going anywhere. They definitely needed to work on their relationship, they only had thirteen days left.

“I know that. But Jaebum won’t let me back in anyway, so I might as well just go with you. You know, to make sure you won’t let anyone paint the other side of your face,” Jinyoung said, tilting his head to the left. Yugyeom snorted at that, moving towards the dorms again.

“How considerate of you, sweetcheeks,” Yugyeom mocked but this time he walked slower so Jinyoung didn’t have to run after him. Jinyoung considered that a win.

“I can punch you somewhere Youngjae won’t see,” Jinyoung threatened, sliding hands into the back pockets of his jeans.

Yugyeom pushed the doors to the building and held them while Jinyoung was walking through. “That sounds kinky,” he said with a raised eyebrow, smiling at the bunch of girls that passed them in the entrance and giggled, whispering to each other as they chanced glances at Yugyeom who held the doors for them, too. Jinyoung impatiently tapped his foot, shooting Yugyeom an expectant look when the boy finally stopped staring after the juniors. “What? Are you jealous, boyfriend?” he asked with amusement, bumping Jinyoung’s shoulder as they walked down the corridor towards the elevator.

“And exactly how many times were you dropped on your head as a kid?” Jinyoung fired back, pressing the button with 3 once they were inside. He leaned against the wall and fixed his gaze on Yugyeom who still had a lazy smile on his face.

“You know, you talk a lot for someone who had a boner just from kissing me,” he announced proudly, stretching his long arms over his head.

For a split second Jinyoung was sure that there was some malfunction with the elevator but then he realized that those were just his legs giving up on holding him upright. He needed to grip the pole against the wall as he zoomed in on Yugyeom with annoyance building up inside him.

“Excuse me?” he asked incredulously, clearing his throat when his voice sounded a little too high. “You’re so full of shit.” Jinyoung would have remembered that, right? Of course he would. Another thing was that he would never get turned on by anything related to Yugyeom, drunk or sober. It was… It was _Yugyeom_ , for god’s sake.

Yugyeom smirked and the number above the doors turned to two. “Oh no, I remember that part really well. See, the kiss itself is pretty blurry, thank god for that, but it surprisingly sobered me up enough to notice your… reaction,” he finished bluntly. Jinyoung wanted to punch that cocky smile off his face but he couldn’t move. Because they were here alone and Yugyeom had no reason to lie. If he’d said it in front of their friends, Jinyoung would know that it’s bullshit and Yugyeom just wanted to embarrass him, but he was telling it just to Jinyoung which meant he knew it will sting more.

It will sting more because it’s the truth. Jinyoung tried to recall the party, the kiss, anything, because he wanted to call Yugyeom out but he couldn’t. He just had drank too much afterwards.

“Don’t worry, I had one too,” Yugyeom said suddenly, making Jinyoung’s head snap up again. He must have heard it wrong. Was it suddenly hot in this elevator? His head started to hurt a little, maybe he needed to lie down. Yugyeom was watching him with a strange expression, one Jinyoung couldn’t decipher, and then he moved a step closer. “I mean, you’re a guy, right? I like guys, it’s simple. My dick doesn’t really get the friends and enemies memo,” the boy shrugged, taking another step forward.

Jinyoung tried to think of anything to say to something like that but, honestly, was there an appropriate answer? Maybe Yugyeom was right and it wasn’t that deep, Jinyoung was gay and Yugyeom was a guy, so he got turned on from kissing him. They didn’t need to do a thing out of it. Jinyoung moved his eyes around the elevator, suddenly it seemed smaller.

“You could have just kept it to yourself,” Jinyoung muttered after a moment, frowning when Yugyeom took the last step and towered over him. It was one of the things he hated about the younger boy, it was how tall he was. Jinyoung needed to tilt his head back to be able to look into his eyes, and even then his gaze didn’t stay there for too long because Yugyeom slowly licked his lips and Jinyoung forgot how to breathe for a moment.

Yugyeom put a hand on the wall next to Jinyoung’s head, leaning slightly forward. “But where’s the fun in that?” he asked, voice hoarse.

Jinyoung gripped the pole behind his back and swallowed, trying to catch at least one clear thought. It was ridiculous because this was Yugyeom, it seemed almost baffling how many times Jinyoung had to remind himself about that, his face was mere inches away so it’s not like Jinyoung could really forget. But there was something about the way Yugyeom was looking at him, different than his nasty glares or mocking winks. It seemed almost sincere. His body was warm, he smelled like fresh coffee and something sweet.

Jinyoung knew that he _wants_ –he just had no idea what exactly.

“What are you…” he started quietly when Yugyeom’s nose almost touched his own. But then the elevator beeped as it stopped on the third floor, doors opening swiftly. Suddenly Jinyoung was cold because Yugyeom’s body was gone and before Jinyoung could even blink, the boy was out of the elevator.

“Are you going to stand there all night? Come on,” Yugyeom called with a playful smirk, nodding at Jinyoung to follow him.

Jinyoung sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to ignore his tight pants. There was no point in hiding it, he knew Yugyeom already noticed. He didn’t know why his body reacts to Yugyeom like that but he did know one thing.

He was going to kill Yugyeom sooner or later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it! please let me know what you think


	3. “jealousy is NOT a good look” (ft. Park Jinyoung)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank u for all the kind comments! i'm glad someone is reading this because i love writing the story

**t h r e e**

**“jealousy is NOT a good look”  
(ft. Park Jinyoung)**

**− i −**

Yugyeom was trying to fall asleep despite the pounding headache when he felt the bed dip under another person’s weight. His body stiffened for a moment before he smelled the familiar scent of Youngjae’s perfumes–the ones Yugyeom had bought for his last birthday. Youngjae scooted closer to him and wrapped an arm around his waist, fitting his body in a space behind Yugyeom who relaxed for about two seconds before reminding himself that he’s still burning up.

“You’re going to get sick,” he muttered quietly. They were the only ones who shared this dorm so Yugyeom didn’t have to worry about waking someone up, especially as it was only eight in the evening, but he couldn’t raise the volume of his voice even if he wanted to. His throat felt as if it was swollen inside and it hurt like hell with each swallow, Yugyeom had difficulties with breathing, let alone talking. His head was heavy, loud thuds in the area of his forehead didn’t want to stop even after forcing some painkillers into his body.

Jinyoung didn’t want to leave until Yugyeom got to bed so he draped the curtains and got under the covers, just to get rid of the older student. Jinyoung found an icepack Yugyeom could use and then helped him with his math homework, but Yugyeom didn’t want to spend more time with him than necessary, especially after what had happened in the elevator. Jinyoung was clearly tense the whole time and it would probably be funny if it wasn’t for the fact that Yugyeom’s will to live was nowhere to be found today. The awkward sexual tensions had to be entertaining some other day.

“I don’t care,” Youngjae answered, pressing his face into Yugyeom’s back. “You can just be the small spoon this time, you giant baby.”

Yugyeom chuckled which finished in a few coughs muffled by the pillow. Youngjae’s grip tightened for a moment before relaxing again. “I’m sorry for–” Yugyeom started, only to be cut off a second later.

“No, don’t say it. You have nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry for saying those stupid things, you know I didn’t mean any of it. I understand why you’re acting like that, I really do. I just can’t help but be worried when I see how all of that influences you,” Youngjae said, finding Yugyeom’s hand in the dark to intertwine their fingers. Youngjae’s hand seemed amazingly cold in Yugyeom’s heated one. “I wish you would let me help in any way I can. Because I still can’t forget the phone call from Jaebum-hyung, telling me that you’re in the hospital…”

“Shh,” Yugyeom hushed, squeezing his best friend’s fingers. “I promise that will never happen again. What I did last time was irresponsible and I swear you will never have to see me like that again. I just need one more week, one more week and I’ll be able to give the money to Yun-hee,” he added with determination, squeezing his eyes shut. He needed to survive four more days and then he would be able to catch a break, heal and stop worrying his hyungs. He honestly didn’t want to be that maknae who causes trouble for everyone, he just wished everyone could be as understanding as Youngjae. Maybe then he’d be able to tell the truth to the rest of his friends.

Youngjae sighed. “One more week,” he repeated as if he wanted to convince himself that Yugyeom’s words are true. “Well, in ten days you’re leaving with Jinyoung-hyung for the wedding anyway. Maybe you’ll get some rest then,” he tried to sound optimistic.

Yugyeom frowned at that. Yeah, he really doubted that among five hundred strangers he’ll be able to rest, especially five hundred strangers from Jinyoung’s family; probably the most nosy people on earth. But it was just one week and then Yugyeom would have eight hundred thousands won, for that kind of money he could do it.

Maybe he would even have some fun along the way.

**− ii −**

“What happened to your face, Yugyeom-seonsaeng?”

Jinyoung raised his head from his essay to look at the girl who was sitting at the counter. Her name was Sunmi, she was fourteen and the daughter of _Cherry Bomb Café_ ’s owner. Yugyeom had told Jinyoung that almost the whole café was Sunmi’s idea as she was a fierce fan of the group NCT-127; when Jinyoung has heard the name of the café the first time he didn’t connect it with their song but it turned out that they played _Cherry Bomb_ three times every single day and whoever walked into the café while it was playing, they could choose anything from pies to coffees and they were getting it for free. Jinyoung thought it’s pretty cool.

Sunmi was a very kind girl with dark brown hair that almost reached her waist and a cheeky smile that made people think she’s always up to something. Apparently Yugyeom tutored her from English from time to time, however today she stopped by because her volleyball practice got cancelled. Jinyoung was there because, well, he still needed to take lots of pictures of Yugyeom and by spending time together they were getting more comfortable with each other. Even though Yugyeom was busy with customers and Jinyoung was trying to finish his essay from economics.

“I tripped under the shower, you know how clumsy I am,” Yugyeom answered, leaning on the counter inches away from where Sunmi was seating. There were only a few people in the café at the moment so he was free. Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at Yugyeom’s excuse and the boy stuck his tongue out, making Jinyoung roll his eyes.

“Oh, I know! Jinyoung-oppa,” Sunmi called, getting Jinyoung’s attention. Yugyeom had already introduced them, surprising Jinyoung by telling Sunmi that he’s Yugyeom’s boyfriend. It made sense since they were supposed to make it believable, but she was just fourteen and it was almost alarming how easy the lie came to Yugyeom. Sunmi, however, didn’t seem weirded out by two boys dating each other which was rather nice. “Did you know that the first time my appa hired Yugyeom-seonsaeng, your boyfriend tripped with the tray of freshly made Red Velvets and got them all over my eomma? He was so scared he’ll get fired right away but my eomma cried from laughter!” she announced happily, swinging her legs above the floor.

Jinyoung curiously tilted his head to the left, moving his gaze towards Yugyeom whose cheeks flushed a little. Well, maybe this fourteen year old was the only person who could embarrass Yugyeom. In that case, Jinyoung might consider adoption. “No, I’ve never heard of that. Why didn’t you tell me, babe? Were you scared I’ll laugh?” he mocked sweetly, resting his cheek in a hand. Yugyeom seemed surprised at the pet name but he quickly shook it off, smirking.

“No, I was scared your greedy ass will want me to bring you Red Velvets the next time,” he answered swiftly, turning towards the entrance when the bells above the doors rang, signaling another customer. Jinyoung snorted and Sunmi jumped off the counter, taking her cupcake to Jinyoung’s table and getting a seat next to him. “Welcome to _Cherry Bomb Café_ , what can I get you?” Yugyeom asked, putting on his charming smile. It was quite fascinating to watch how his persona changed from sarcastic Yugyeom to business Yugyeom.

Suddenly Sunmi nudged him in the ribs. “You’re staring,” she muttered with a smirk that was dangerously similar to Yugyeom’s. They were definitely spending too much time together.

Jinyoung felt his cheeks heat up a little as he rolled his eyes. “I’m his boyfriend, I’m allowed to stare,” he muttered back, trying to sound convincing. Turned out it wasn’t that hard to call Yugyeom that out loud, on the contrary–it came rather easy.

“Well, you’re right about that, oppa. But this guy’s not his boyfriend and he’s staring, too,” Sunmi pointed out, stuffing her face with the cupcake and nodding towards the counter. Jinyoung frowned and looked at the customer; it was a tall and rather buffy guy with broad shoulders, short brown hair and a very defined jawline. He wasn’t exactly bad looking and he was, in fact, staring at Yugyeom.

“I’d like a medium espresso and your number, if that’s possible,” the guy answered with a smile, leaning slightly forward. Sunmi choked on her cupcake, muttering something that sounded like _smooth_ though Jinyoung couldn’t be sure, she was getting crumbs all over his essay.

Yugyeom blinked surprised and chanced a glance at Jinyoung, hesitating with his mouth slightly opened. This time his cheeks flushed even more and he looked almost like a teenager who just had been asked out for the first time, which made literally no sense. Jinyoung tightened his grip on his pen, in his mind he levitated the cocky customer out and threw him on the pavement in front of the café.

“Baby, can you get me a Red Velvet after you’re done with this nice man?” Jinyoung called, sending Yugyeom a smile when the younger boy jerked his head in Jinyoung’s direction. Sunmi giggled beside him but Jinyoung decided to ignore her for now, maybe he should reconsider this adoption thing. The customer looked at Jinyoung with furrowed eyebrows, clearly displeased by the intrusion.

But Yugyeom just smiled brightly, a genuine smile that made something turn in Jinyoung’s stomach, and he nodded, ringing the order in. “Of course I can. And I’m really sorry,” he continued, turning towards the customer now, “but my boyfriend wouldn’t be too happy with me giving my number to strangers. But I can assure you that the coffee will be amazing.”

“Oh, that’s a shame. But if you ever change your mind, I’ll probably stop by again sometimes.” Damn, the guy could not take a hint.

Yugyeom quickly turned to the express and made the espresso, smirking at Jinyoung as he put it on the counter in front of the customer. The man thanked him and smiled, walking out of the café without as much as a second glance at Jinyoung.

“What an asshole,” Jinyoung muttered, shaking his head with disbelief. “That happens often?” he asked Yugyeom, raising an eyebrow. The boy leaned on the counter again, biting his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling and for a moment he was just looking at Jinyoung before Sunmi burst into laughter. “What?” Jinyoung asked confused.

“I didn’t think you were serious about the Red Velvets, seonsaeng!” Sunmi cried out, clutching her stomach that probably hurt from laughter.

Yugyeom laughed, too. “Oh, I was totally serious. Jinyoung has a sweet tooth,” he informed the girl, taking one Red Velvet from the display. He put it on a plate and carried it over to the table, putting it in front of Jinyoung.

“Oh, screw you, guys,” Jinyoung muttered, moving his papers away to pull the plate closer. Okay, so he liked to eat sweet things, sue him.

Yugyeom put a hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder and leaned a little closer to his ear. “Jealousy looks really good on you,” he whispered, his breath tickling the skin on Jinyoung’s neck. He could feel shivers running down his spine and his cheeks heat up again when Yugyeom quickly moved away, going back behind the counter.

“I wasn’t jealous!” Jinyoung shrieked louder than he wanted to, earning a few curious glances from other customers at further tables.

But when Sunmi only laughed again, Jinyoung had to admit defeat. Yugyeom and Sunmi very obviously ganged up on him, he stood no chance.

**− iii −**

For their first “date” Yugyeom decided on an arcade since it was the middle of the week and neither of them wanted to bother with big planning, fancy restaurants and shit like that. Jinyoung’s sister would never believe that they actually dressed up and made reservations, the fanciest place Jinyoung had ever been to with his dates was McDonald’s. They both knew they can’t half-ass it but they couldn’t also overdo anything, creating this relationship was like walking on a tightrope and Jinyoung was quite impressed at how into it Yugyeom actually seemed to be.

“Well, you did say you won’t pay me if your family calls our bullshit,” was Yugyeom’s response each time Jinyoung pointed it out. And, really, Jinyoung had no right to feel bad because of it, he knew Yugyeom’s in for the money and Jinyoung himself wouldn’t have it any other way, he could think about nice dates once the wedding is over. Right now he needed to focus on a mission.

Which proved to be very difficult when Yugyeom was moving on the dance mat, literally crushing his opponent. The boy was wearing his usual black ripped jeans but he chose a fancy button up in a color of peaches that nicely complimented his tan skin, he also had a thick choker that matched the color of his shirt and was very smooth in touch (it looked smooth so Jinyoung _had_ to touch it, alright, not a big deal). Ever since that time at the library when Jinyoung for the first time noticed how pretty Yugyeom is, it was hard to ignore it. Especially since they were spending much more time together for the last four days than in the fourteen years of knowing each other. Jinyoung was staring in awe as Yugyeom almost effortlessly moved his legs from one shiny arrow to the other, at the same time singing BigBang’s _Bang Bang Bang_ that was playing.

In the end Yugyeom had won by almost three hundred thousand points and people gathered around the game clapped their hands as the boy jumped down and walked to Jinyoung with a smile plastered on his face. Before asking him on this fake-date Jinyoung made sure that Yugyeom’s fever died down a little and Yugyeom seemed to feel better since this morning even though his voice still sounded rough. Yugyeom covered the bruise on his face with foundation and it was barely visible now.

“Now it’s your turn to impress me, boyfriend,” Yugyeom winked at him, running a hand through his black hair stuck to his forehead.

Jinyoung swallowed hard. “Didn’t know I had to impress you. We’re already dating,” he said but he was already looking for a game he’d be good at. It was kind of embarrassing but Jinyoung had never been in an arcade before, he knew Yugyeom and BamBam were regulars here but he just never thought he’d actually have fun in a place like that. So far it wasn’t bad but he just had no idea which game he could try to not fail miserably in front of Yugyeom. He wouldn’t lose to that idiot.

“Well, but I can always find someone better, nah _duh_. We’ve been dating for four months, we’re not married, Jinyoung. At this stage of relationship people are still supposed to chase after each other, you know?” Yugyeom stated with a raised eyebrow, resting his elbow on Jinyoung’s arm. Jinyoung almost immediately shook him off, frowning.

“The question is, how do _you_ know that? Were you ever in a relationship?” he asked doubtfully, eyeing Yugyeom up and down as if to say that there’s no way anyone would date that. Yugyeom pushed him away roughly and snorted, moving further from the dancing game. “Oh, come one, Yugyeom-ah. Don’t get mad, it’s a serious question. I’m curious!” he called after the tall boy, trying to catch up to Yugyeom’s long strides. There was just too many people around.

After a few moments Yugyeom looked back and sighed impatiently, reaching for Jinyoung’s hand to tug him closer to himself, probably to not lose him in the crowd. Jinyoung almost jerked his hand away before he reminded himself that couples hold hands all the time, it wasn’t a big deal. He couldn’t do shit like that, flinching whenever Yugyeom touched him. Might as well write _“my fake boyfriend”_ on Yugyeom’s forehead. So Jinyoung just intertwined his fingers with Yugyeom’s and let himself be dragged to whatever game Yugyeom wanted to play now.

“I’ve had a boyfriend,” Yugyeom said some time later, chancing a quick glance at Jinyoung who shot him a questioning look. He had no idea and Yugyeom looked like he didn’t really want to talk about it. “Once. It wasn’t anything serious, though. It’s just–My sister told me that when I told her about you. She said she’d die to see me in my honeymoon phase, apparently at this stage of our relationship we’re still convinced that the other hang up the moon or some shit,” the boy shrugged, absentmindedly squeezing Jinyoung’s hand when someone bumped into Jinyoung. “We’re still afraid that the other will see we’re not good enough for them. I swear, one minute longer and Yun-hee would start spitting sonnets at me but I’m pretty sure she knows it’s bullshit in our case.”

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung asked confused, trying to process the fact that Yugyeom had told his older sister that he was dating her little brother. Yugyeom’s very scary older sister, that much Jinyoung remembered about her. She could kick his ass any day.

Yugyeom looked at him with amusement in his dark eyes. “Even if our relationship was real, it wouldn’t be _that_ kind of relationship.”

Jinyoung had no idea what Yugyeom was talking about but he decided to skip that for now because something else was nagging at him. “Why did you tell your sister?”

“Seriously, Jinyoung, start using your head,” Yugyeom sighed, stopping in the line to some flippers. Jinyoung probably would get more offended at Yugyeom’s statement if it wasn’t for the fact that Yugyeom didn’t let go of his hand. “My sister still talks to your sisters. Don’t you think it would be weird if she found out about us from your family and not me? Have you even actually thought this whole thing through before blurting your insane idea to me?” He sounded genuinely curious, looking down at Jinyoung.

“Well, I… I just–I kind of freaked out?” Jinyoung muttered uncertainly, shrugging his shoulders. Yugyeom snorted at that. “Oh my god, this is terrible. They won’t believe us and it will be the most embarrassing thing ever, and my sister will never forget about it and–” he blabbered on, eyes running from one game to another. He could feel panic building inside him and he started to think about all the things that could go wrong; turned out it’s a _lot_ of things.

Suddenly there was a hand covering his mouth and Jinyoung’s mind got blank in a second, all his focus on the warm sensation that seemed almost overwhelming. Yugyeom leaned in a little so their eyes would be on the same level and he shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Shut up, okay? Just stop talking and stop thinking about it. I’ve already told you I’m good at both things we need to pull this off: acting and lying. We got this, yeah? Just stop freaking out,” Yugyeom said, voice surprisingly gentle. “Nod your head if you understand.”

Jinyoung immediately nodded, eyes wide. Yugyeom was so close and Jinyoung finally figured out what Yugyeom smells like besides fresh coffee; he smelled like Red Velvets.

The boy smiled and moved his hand, sighing with relief. “Wow, so good to be the mature one in our relationship.”

“Okay, now _you_ shut up,” Jinyoung grumbled, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. He seriously needed to get a grip because so far Yugyeom was just so much better at everything, it made Jinyoung feel pathetic. It was his plan, after all. His family, his lie. He couldn’t fuck it up. “How do you even play these?” he asked when it was finally their turn to use the flipper.

Yugyeom looked at him incredulously but instead of making fun of him, like Jinyoung expected, he started to explain what each button did and then he guided Jinyoung’s hand on the joystick, showing him which objects on the screen he should shoot down and which to avoid. Jinyoung tried to focus but Yugyeom’s body was pressing to his right side, Yugyeom’s warm hand was clasped over his own and Jinyoung could feel Yugyeom’s breath in his hair. Suddenly he remembered about a weird conversation he had with Jackson the other day, something about hatred and sexual tension; the memory made him inhale sharply.

“Are you even listening to me?” Yugyeom asked with a frown, moving away from Jinyoung.

Jinyoung nodded eagerly, hiding his face again. Damn it, he was twenty-two, for fuck’s sake. This wasn’t some teenage crush, this wasn’t an actual date, he needed to get a grip. Right now. “Of course I’m listening!”

Yugyeom sighed, wiping his face with his hand. “We seriously need to do something about your ability to lie under pressure. We only have twelve days left,” he muttered more to himself. Jinyoung instantly felt like shit, he was the one who asked Yugyeom for help and now he wasn’t even cooperating when Yugyeom at least tried to make this evening enjoyable for them both.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I’m just distracted, that’s all,” he offered awkwardly, finally looking up at Yugyeom who was scanning the arcade with an indifferent expression.

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s just get something to eat.” Yugyeom’s voice was strained and Jinyoung realized that the boy was talking a lot in the last hour, his throat probably hurt.

“Alright,” Jinyoung said gently. This time he was the one to take Yugyeom’s hand first, ignoring the surprised look on Yugyeom’s face. It’s not like Jinyoung couldn’t initiate contact, he just usually preferred not to do it.

There was a small restaurant on the second floor of the arcade and they somehow managed to find an empty table. Jinyoung paid for their drinks and burgers, even though Yugyeom said he can just pay for himself. They sat in silence for a while, munching on their food. It wasn’t really awkward, none of them just felt the need to talk about pointless things. Yugyeom took a photo while Jinyoung ate and then recorder a short video of Jinyoung flipping him off for the picture. Jinyoung caught himself actually enjoying the time he spent with Yugyeom.

“My sister is coming to visit this weekend,” Yugyeom said when they were done with the burgers. He was sipping on his lemonade, dark eyes looking at Jinyoung over the small table. “She wants to see you,” he added and for a moment he actually looked sheepish, averting his gaze to some group of boys who loudly debated on what they should order. “If you want to, of course.”

Jinyoung gulped. “Oh, yeah, sure, I mean… Why does she want to see me?” he asked, voice higher than he’d like. He _wasn’t_ afraid of Yugyeom’s sister. He absolutely was not.

Yugyeom shrugged. “Said she hasn’t seen you in a long time and wants to see how you’re treating me,” the boy smirked at that, tilting his head. Well, that didn’t sound comforting. “Don’t worry, she’s not actually that scary.”

“Gee, thanks,” Jinyoung muttered, rolling his eyes. Then he thought of something and curiously looked at Yugyeom. “Don’t you feel bad, though? About lying to her?”

Yugyeom uncomfortably moved on his chair. This time he was quiet for a longer period of time. “Sure, I feel bad in a way, I guess. But she’s still freaking out about me being in Seoul all alone even though she had met all our friends,” he said with a shake of his head. Jinyoung could kind of understand Yun-hee, Yugyeom was just nineteen and Seoul was a long way from their hometown. Jinyoung at least had his older sister here and even though she didn’t want to talk to him, it was still family. Yugyeom was alone. “Noona knows I can take care of myself, it’s not that she doesn’t trust me. She just… I guess she’s kind of like your grandmother. She wants someone to look out for me when she can’t,” Yugyeom shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe it wasn’t, but Jinyoung somehow doubted it. He briefly wondered why Yugyeom hasn’t talked about his parents at all but he thought it’s better not to ask.

“But you, of course, don’t need anyone to look out for you,” Jinyoung mocked, tugging at the sleeves of his dark green sweatshirt.

“Now you get it,” Yugyeom nodded, clearing his throat.

Jinyoung almost couldn’t believe that Yugyeom was so full of shit. He was just nineteen, he overworked himself to the point of getting sick–it was pretty obvious that he couldn’t do everything on his own. Jinyoung just shook his head, pushing the straw of his drink to his mouth.

It wasn’t his business, after all. He was just the fake boyfriend.

**− iv −**

Jinyoung took one last look at Mark and then dived in between the players of the opposite team, getting the ball exactly one step before the line. Mark wasn’t their captain for nothing, he always knew where to throw to give his players the perfect opening. And if there was one thing Jinyoung could do, it was jumping. He wasn’t tall, his height was rather average and next to Yugyeom he could even be considered short, but when he jumped, he was above everyone.

The ball perfectly fell into his hands, he turned his body, took one last step and sprung into the air, blocking all the screams and cheers from all around him. Three seconds to the end.

Jinyoung pushed with his right hand, feeling the hands of his opponents trying to catch his jersey and drag him down. Two seconds to the end.

Ball brushed his fingertips, moving in the air to the basket. It danced on the orange border– one second left.

The referee whistled loudly. The ball was in, three points for Jinyoung’s team, giving them a win 37-34. Jinyoung’s sneakers squealed on the wood as he fell and he was immediately engulfed in a tight hug, hearing Mark’s roar in his ear. Thanks to him their team advanced to the finals next week and it was _exhilarating_. Jinyoung screamed too because fuck that, they worked so hard and they definitely deserved it. He scanned the crowd on the bleachers, spotting his friends almost effortlessly. BamBam and Yugyeom were screaming the loudest, Jackson whistled, Jaebum and Youngjae were holding a huge banner with the name of their team and their mascot painted underneath it. It was moments like this when Jinyoung was the most grateful for his friends, they were just always there whether he looked for them or not.

The whole team decided to celebrate their win at a diner not too far away from the university which held the game. The staff was startled, to say the least, when they saw almost thirty grown up boys hollering like kids as they walked through the doors, everyone talking to everyone and each of them trying to be louder.

“You’re so full of shit, Dong-min-hyung!” Yugyeom yelled in a hoarse voice, carrying on a conversation with Jinyoung’s teammate even after they split into different booths at opposite ends of the diner. Jinyoung was pressed to the wall with Yugyeom, Youngjae and BamBam next to him, respectively. Jaebum, Jackson and Mark sat on the other side of the table. “The little guy with nine on his back totally sidestepped you in the first half, I was just waiting for him to step on your face. And it was Jinyoung who scored out of your messed up offense!”

While Jinyoung was very grateful for Yugyeom defending his honor, he would love if the brat stopped screaming next to his ear.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, kid, otherwise I’d punch your face in with the ball,” Dong-min laughed, earning hard shoves from the boys who sat on his sides. Dong-min obviously blushed, pushing his friends off of him. Jinyoung’s eyebrows rose as he looked at Yugyeom.

“I’m sitting with your captain, this table is untouchable,” Yugyeom announced with a smirk, apparently ignoring the offhanded compliment from Dong-min. Seriously, were people always this flirty with Yugyeom and Jinyoung didn’t notice or were they all doing it to mess with him? Dong-min knew about their ‘relationship’.

“I want you to stop and realize how loud you’re being,” Jinyoung sighed, swatting at Yugyeom’s arm to make him finally turn around to his own table. The boy snorted but sat properly, wriggling between Jinyoung and Youngjae.

Yugyeom hummed happily, waiting for his turn to pick something from the menu. “I had no idea guys on the basketball team are so pretty,” he said suddenly, sliding a little down on his seat to get more comfortable.

Mark gasped at that. “I’m on the basketball team, Yugyeomie.”

“Well, yeah, but I knew you’re pretty even before I knew you’re on the team, hyung,” Yugyeom answered smoothly, batting his eyelashes at Mark who laughed sincerely, shaking his head. Jaebum rolled his eyes and faked gagging sounds.

“Your boyfriend is literally right next to you,” Jackson pointed out with a shit eating grin. Honestly, Jinyoung was pretty sure that Jackson gets the most fun from the whole ordeal. He was making fun of Jinyoung before just fine but now it was getting borderline impossible to deal with the stupidity.

“Can’t a guy appreciate another guy?” Yugyeom asked innocently, leaning his head against Jinyoung’s shoulder. Jinyoung tensed for a few seconds but when Yugyeom didn’t move, he started to relax and he tried to wipe the frown from his face. Yugyeom was allowed to flirt with others, it’s not like he really was in a relationship and they never actually talked about other people; for example, what if Yugyeom would want to go on a real date while he was fake-dating Jinyoung? Were there some kind of rules for that?

Jinyoung couldn’t just say that he doesn’t want Yugyeom to go out with other people. It sounded wrong on so many levels.

“I don’t know. Jinyoung-ssi, what do you think?” Jackson raised an eyebrow, resting his arm behind Mark.

Fortunately, Jinyoung was saved from answering by a very blushing waitress who gripped the pen with a shaky hand and in an even shakier voice asked for their orders. When they all started to talk at the same time, the poor girl looked like she was going to drop dead any second. Jaebum delivered a hard kick under the table to each of his friends and then ordered burgers and fries for all of them, smiling as prettily as he could. This, however, didn’t help their case because the small girl almost fainted when she was going back to the kitchen.

“Great, Jaebum-hyung, you spread your hetero pheromones all over her and now she’s going to die,” Yugyeom deadpanned, making everyone at the table snort loudly.

Jaebum looked offended at that. “Did you just call me hetero?”

“What is this heterophobia?” BamBam shrieked in a high-pitched voice, slamming his hand down onto the table. Their cute waitress just walked back behind the counter and the loud noise made her literally jump three feet into the air. Jinyoung actually felt bad for her.

“Can we at least pretend that we’re normal? We have finals next week, we can’t go to jail for murdering the waitress,” he muttered but it only made his friends double over with laughter and then there was no stopping it. They were all just too hyped after the win to calm down.

And, to be honest, Jinyoung loved every second of it.

When two hours later they were finally on a bus back to their campus, Yugyeom couldn’t even talk anymore; his voice was too hoarse and throat hurt too badly, so he just fell asleep with his head on Youngjae’s shoulder. By now Yugyeom, Youngjae, Jaebum, Jackson and BamBam were practically the members of their team so they usually traveled with them–the coach didn’t have anything against it but then again, there was nothing Jinyoung’s friends couldn’t get if they worked together. Manipulative fucks.

Jinyoung was ready to fall asleep, too, because he was honestly exhausted but then he felt a light tap on his shoulder and he craned his neck to see Dong-min leaning in between Jinyoung and Mark’s seats.

“What?” Jinyoung asked tiredly, not in the mood to talk to that particular teammate.

“It true that you’re banging Yugyeom? Or is he like, available?” Dong-min muttered with a raised eyebrow, stupid smirk firmly on his face. It’s not that Jinyoung didn’t like Dong-min, he had absolutely no problems with any of his teammates, it was just that Dong-min was so painfully closeted that he would probably tell Yugyeom _no homo_ while fucking him into the mattress.

Not that Jinyoung wanted to imagine that. Oh god, he really did not want to imagine that.

Thank god Mark was already asleep because he would probably throw Dong-min out of the team if he’d hear the way he spoke about Mark’s maknae.

Jinyoung furrowed his eyebrows. “Me and Yugyeom are together, if that’s what you’re asking. And although I can’t tell him who he can or can’t… bang, as you worded it, I’d really appreciate it if you’d lay off of my boyfriend unless he shows interest in you,” he said carefully, thinking about the best way to put it. Yugyeom was his boyfriend, fake but still a boyfriend, not his possession and he couldn’t just tell him what to do but at the same time he didn’t want to show Dong-min that he just doesn’t care what happened because that wasn’t true.

“Chill, dude, just asking. We’re teammates, yeah? I wouldn’t butt in,” Dong-min assured and it sounded sincere. The player got back in his seat and Jinyoung sighed, wiping his face. God, he was tired and annoyed now, just great. He was so going to wake up with a headache.

Suddenly Yugyeom pushed his seat back just enough to not crush Jinyoung’s knees and then he extended his hand in between the seats. The boy didn’t look back, didn’t even raise his head, just held his hand out for Jinyoung to take it. And Jinyoung knew Yugyeom has heard his talk with Dong-min. His gesture must’ve meant that Jinyoung said the right thing and it made him feel good, so he caught Yugyeom’s hand and held it tightly even as he closed his eyes and finally drifted off to sleep.

**− iv −**

When Yugyeom lamented about Jinyoung’s family, he wasn’t really that far off – there _was_ lots of relatives. Jinyoung himself had five siblings: four sisters and one brother. Ji-eun was twenty-four, then was Jinyoung, Jinsook was twenty, Min-jung was nineteen and the twins, Young-ran and Young-kuk, were fifteen. Jinsook was the closest to Jinyoung with her age, so despite the fact that she was more nosy than CSI agents, she was also the one Jinyoung got along with best. Though he had to admit that girl _was_ annoying.

“No, I will not let you speak to him,” he said, holding phone close to his ear with his arm while his hands were occupied with cutting vegetables for the dinner he was making for BamBam and Mark. Unfortunately it was his turn and they had almost nothing in the fridge so he needed to get creative. Kimchi seemed good enough, he knew his roommates would eat literally anything.

“But is he with you right now?” Jinsook asked and then Jinyoung could hear shouts from the twins because apparently they wanted to talk to him, too. That’s why Jinyoung hated when Jinsook called, it always turned into hours on the phone because all his siblings _and_ his parents wanted to butt in. Jinsook was taking a break from college due to the accident she had while skiing a few months ago and she went back home, probably helping with the wedding because when they were all little, Ji-eun promised Jinsook she’ll be able to plan her wedding in the future. And Jinsook was the kind of person who never forgot anything. “Shut up or I’ll confiscate the cosmetics. From the _both_ of you,” Jinsook hissed to the twins. They both shrieked and, judging by the loud footsteps, ran away downstairs.

Jinyoung smirked at that, this argument always worked with Young-ran and Young-kuk ever since they decided that they’ll be the make-up gurus of their family. Well, they were doing a pretty good job so far. “Yeah, but he’s studying. I’m not going to interrupt just because you want to squeal to him,” he answered, chancing a glance at the younger boy.

Yugyeom was sitting cross-legged on Jinyoung’s bed with earphones and a notebook in his lap, various books sprawled on one half of the bed and tissues covering the other half. He was biting the tip of his pencil, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Jinyoung could hear the music from his earphones even in the small kitchen connected to the room, he had no idea how Yugyeom could focus at all. He just came an hour ago without a warning or explanation and didn’t talk to Jinyoung ever since. Jinyoung didn’t even mind that much.

Jinsook whined to the phone. “But I haven’t talked to him for so long! I can’t believe you’ve waited four months before telling your favorite sister! Yugyeom-ah was always so sweet and he’s so hot now, I’ve stalked his Instagram.”

Well, Jinyoung was glad that Jinsook at least called it by its name. He rolled his eyes and threw the vegetables to the frying pan, taking the phone in one hand and a spatula in the other to mix the things on the pan. Jinyoung knew that Jinsook would find Yugyeom attractive now.

“It’s a shame they moved out, really. But I kind of get it, what with their parents and stuff,” Jinsook went on and Jinyoung’s focus suddenly was on her again. But before he could even ask anything, she changed the topic. “Anyways, Hyun-soo was asking about you,” she said and Jinyoung could _hear_ the smirk she had on her face just then.

He frowned, trying to give the name a face. “Hyun-soo?” he asked, prompting his sister to help him remember. It’s been quite a long time since he thought about anyone from his hometown that wasn’t family.

Suddenly Yugyeom appeared in Jinyoung’s peripheral vision. He opened the fridge and took out the orange juice, he looked like he was ready to drink from the box but then he touched his forehead with the back of a hand and frowned, moving his gaze towards Jinyoung who shot him a questioning look.

“Glasses?” Yugyeom muttered and Jinyoung took one from the shelf above the sink. Yugyeom smiled slightly, turning towards the counter. He looked so tired, Jinyoung felt kind of bad for him.

“Yeah, you know. The guy you had a crush on when you first discovered that vaginas are disgusting. Which I totally do not understand,” Jinsook sighed and Jinyoung almost dropped his phone. Yugyeom leaned against the counter and looked at him curiously, taking small sips of the juice.

“First of all, I do not think vaginas are disgusting just because I’m gay,” he pointed out. Yugyeom burst into laughter, covering his mouth with a hand when Jinyoung kicked at his ankle. “Second of all, what do you mean you don’t understand? Is there anything I should know about?” Jinyoung furrowed his eyebrows. He did know that Young-kuk was pansexual, the boy had called him crying two months ago because he didn’t know what to do with himself and he thought that since Jinyoung was the only openly not-straight person in their family, he can help. Jinyoung needed to take Young-kuk to Seoul for the weekend because the fifteen years old was a mess, but by now they sorted everything out and even though so far he only told Jinyoung and his twin sister, he seemed pretty comfortable with his sexuality. But Jinsook, on the other hand, never said a thing.

“That’s not a talk I want to have over the phone,” she muttered, suddenly sounding sheepish. This time it was Jinyoung who whined, it meant he would have to wait another week to get answers and he wasn’t that patient. “But you remember Hyun-soo? He’s a real cutie now and he wanted to know if you’ll be back anytime soon.”

“Yeah, I do remember him. I also remember that he laughed at me when I asked him out,” Jinyoung said bitterly. He was fifteen when he started to question his sexuality and Hyun-soo was the reason, Jinyoung just liked him _so_ much. When he was sure that it’s more than just friendliness, he tried to ask Hyun-soo out but the boy who was a year older than him only laughed in his face, outing Jinyoung to the whole school. The next two years after that were hell for Jinyoung, so he didn’t really care that Hyun-soo asked about him now even though apparently he wasn’t so straight himself.

Yugyeom seemed to stop for a moment, his head curiously tilted to one side and eyebrows raised. His gaze was intent on Jinyoung’s face but Jinyoung had no idea why.

“Why was he asking about me?” Jinyoung slowly stirred the vegetables, wondering if the dinner will be ready before Mark and BamBam are back from the gym. If not, they would whine for the next three years even though that had only happened one time.

This time it took Jinsook longer to answer and before that Jinyoung could hear doors slamming which meant she closed herself in the room she shared with Min-jung. “Hell if I know. Told him you’ve got yourself a hot boyfriend, he looked so disappointed. It was brilliant! Min-jung still wanted to deck him for what he did to you, though.”

“Good. Next time just let her. I don’t even know why I liked Hyun-soo. I mean, obviously he was cute, but ugh,” Jinyoung rolled his eyes, turning the oven off.

“You had a crush on him even before you knew what _gay_ means, no one blames you for your stupidity,” Jinsook laughed.

“Is that Jinyoungie? Gimme the phone!” Min-jung shouted and there was some commotion on the other side before Jinsook screeched, probably falling off the bed. “Hello, Youngie!” Min-jung chirped happily. She was the scary sister in their family, the one who could beat up any bullies and probably still did it for the twins. Even though Jinsook and Ji-eun were older, it was Min-jung who always acted like their mom. Damn, Jinyoung really missed her.

“Hello, MinMin. How are you? Wait, I’m going to put you on speaker because I’m kinda busy. Yugyeom is here, don’t be embarrassing,” Jinyoung warned, putting the phone on the counter and immediately moving towards the pan. He moved the vegetables to the big bowl and continued without worrying that he’ll drop the phone.

“Oh, hello, Yugyeom-ssi! It’s Min-jung.”

Yugyeom hopped on the counter, pushing hands under his thighs and swinging his long legs above the floor. “Hello, noona. Please, be embarrassing. I want to hear all the stories about Jinyoung,” the traitor said with a big smile on his face. Jinyoung shot him an annoyed glare but his sister only laughed loudly.

“Don’t worry, you’ll hear all about him when you come to the wedding. But you sound sick. Jinyoung, are you taking care of him?” she inquired, turning into her mom mode. Jinyoung sighed, squeezing the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, good luck with that. This brat is so stubborn I can’t even force him to swallow aspirin,” Jinyoung answered, this time earning an annoyed glare from Yugyeom.

“It’s just a mild cold. I should be fine before the wedding,” Yugyeom assured. Jinyoung really doubted that. If Yugyeom would continue the way he did so far, he would land in the hospital by the end of the next week.

Min-jung talked to them for about five more minutes and then Jinyoung said he really needs to go if he doesn’t want to fuck up his kimchi, so he told her to say _hi_ to the rest of the family and hung up, ignoring Jinsook’s protests in the background. They talked almost every day, it was impossible that she still had so much to say.

“Hyun-soo, huh?” Yugyeom asked after a moment. Jinyoung rolled his eyes and took a little bit of the dish to the spoon, walking closer to Yugyeom.

“Tell me if it tastes good,” he said, extending the spoon to Yugyeom’s mouth. It’s not like he wanted to shut him up. At least not entirely. Yugyeom chewed for a moment and then his eyes widened a little. “Too salty?” Jinyoung frowned, he was sure that he got the ingredients right this time.

“Holy shit, you can cook. I need to tell Youngjae-hyung that we don’t have to live off of take-outs,” the boy muttered with something close to amazement on his face. Jinyoung couldn’t believe that Yugyeom just complimented him, that had to be some kind of miracle. “It’s good. But who’s Hyun-soo?”

“An asshole from our hometown, you probably don’t know him. He’s older,” Jinyoung explained. Yugyeom was probably just starting middle school when Jinyoung had met Hyun-soo for what he was glad, Yugyeom would never let Jinyoung live this humiliation down. “I used to like him when my brain was damaged for a minute or two.”

“A minute or two?” Yugyeom mocked with a smirk. Jinyoung swatted at his knee and he realized that he’s still standing basically between Yugyeom’s legs, leaned against the counter. He was about to move back when Yugyeom’s fingers fisted in the front of Jinyoung’s t-shirt, keeping him in place. “Huh, is that how you felt in the café and with Dong-min?” he asked, eyes trained on what was printed on the black shirt; it just said STAR WARS. Yugyeom looked almost nervous and Jinyoung was taken aback, thinking about what Yugyeom could have meant.

Then it hit him and his face lit up. “Are you _jealous_?” he chuckled breathlessly, putting the spoon aside to catch Yugyeom’s chin and lift his head. The younger boy rolled his eyes, pushing at Jinyoung’s chest to make him step back.

It seemed so ridiculous; Jinyoung being jealous about _Yugyeom_ and Yugyeom being jealous about _him_ , but it was also… really fucking nice. Definitely. Which was insane because this was the boy Jinyoung was supposed to hate, except he didn’t. Not anymore. He knew that there definitely _was_ hatred between them at some point, maybe even not too long ago, but not anymore. Jinyoung started to come to terms with the fact that Jackson might have been right, as terrifying as it sounds–maybe it was sexual tension. Jinyoung undoubtedly felt something when he was this close to Yugyeom, it was just really hard to decipher it and get a hold of his own feelings.

So right now he just pushed himself back between Yugyeom’s legs and put his hands on the counter on both sides of Yugyeom’s thighs, looking up at the boy. “Yeah, that’s how I felt,” he admitted almost giddily. It was just really good to not be on the other end for once, Jinyoung took weird pleasure out of it.

There was something different about Yugyeom right now, he didn’t seem as cocky and confident as usually, his eyebrows were furrowed as if he was trying to figure something out. His hand slowly rose to rest at the back of Jinyoung’s neck, Yugyeom’s long fingers brushed the short hair and Jinyoung almost instinctively moved a little bit closer, eyes still stuck on Yugyeom’s dark ones. Their noses brushed and Jinyoung’s heart skipped a bit, breath hitching in his throat. Yugyeom was clearly waiting, maybe wanting to see how far Jinyoung could take this; almost as if it was a game between them.

And Jinyoung didn’t like to lose.

Yugyeom’s hand was still caressing his skin. Jinyoung wanted to close the short distance between them, just to see how Yugyeom would react. Just to see how it would feel, how it felt during the party. Because right now he would remember it the next day. But just then the doors to the dorm opened and Jinyoung almost fell to the floor in his haste to get away from Yugyeom. He turned towards the food and pretended to stir something while Mark and BamBam walked in, greeting both him and Yugyeom. Jinyoung’s cheeks were burning.

“Are you staying for dinner, Yugyeomie?” BamBam asked, flopping down on his bed.

Yugyeom hopped off the counter, clearing his throat before answering. “No, I still need to revise for English so I’ll be going,” he said with a shrug, moving towards Jinyoung’s bed to gather his things and throw the tissues to the trashcan. “Bye, hyungs. Bye, boyfriend!” Yugyeom added sweetly, swinging the bag over his arm and waving to Jinyoung with a smirk on his face.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, ignoring BamBam and Mark who were sending him funny looks. Yugyeom slammed the doors on his way out and just then Jinyoung was able to breathe properly again. Holy shit, this was getting out of hand. He shouldn’t be attracted to his fake boyfriend, that’s the whole point of it all being fake, for god’s sake.

Jinyoung dragged a hand down his face and sighed.

But he had to admit that jealousy was a good look on Yugyeom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know shit all about honorifics and korean food so if you know more about it and see any mistakes, let me know! i check it, obviously, but there aren't always accurate things on the internet so ,,,  
> i love yugyeom so much :')  
> that's all, bye!!


	4. “how many damn jobs can one person have” (ft. Kim Yugyeom)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: violence, brief description of panic attack  
> im so sorry

**f o u r**

**“how many damn jobs can one person have”  
(ft. Kim Yugyeom)**

**− i –**

Yugyeom was running late again.

Thursdays and Fridays were always the worst because he either had two shifts in different jobs right after each other or he had about fifteen minutes to get from the café to the clinic even though the metro took thirteen minutes, leaving him two for crossing three streets and getting to the fourth floor. Yugyeom had to move his appointment from Friday to Thursday because his boss asked him to take an extra shift tomorrow; fortunately Yugyeom’s therapist had a free hour at two pm. The boy skipped his last lecture of the day to make it and was currently impatiently looking at the numbers in the elevator—three slowly changing to four.

The doors barely opened, Yugyeom was already sliding in between them and running through white hallways to stop in front of the last doors with a squeak of his shoes. He took a deep breath and knocked, waiting for the voice from the inside.

“Come in!” a man called. Yugyeom pushed the doors opened and entered the office, quickly taking a seat on a black couch as far away from the desk as possible. His therapist, Kim Seokjin, was sitting behind his desk with a nice smile on his face; an expression that seemed to be permanently etched there. Yugyeom had met him almost two years ago after switching from his previous doctor and ever since that time he had never seen Seokjin being anything but kind; he never got annoyed even though Yugyeom didn’t even want to talk to him for the first two months, he never got mad or upset with Yugyeom’s unwillingness to cooperate. He was just always nice and patient, it tended to annoy Yugyeom at times because he knew he didn’t deserve to be treated that way. He was awful when it came to appointments. “I’m really glad you could make it, Yugyeom-ssi.”

“Yeah, uh, sorry I’m late,” Yugyeom muttered, putting the bag on the floor next to the couch. As always, he let his eyes travel around the office even though he had seen this place hundreds of times before. Walls were simply white, windows were sheltered with bright yellow curtains, there wasn’t anything personal in this room; only certificates hang up on the wall, a painting with the view of some sea, a shelf with scientific books. Yugyeom usually kept his eyes trained on the painting, he loved water and it calmed him down when the talks with doctor Seokjin went to dangerous territories.

“Don’t worry about it, we still have almost fifty minutes left,” Seokjin noticed, leaning a little forwards. He never asked Yugyeom to sit closer, he knew it would make the boy uncomfortable and that probably wasn’t his intention. “How are you feeling today?”

Yugyeom shrugged, playing with his fingers. “It’s about a six, I’d say,” he muttered finally. It was a thing he did with both his therapists, they would ask him how he was feeling and he’d answer with a number from one to ten, where one meant _I might actually jump out of that window_ _any second_ and ten meant _I’m finally good_. He had never answered with a ten, but then again—he had never answered with one either so he guessed it’s not the worst.

Seokjin nodded, writing something down in a small notebook. “That’s not so bad, Yugyeom-ssi. Last week we were talking about your mother right before our session ended. Maybe you want to tell me how she’s been feeling lately?”

Yugyeom moved uncomfortably, stalling with his answer. He really didn’t like to talk about his family during those appointments, even though it was the reason he was here in the first place. He just needed to survive two more years and when he’s twenty-one, he’ll be able to quit therapy. He hoped he would slide through those six years without mentioning anything related to his mother but unfortunately it seemed impossible. Yugyeom was just fifteen when he started going to those appointments, at first he would spend them in complete silence but when his sister said that they might prescribe him medication (which they did anyway) or even take him to a special hospital, he started to talk about pointless things, just to fill the time. It worked until his first therapist started to ask about his parents more. Yugyeom honestly hated every second of it and it’s not like talking helped him at all, everything was just the way it was four years ago.

“She’s… the same, I guess. I mean, nothing’s changed, you know? She’s not worse but she’s not… she’s not better either,” he said quietly, frowning. “Yun-hee-noona said she visited her three days ago and mom didn’t even react. Which is a good thing, actually, because it means she’s not getting worse,” Yugyeom added quickly, chancing a glance at the man sitting across from him. Seokjin slightly nodded, encouraging Yugyeom to continue. “Last time I went to visit her she didn’t recognize me,” his voice wavered a little and Yugyeom felt a sting behind his eyes. He squeezed the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I don’t—Can we talk about something else?”

“Of course we can,” Seokjin assured gently. “But you’re doing really great, Yugyeom-ssi. Tell me, how’s your sleeping schedule?” the man asked with something close to amusement in his voice. Yugyeom scowled, he hated when doctor Kim did that. He usually didn’t even need to say anything in particular, he just had a way of making Yugyeom feel like shit about not treating his own mental health seriously.

“Oh, man. You just had to ask,” Yugyeom muttered, making Seokjin chuckle.

Yugyeom slid further down on the couch and took a deep breath. This was going to be long fifty minutes.

**− ii –**

“Oi, Jinyoung-ah, where’s Yugyeom?” Jaebum asked, walking back into the common room with a bowl of popcorn in his hands. He flopped down on one of the couches next to Youngjae, passing the bowl to Mark.

“Why are you asking me?” Jinyoung raised his head from the phone, looking to Jaebum from his bean bag he sank into. Some students from the third year said they had the new _Spiderman_ movie so most of the people from the third floor crammed in the common room; they were sitting on the couches, bean bags, even blankets on the floor. Jinyoung came only because BamBam was obsessed with Marvel and Youngjae thought the kid who plays Spiderman is cute. To be honest Jinyoung only cared about Zendaya.

“Because he’s your boyfriend, you tool,” Jaebum said, kicking at Jinyoung’s bean bag.

“You do realize he’s actually not, right?” Jinyoung asked curiously, to what Jaebum only smirked and shrugged innocently. Jinyoung was friends with idiots. “And I… Huh, I have no idea where he is. He was supposed to finish his shift at seven,” he said, looking at the clock on his phone; almost ten. Well, if he didn’t notice that his boyfriend was three hours late then he was doing a shitty job at this whole dating thing.

Youngjae yawned and leaned his head against Jaebum’s shoulder. “He’s still working. Another job,” he informed them with eyes stuck to the projector on the wall.

“Wait,” Jackson frowned, leaning over Mark to look at Youngjae. “How many damn jobs does he have?” his voice sounded annoyed but brows were furrowed in worry. Jinyoung remembered how Mark and BamBam said that Jackson was the one who talked to Yugyeom the last time he started to overwork himself; maybe he was thinking if he should do it again.

“Um… Three or four? I don’t really know, it depends on whether he’s needed or not,” Youngjae said quietly, not wanting to interrupt other students who were still watching. Most of them fell asleep, anyway.

“I’m going to kick his sorry ass,” Jackson muttered with frustration.

Jinyoung, who had never worked in his life, couldn’t understand how Yugyeom managed to keep three jobs, attend dance practices, and still pass his exams. He had partial scholarship and was at an accelerated track which meant his grades were above average, Yugyeom was either brilliant or really fucking stupid to risk his health like that. Jinyoung knew he had no right to get mad at Yugyeom because the boy was right when he said that Jinyoung didn’t know what it’s like to worry about money, but he still didn’t think it’s worth it.

Just when they finished talking about him, Yugyeom appeared in the common room, dragging one feet after the other. Jinyoung briefly noticed that the buttons of Yugyeom’s shirt were messed up and his jacket was put on carelessly, one arm sliding off his shoulder. The boy didn’t notice his friends, he was rubbing his eye with a fist, yawning as he made his way towards the dorms. He stumbled over someone’s legs, muttered a quiet apology and disappeared before anyone had the chance to react. Jinyoung looked back at the couch; Youngjae already fell asleep and didn’t see Yugyeom, otherwise he would undoubtedly follow his best friend. Jackson seemed ready to kill Yugyeom at spot but before he could get up, Jinyoung scrambled out from the bean bag.

“I’ll check up on him, it’s too late for your lecture,” he said to Jackson who only pursed his lips and fell back next to Mark who put a comforting hand on his arm.

Jinyoung sighed, carefully stepping over the sleeping students on the floor and a few minutes later he entered the dorm Youngjae and Yugyeom shared. Yugyeom didn’t even change clothes, he was lying  down on his bed with the jacket still on, face turned towards the wall.

“Yugyeom-ah?” Jinyoung asked quietly, closing the doors behind him. It cut the only source of light and the room was dark now. Jinyoung carefully scooted to Yugyeom’s bed, sat on the edge and put a tentative hand on Yugyeom’s back. He frowned, feeling the movement under his palm. “Yugyeom, you’re shaking.”

Yugyeom cleared his throat. “’M just really, really tired,” he muttered, dragging his knees up to make himself as small as possible. Jinyoung didn’t know what to do, it was obvious Yugyeom isn’t okay, he was far from that but Jinyoung had never seen him like that before. “Go away, please,” the boy added after a moment, voice barely above a whisper. It was then that it hit Jinyoung; Yugyeom was crying. He was crying and didn’t want Jinyoung to see because he was scared that Jinyoung will laugh or tell everyone.

Jinyoung really was an asshole to him before, huh.

“I’m not leaving you alone,” Jinyoung decided, slowly moving his hand up and down Yugyeom’s back. “Come on, you’re no use to me if you get sick just before the wedding,” he joked, hoping to ease the tension between them even if only a little.

Yugyeom choked out a laugh, turning around so he was lying on his back. It was too dark for Jinyoung to see his face, but at least the shivers seemed to slowly stop under Jinyoung’s hand that was now on Yugyeom’s stomach. “If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you,” Yugyeom stated. His cold fingers brushed the back of Jinyoung’s hand, drawing small circles on his skin.

“I’m already terrified,” Jinyoung mocked, turning his hand around so he could intertwine his fingers with Yugyeom’s. The boy gently tugged at Jinyoung’s palm and Jinyoung frowned, stopping his movements for a moment before Yugyeom tugged one more time, clearly wanting Jinyoung to lie down beside him. Jinyoung hesitated for a few seconds before kicking his shoes off and getting to bed next to Yugyeom, their arms squeezed together. “How was work?” he asked some time later, trying to fill in the awkward silence. It wasn’t something usual for them, being so close to each other. Especially in bed. In a dark room. It seemed strangely intimate and Jinyoung didn’t really know what to do with himself. Yugyeom was obviously upset and needed comfort, Jinyoung was the closest person right now to provide just that. The problem was, Jinyoung had no idea how.

“Oh, the royalty knows something like that exists?” Yugyeom asked with fake surprise. Jinyoung shoved him hardly, making Yugyeom laugh quietly. “Work like work, wasn’t good, wasn’t bad. I have another two shifts tomorrow,” he added, sounding resigned.

Jinyoung was quiet for a moment, giving Yugyeom some time. “Alright, and now tell me how it really was,” he said quietly, eyes stuck on the ceiling. He was adjusting to the darkness and from the corner of his eye he could already make out Yugyeom’s profile.

The boy threw an arm over his face, taking a shuddering breath in. “I hate it so much,” he admitted, voice breaking so suddenly that it surprised Jinyoung who turned to his side and leaned on an elbow to look down at Yugyeom. “I hate my boss, I hate his son, I hate rude customers. One guy poured his coffee on me because the dish was too salty. I didn’t cook it! I’m just a waiter, I’m trying my best. I hate this job,” Yugyeom whispered, covering his mouth to muffle a sob.

Jinyoung felt as if someone just punched him in the chest. This was an entirely new situation for him, Yugyeom had always been the sarcastic kid who got on his nerves, always with a smirk on his face. In the fourteen years of knowing him, Jinyoung had seen him crying only once before – on the day they’ve met as kids. Yugyeom wasn’t weak but he wasn’t indestructible either, he was only a nineteen years old student trying to make it day by day.

“Why won’t you quit?” Jinyoung asked gently, not wanting to start a fight with Yugyeom that would end just like the last time Jinyoung suggested taking a day off.

“I can’t. I really can’t,” came the quiet reply. “Shit,” Yugyeom cursed, frantically wiping the tears from his face. But it only seemed to make everything worse, his sobs became a little louder.

“Hey, it’s alright.” Jinyoung caught Yugyeom’s wrists to move his hands away. “It’s alright, just breathe,” he said calmly. It was an instinct, Jinyoung leaned forward and pressed his lips to Yugyeom’s warm forehead, hearing his sharp intake of oxygen. “Everything’s going to be okay,” he assured the boy, lying back on his side. Jinyoung wrapped an arm around Yugyeom, tugging him closer to his chest to hug him. He often did it when his younger siblings were upset, he hoped it could help Yugyeom, too.

Yugyeom buried his face in Jinyoung’s shirt, still shaking from crying. Jinyoung started to thread his fingers through Yugyeom’s wavy hair, muttering comforting words into the top of his head until Yugyeom finally fell asleep, exhausted from everything that happened that day.

Jinyoung stayed with him for the whole night but he didn’t get any sleep himself, too terrified by a thought that came to him unexpected.

He really cared about Yugyeom, that one wasn’t fake. And it was scary.

**− iii −**

“Table fourteen ready!”

Yugyeom quickly took the two plates and rushed to the other end of the room. Jinyoung watched as the young waiter moves between the tables full of chatting people. It was already nine in the evening but the diner was still buzzing with life, new customers were walking through the doors and the staff barely had time for anything. As soon as Yugyeom served the dish, he started to make another round with refills of coffee, stopping for a moment by Jinyoung’s table.

“You don’t have to wait for another hour,” the boy said, filling Jinyoung’s cup with hot beverage. Jinyoung didn’t really think it’s a good idea to drink that much coffee so late but he had already finished his dinner and he couldn’t stay at the table without at least drinking something.

“It’s not like I have anything better to do,” Jinyoung shrugged, looking over at the second waiter who kept glancing towards Yugyeom with a frown. “What’s this guy’s problem?” he asked, discreetly nodding for Yugyeom to look over his shoulder.

But Yugyeom, being the idiot that he was, unceremoniously turned his head around without even trying to be subtle and the second waiter quickly averted his gaze. “Uh, that’s the owner’s son. Remember how I told you I’ve had one boyfriend? Well, that’s the guy, Baekyol,” Yugyeom explained with disdain. He didn’t have time to chat because the next orders were ready and Yugyeom walked off to help Baekyol.

Jinyoung looked towards the second waiter with raised eyebrows; he looked much older than Yugyeom, at least twenty-five, his hair was dyed bright orange and he was taller even than Yugyeom. Jinyoung would never say that this might be Yugyeom’s type, Baekyol looked like he could break Yugyeom in two. It was clear that these two weren’t getting along anymore, Baekyol kept yelling at Yugyeom to move faster and stop being lazy, even though Yugyeom was the one who did most of the job—Jinyoung guessed that since his father owns the diner, Baekyol thought it makes him a boss, too.

Yugyeom took another plate and passed Baekyol, trying to get to the right table but suddenly he stumbled and the plate landed on a client. The woman squealed surprised, looking down at the spaghetti on her shirt. Yugyeom was tired but he hasn’t stumbled even once during his shift before, that and Baekyol’s smirk was enough to tell Jinyoung exactly what had happened. Yugyeom shot Baekyol a shocked glare, like he couldn’t believe that the older man would actually do something so childish, but then Yugyeom immediately turned towards the client and bowed deeply.

“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” he said sincerely and Jinyoung could see that his hands were shaking. “I really didn’t mean to do that, I’m so sorry.”

The woman handed him the plate back and smiled slightly. “Oh, sometimes it happens. It’s not really—” she started kindly but was interrupted by a heavyset man that almost shot out of the kitchen. He was short but barely squeezed himself out from behind the counter, bumping into chairs in his haste to get to Yugyeom and the woman.

“What have you done?!” he yelled at Yugyeom. It must have been the owner, his face was getting red from anger and Baekyol just kept grinning like an idiot. Jinyoung suddenly wanted to break his nose. “You imbecile! I’m so sorry,” the man added towards the shocked woman who kept trying to say that it was okay, nothing big happened. “Why can’t you do anything right?”

Yugyeom nervously looked around the diner, all clients were quiet now and their eyes were stuck at the scene the owner was causing. When Yugyeom stopped at Jinyoung for a moment, he seemed helpless. “I… I didn’t—It was…” he mumbled, trying to point at Baekyol. Then his hand faltered because he must have realized that the owner wouldn’t believe him anyway, Baekyol was his son, after all.

“You didn’t what?” the owner mocked, delivering a slap to Yugyeom’s cheek with the back of his hand. Even Baekyol looked shocked at his father’s actions, the woman whose shirt got dirty caught the man’s wrist and begged him to stop.

Jinyoung was out of his seat in a flash, stumbling over the chairs and finally getting in between Yugyeom and the owner. “That’s enough,” he said, barely keeping his anger in check. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Yugyeom’s voice broke when he said he hated this job, now it all made sense. Jinyoung had no idea what could possibly force Yugyeom to keep working here even when he was treated that way.

“Jinyoung, please…” Yugyeom whispered, catching Jinyoung’s sleeve. But Jinyoung stood his ground.

“It was your fucking son, alright? He tripped Yugyeom, Yugyeom did nothing wrong and you had no right to raise your hand at him,” he continued, looking down at the short man.

The owner gaped at him like a fish before finally finding his voice again. “You… Get out of my diner! You’re not working here anymore!” he yelled at Yugyeom, pushing Jinyoung back.

Yugyeom looked too shocked to even move, his right cheek was red from the slap just above the ugly bruise he undoubtedly earned here, too. Jinyoung caught Yugyeom’s hand and dragged him out of the place, not bothering to give the apron back. He opened the doors to his car for Yugyeom to get in and then he got behind the wheel, driving away as fast as he could without causing an accident. They were both quiet the whole way, Yugyeom looking straight ahead with an indifferent expression, Jinyoung squeezing the wheel so tight his knuckles turned white. He thought about his life from just a week ago; he had no idea what Yugyeom was going through and if he didn’t need Yugyeom’s help, he probably would never find out. It made him feel sick.

Jinyoung had about two seconds to park the car before Yugyeom was out and moving towards the dorms. Jinyoung blinked surprised, pocketing the keys and running after the younger boy who was very clearly ignoring him.

“Yugyeom-ssi, will you at least talk to me?” he asked with disbelief. Was Yugyeom seriously mad at him for intervening? It was ridiculous! “Hey! Answer me, you asshole!” Jinyoung pushed the doors to Yugyeom’s room before the boy could close it and got in behind him. Youngjae wasn’t here yet so Jinyoung hit the lights on.

Yugyeom threw his apron to the floor and turned to face Jinyoung. “You had no fucking right to do that,” he hissed, pointing a finger at Jinyoung’s chest. The older boy opened his eyes wider, trying to come up with anything to say but he was speechless. “I lost my job because of you!”

“You lost your job because your boss is an abusive fuck who treated you like shit!” Jinyoung answered, swatting Yugyeom’s hand away. Yugyeom tugged at his hair, walking around in the middle of the room. His breath was rapid and Jinyoung knew that Yugyeom’s temper was rising which was never a good thing.

“Everyone treats me like shit, Jinyoung! The difference is that he was _paying_ me for that,” Yugyeom said desperately. He sounded like he actually believed in it, like he believed that he deserves to be treated like that as long as he’s getting paid for his job. Jinyoung knew that he never did anything to convince Yugyeom that everyone deserves better than what he was getting, Jinyoung was awful to him and probably made him feel like crap as many times as Yugyeom did it to him but it still shocked him to see what kind of humiliation Yugyeom would stand just to get money. He remembered what Youngjae had told him, Yugyeom needed this money for something and it must have been very important, but there were better ways, for god’s sake.

“Has this ever happened before? Did he hit you before?” Jinyoung asked in a stern voice, trying with all the self-control he had to not let his anger get the better of him. They wouldn’t get anywhere with this if they’d just keep screaming at each other.

“No,” Yugyeom replied immediately with a defiant look on his face. “No. And it’s not your business either way.”

“Not my—” Jinyoung laughed with disbelief. “Are you fucking serious, Yugyeom? You let him hit you so long as he’s paying for that? What else are you doing for money?” he asked. He didn’t mean for it to sound so judgmental because he really wasn’t the kind of person who judged others because of their job, but fuck. Jinyoung was pissed and he was never able to think straight in such state, his mouth opened before he could actually analyze his next statement. “It’s no wonder that your boss doesn’t respect you if you don’t know how to respect yourself,” he said quietly. Because Jinyoung was petty like that, it was one of his many flaws and Yugyeom could bring it out in him like no one else.

He didn’t even have time to blink before a punch landed square on his cheek, making him stumble back with wide eyes.

“You’re a fucking asshole. You don’t get to judge me since you agreed to pay me as well. How are you any better than my boss?” Yugyeom breathed out, holding his fist. His knuckles were bloody and Jinyoung could taste blood in his mouth, too.

The next thing he knew, Jinyoung was moving, pushing Yugyeom so hard that they both fell to the floor with a loud noise. Jinyoung was on top of Yugyeom and he got the younger boy in the nose before Yugyeom had the chance to push him off. Yugyeom tried to reach his face but Jinyoung twisted his wrist as hard as he could, dragging an angry scream out of Yugyeom. Neither of them thought much about what they were doing, they just wanted to hurt each other—they always did that with words before but now it didn’t seem enough.

Suddenly someone was screaming and Jinyoung felt a hand on his arm, trying to drag him back. It seemed to wake him up, he realized what he was doing and quickly stumbled back himself, looking at the bloody mess on the floor that was Yugyeom.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” It was Youngjae, pushing Jinyoung away as hard as he could and running to Yugyeom to help him stand. Blood was dripping from Yugyeom’s nose and eyebrow, the boy was clutching his right wrist close to his chest, taking in wheezing breaths as he looked at Jinyoung with pure hatred on his face.

Jinyoung knew that he probably doesn’t look any better but it still didn’t excuse what he did to Yugyeom. “I’m—” he started, wincing when a sharp ting of pain shot through his jaw.

“Get out!” Youngjae interrupted, looking close to tears. He was standing in front of Yugyeom as if he was scared that Jinyoung will attack him again and it broke Jinyoung’s heart. He simply nodded and took a step back with eyes still on Yugyeom.

He hoped that the younger boy could see how sorry Jinyoung was. For everything.

**− iv −**

Youngjae took a deep breath, watching as the doors closed behind Jinyoung. Then he heard a commotion behind him and turned around to see Yugyeom on the floor with his back rested against the bed. Yugyeom’s previously determined expression crumbled and in its place came tears that mixed with the blood on his face.

“Oh. Oh, honey,” Youngjae whispered, quickly getting a towel and putting it under cold water for a moment. He ran back to his best friend and fell to his knees next to him, gently tapping the hurt areas to get the blood off.

He couldn’t believe it when he first walked into the room. He knew that Jinyoung and Yugyeom had a lot of things to work through but they seemed to do so much better for the last week. Ever since Jinyoung asked Yugyeom for a favor, they were spending a lot of time together and they seemed to actually have fun, Yugyeom was able to talk about Jinyoung without disdain in his voice, they were even smiling around each other. All their friends thought that the fake dating thing might be what finally turns their relationship around; but turned out it only made everything worse. They’ve never raised their hands at each other before (except for that one time when Jinyoung tried to smolder Yugyeom with a pillow, but Youngjae was sure he wouldn’t actually do that) and now they were both a mess.

Yugyeom choked out a sob, still holding his wrist close to his chest. Youngjae had no idea which injuries to take care of first but then his attention was brought to the fact that Yugyeom had breathing troubles, he was crying so hard almost as if his heart was shattering and Youngjae felt tears in his own eyes. He was the only one who knew how often Yugyeom cried at nights when he thought he won’t be able to get up the next day because he was so tired after work and so unmotivated to keep doing it. Youngjae was the only one who knew how messed up Yugyeom’s life was and how much it cost the young boy to act like everything’s alright in front of his friends.

“Yugyeom, baby, I need you to breathe,” Youngjae murmured, moving so he was in front of Yugyeom. The boy’s dark eyes were wide as he shook his head.

“I–I can’t,” Yugyeom said, sounding scared. Youngjae had seen him having a panic attack twice before, each time after the boy had visited his mother, and he knew that it was exactly the same as right now. He hated Jinyoung for the state Yugyeom was in now even though he knew that the fight was probably the fault of them both in equal parts.

“Yes, yes you can,” Youngjae assured his best friend, reaching for the inhaler he always had in the drawer beside his bed. He shook it a few times and gently held Yugyeom’s chin, pushing the tip of his inhaler to the boy’s mouth. Youngjae clicked and Yugyeom sucked in the oxygen, closing his eyes for a moment from relief. “Better?” he asked quietly, softly pushing the hair from Yugyeom’s forehead.

“Better,” Yugyeom mumbled. “I think he broke my wrist,” he added after a moment, looking down at his right hand.

Youngjae frowned, finishing wiping Yugyeom’s face with the towel. “What happened? You two never fought before. Not like that,” he corrected himself, getting the first aid kit. Fortunately Yugyeom’s nose wasn’t broken and it stopped bleeding pretty quickly, Youngjae only had to put a band aid on his eyebrow and take care of the wrist that already started to swell. Maybe it wasn’t broken but sprained for sure.

“I lost my job,” Yugyeom informed him, flinching when Youngjae put the linear under his hurt hand. It reached from the tip of Yugyeom’s middle finger to his wrist, Youngjae started to tightly bandage the whole hand to prevent Yugyeom from moving it too much. “Jinyoung was there and… I—It wasn’t his fault. It’s all _my_ fault,” he muttered barely above a whisper, eyes stuck on the white bandage.

Youngjae finished and flopped to the floor next to his best friend, letting Yugyeom’s head fall to his shoulder. “I’m sure it’s not, you’re always so hard on yourself. You should think about yourself more, honey.”

“But I—”

“How much is your heartbreak worth?” Youngjae interrupted gently, feeling the way Yugyeom’s body stiffened next to him. It only made Youngjae more sure that he was right in his observations. “Eight hundred thousands won?”

This quickly shut Yugyeom up as he perfectly understood Youngjae’s implications.

“I have it under control,” Yugyeom whispered some time later but he sounded like he wanted to convince himself, not Youngjae.

**− v −**

Yugyeom didn’t even think about cancelling the plans he had with his older sister and now he deeply regretted it. Yun-hee was looking at him as if his injuries physically hurt her, too, and he had spent almost fifteen minutes on the train station, convincing her that they absolutely do not need to go to the hospital because he was fine. She didn’t believe him, of course she didn’t—his face was all bruised and wrist bandaged, he looked like he just walked out of the boxing ring, but finally Yugyeom was able to get her into his car and drive back to the dorms. Youngjae was staying with Jaebum and Jackson for the night so Yugyeom could spend time with his sister alone.

“At least tell me who did this to you,” Yun-hee pleaded. She was sitting on Yugyeom’s bed while the boy stacked the small fridge with alcohol bottles they’ve bought on their way back. Yun-hee’s plan was probably to get him shitfaced and make him spill all his dark secrets from being alone in the capitol.

“I told you I don’t know, noona. It was dark,” he lied again, killing the stab of guilt in his chest. He really hated lying to her, he knew she’s just concerned and she was the last person he had, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her about Jinyoung. Yugyeom knew that Jinyoung probably looks the same, so it’s not like Yugyeom was innocent, but Yun-hee would want to kill Jinyoung anyway and he didn’t deserve it. Yugyeom was just an idiot. “Can we forget about it for a moment? I haven’t seen you in two months and I’m really fine, it doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

The girl shot him an unimpressed glare. “At least keep the bullshit to yourself, Yugyeomie. You’re flinching when the wind blows in your face and you can barely move your right arm. It’s my fault, I knew I shouldn’t have let you live here alone,” Yun-hee stated, nodding her head to emphasize those words.

Yugyeom walked over and sat next to her, looking into her dark eyes so similar to his own. She was only six years older than him but looked like she’s at least in her thirties and Yugyeom knew it’s his fault. She needed to take care of him since he was fifteen and she was constantly worried, it made small wrinkles appear on her forehead. Yun-hee could be annoying, overprotective, invasive and rude but each time Yugyeom looked at her, it hit him how much he loves her. He probably wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for her so to see his big sister blaming herself for anything that was Yugyeom’s fault only made him feel really bad.

“Please, don’t say that. You trusted me enough to let me come here and if I disappointed you, it’s not your fault, noona.”

Yun-hee quickly shook her head, turning more towards him. “Of course you haven’t disappointed me, you dumbass! You have no idea how proud of you I am. You’re at one of the best universities, you have a job, you’re making it in Seoul, that’s so big!” she assured him quickly, gently putting a hand to his cheek—the one without any bruises. He still hasn’t told her about getting kicked out of the diner; he still had a job at the café but he knew the salary won’t be enough to help her. But it was Yugyeom’s problem, he would figure something out. “I was always scared that you’ll get stuck in our hometown for the rest of your life but you’re here and you’re still alive. That’s enough.”

Yugyeom blinked quickly to push the tears away; he was honestly too emotional those last few weeks. “I think I really need a drink if you’re going to be so cheesy.”

“Oh, shut up!” Yun-hee laughed, lightly slapping his arm.

It wasn’t until three or four drinks later that Yun-hee finally remembered Jinyoung.

“Wasn’t he supposed to be here today?” she asked, lying on the bed with her head hanging off of it.

Yugyeom shrugged slightly. “We’ve had a… difference of opinions last night,” he answered carefully, wondering where Jinyoung was right now and how he felt. Yugyeom quickly threw those thoughts out of his head, it wasn’t his business and he shouldn’t care so much. He took a large sip of his beer, wincing at the sour taste. Yugyeom knew alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good, it’s just supposed to make you feel nothing, but _damn_. He should have chosen something better flavored.

Yun-hee sat up with a frown. “Did _he_ do it to you?” she asked, voice dangerously low. Yugyeom could kind of understand why Jinyoung was so afraid of her. She certainly could put the fear of god into men, especially since she was happily gay herself.

“No!” Yugyeom responded too quickly, making her raise her eyebrows. “Of course not, noona. I’ve told you after Baekyol that this wouldn’t happen again,” he added, trying to convince her. It was different with Jinyoung, Yugyeom was the one who started it and he knew damn well how Jinyoung acted when he was provoked. That’s mainly the reason Yugyeom punched him first, he wanted to get a reaction out of Jinyoung. He didn’t want pity because he wasn’t used to seeing it from Jinyoung. It probably wasn’t healthy but whatever.

“You deserve so much better,” Yun-hee sighed, finishing her beer and putting the bottle next to the bed.

Yugyeom swiftly changed the topic and they kept drinking, avoiding anything that could make them upset or uncomfortable. They just wanted one peaceful weekend when they wouldn’t have to worry about anything; their parents, money, school. Yugyeom knew that Yun-hee would love to get a degree, too, but she didn’t have time or resources to do so and it always made Yugyeom feel like shit. He was studying and she couldn’t, it was unfair but in their life rarely anything was. Yugyeom doubted that the universe had anything good for him in the store, he at least wished that his sister could do something with her life. He wished she could leave their hometown without having to look back. Maybe it would be selfish to their mother but they’ve suffered so much already, Yun-hee gave up almost everything for mom and Yugyeom. How could they ask for anything more?

Yugyeom was drunk a few hours later, sitting with his back pressed to the bed while his sister kept rambling about some TV show she’s been watching lately. He stirred the beer in a bottle, it numbed the pain he felt in his right arm. His thoughts kept swimming to Jinyoung; he wanted to text him and ask if he’s okay—that’s why sober Yugyeom hid the phone and drunk Yugyeom had no idea where it is.

 _It’s no wonder that your boss doesn’t respect you if you don’t know how to respect yourself._ Yugyeom snorted at the memory. Jinyoung didn’t know shit, his family was rich and once Jinyoung is done with university, he would be rich too. Yugyeom didn’t have the luxury of respecting himself if he wanted to make it to another day, what could a snob like Jinyoung understand? Nothing, that’s what.

“He’s so fucking stupid,” he muttered, interrupting his sister in the middle of a sentence. She rolled over on her stomach and looked at him surprised. “He thinks he knows everything.”

“What are you on about?” Yun-hee asked, ruffling his hair.

Yugyeom ignored her, thinking about all the things he did with Jinyoung. He thought about holding his hand and how jealous Jinyoung was about Dong-min; but he still said that Yugyeom is allowed to do whatever he wants. He thought about how Jinyoung held him when he was crying, how he was able to make Yugyeom feel better just by being next to him and how weird it was because Yugyeom was sure that he hated everything about Jinyoung from the very first day they’ve met when Jinyoung didn’t let him play with the monster truck. Yugyeom went back to all the snarky comments from Jinyoung that always hurt—hurt so much not because of _what_ they were about but _who_ said them, making Yugyeom feel the need to just hurt back. Jinyoung never looked at him like he was anyone but a stupid kid. And now he was acting like Yugyeom’s boyfriend; he was considerate, nice, protective. It was messing with Yugyeom’s head even though he knew it’s all fake.

“I think I’m really in love with him,” he mumbled with a frown, feeling how his heart squeezed as soon as he said it out loud. “And I think I’ve always been.”

Yun-hee sat up and scooted closer with a dumb smile on her face. “Are you talkin’ about Jinyoung? You’ve been dating for four months, kid, I’d sure as hell think you’re in love with him,” she laughed.

“No, no. You don’t understand,” Yugyeom said panicked, knocking the beer bottle over and spilling the rest on the carpet. This couldn’t be true, he couldn’t actually be in love with his fake boyfriend. With Jinyoung, out of all people.

“Oh, baby. Couples fight all the time, I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” she answered, because she didn’t know. Yugyeom couldn’t tell her the truth and she couldn’t help. “I know love is scary,” Yun-hee added, gentler this time. She was drunk, too, but she still could see when there was something wrong with him. “You haven’t told him yet, have you? That you love him.”

Yugyeom numbly shook his head, wide eyes stuck to the wall in front of him. This wasn’t happening. If he only ignores it long enough, all those feelings will go away. They had to.

“You should tell him. If he loves you back, that’s amazing. But if he doesn’t, he’s not worth your time,” she informed him, kissing the top of his head and falling back down on the bed with a loud sigh. “My baby brother is in love, I feel so old.”

“Shut up,” he murmured, making her laugh loudly.

He needed to tell Jinyoung that he can’t help him with the wedding. He couldn’t keep doing this because it would start to feel too real and Yugyeom wasn’t stupid. This would never be anything more than a fake relationship created to fool Jinyoung’s family and it was all it’s supposed to be.

Yugyeom wasn’t in love with Jinyoung.

He couldn’t be because Jinyoung would never feel the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *logs out*


	5. “how to cross the fake line without noticing” (ft. Park Jinyoung)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay! i've had some troubles with the internet and i hate doing anything on ao3 with my phone so this chapter is a bit late. but i hope the content was worth the wait!

**f i v e**

**“how to cross the fake line without noticing”  
(ft. Park Jinyoung)**

**− i –**

“You honestly suck at this whole fake dating thing, don’t you?”

Jinyoung shot BamBam an unimpressed glare, changing the band aid on his cheek. Damn Yugyeom and his damn fancy rings. He sighed, raising his gaze to the small mirror in a wardrobe; the bruise on his cheek already turned to deep purple mixed with yellows and his bottom lip looked way better than three days ago, but mentally he still felt like shit. He hasn’t seen Yugyeom since their fight on Friday and it was already Monday evening. Jaebum and Jackson hasn’t said a word to him ever since finding out from Youngjae who was also pointedly ignoring Jinyoung; Jinyoung doubted that Yugyeom told him to do so, Youngjae was just concerned about his best friend and Jinyoung understood that. He was glad that at least his roommates tolerated him enough to call him out.

“Did you miss the part where I said that Yugyeom landed the first punch?” he asked, closing the wardrobe and turning around to look at BamBam who was choosing clothes for a date he apparently had that evening. He didn’t want to tell Jinyoung who it was with, said he didn’t want to jinx it. It must have been serious because usually BamBam couldn’t shut up about his love conquests.

BamBam dismissively waved a hand, throwing half of his clothes to the middle of the room. “It was a matter of time, really. It’s a wonder he hasn’t kicked your ass earlier. Man, he agreed to help you even though his first relationship was shit and he’s obviously scared of your family that’s as big as the Kardashians and twice as judgmental. You’d think he deserves for you to cut him some slack,” BamBam muttered, looking at a burgundy button up in his hands. Then he shook his head and threw it to the floor.

Jinyoung stepped over the pile of clothes and sat at Mark’s bed, the only surface that was still free from BamBam’s outfits. “But I didn’t even do anything this time! Since when being concerned about someone is not cutting them slack? And what do you mean with his first relationship?” he asked. It seemed that everyone knew things about Yugyeom besides him and he was supposed to be Yugyeom’s boyfriend for the next two more weeks. That is, unless Yugyeom backs out of the deal which would probably be understandable.

“His first boyfriend was a piece of crap with anger issues, tell yourself the rest. And now you beat the hell out of him, how do you think it made him feel? You’re not concerned about Yugyeom, you’re worried your family will find out about your lie,” BamBam accused but he didn’t sound mean, he was just stating facts. “Which one looks better?” he asked, showing Jinyoung two dress shirts in an identical yellow color that didn’t match BamBam’s pink hair at all.

“Neither, the burgundy one was better,” Jinyoung muttered distractedly. What BamBam said wasn’t true; of course Jinyoung was worried that his family will find out but he sincerely was concerned about Yugyeom and the thought of Baekyol putting his hands on Yugyeom made Jinyoung’s blood boil. Which was… pretty hypocritical.

Fuck, Jinyoung really needed to talk to Yugyeom.

“Oh my god, you’re right,” BamBam whined, looking at all his shirts on the floor. It took him almost two hours to choose clothes, now it would probably take another two to style his hair and put make-up on. Jinyoung did not want to be here for that because it usually ended with him being the guinea pig with at least ten different eyeshadows and highlighters. Mark was just better at telling BamBam no. “Jinyoung, sweetheart, can you–”

“I’d really love to,” Jinyoung interrupted immediately, getting to his feet so fast he almost ended up with his face on the floor. “But I think I should talk to Yugyeom. Do you know where he might be?”

BamBam suspiciously squinted his eyes like he could call Jinyoung’s bullshit but then he just shrugged, probably deciding that they really should talk. “I think he’s at the studio. You know he has this showcase on Friday, he’s practicing.”

“Right, okay. Good luck on your date with… Taehyung?” Jinyoung tried again, raising an eyebrow.

BamBam smirked. “Goodbye, Jinyoung.”

“Damn you, Kunpimook.”

“ _Goodbye_ , Jinyoung.”

Yugyeom was alone in the studio with music blaring so loud that he didn’t hear when the doors opened and Jinyoung slipped in. The boy was turned towards the mirrors, watching his own moves and it let Jinyoung see his face; bruise on his cheek, dark shades under his eyes from when Jinyoung punched him in the nose, a cut on his eyebrow. Yugyeom’s right wrist was bandaged probably because of how Jinyoung twisted it, it was obvious that his whole body is sore but he still tried to keep up with the music—he was dancing to Jung Joon Young’s _Sympathy_.

Jinyoung took another step forward and now he could see his own reflection, too. Yugyeom’s eyes stopped on him and the boy stumbled, wincing and wrapping an arm around his ribs.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked with a frown, slowly moving to turn the music down and face Jinyoung.

“I think we should talk,” Jinyoung answered, walking across the studio to be closer to Yugyeom. He noticed how cautiously Yugyeom was watching his every move, his body was tense and it didn’t sit well with Jinyoung. He never cared what Yugyeom thought about him before but he certainly didn’t want the boy to be afraid of him or to see him the way he saw Baekyol. Jinyoung wouldn’t raise a hand at him again, he already knew he wouldn’t even if Yugyeom would start first.

Yugyeom shook his head, crossing arms over his chest. But when Jinyoung’s eyes drifted to the bandaged wrist, he lowered his hands again. “We really don’t have anything to talk about,” he stated, reaching to the radio.

“No, wait,” Jinyoung pleaded before Yugyeom could turn the music up. The song changed to _The 7 th Sense_ by NCT U. “Listen, I’m… Fuck, I’m so sorry. I know it doesn’t mean shit to you but I really am,” he muttered, gently touching the bruise on Yugyeom’s cheek with his fingertips. Yugyeom closed his eyes for a moment but then caught Jinyoung’s wrist, moving it away from his face.

“Please, don’t do that.” Yugyeom looked down at him and there was so much confusion in his eyes. Jinyoung didn’t understand what Yugyeom didn’t want him to do but he just couldn’t tear his gaze away and he wanted—wanted _something_. Yugyeom was still holding him and they were close enough for Jinyoung to count Yugyeom’s eyelashes if he wanted to.

Jinyoung could feel his heart speeding up and he had a memory of fire somewhere at the back of his mind. “Screw it,” he breathed out, pushing Yugyeom against the wall with his own body. He put his free hand on the back of Yugyeom’s neck and got on his tiptoes to press their lips together, ignoring the pain in his lower lip that was still healing.

For a moment Yugyeom was stiff under his touch but then he seemed to melt into the kiss, wrapping an arm around Jinyoung’s waist to pull him even closer. He let go of Jinyoung’s wrist in favor of putting his hand on Jinyoung’s neck, with index finger on his pulse point and thumb under his chin to tilt Jinyoung’s head back. Yugyeom licked on Jinyoung’s lower lip and the older boy instinctively opened his mouth, letting Yugyeom’s tongue in.

It was like an explosion in Jinyoung’s chest, his heart was beating rapidly almost as if it wanted to jump out to Yugyeom, he could feel the kiss with every fiber of his being and he couldn’t remember the last time he felt something like that. Something so intense, so amazing. He caught himself wondering why in hell weren’t they doing it all the time? Jinyoung moved his free hand up to Yugyeom’s black hair, tugging slightly at the ends which dragged a low groan from the back of Yugyeom’s throat. Jinyoung quickly decided that he already liked this sound and he grazed Yugyeom’s bottom lip with his teeth just to hear it again.

Their lips parted for a moment to catch a breath but Yugyeom was still keeping him close, impossibly close, as his eyes skimmed over Jinyoung’s face. He softly touched the band aid on Jinyoung’s cheek and frowned. “Sorry about that,” he mumbled, sounding sincere. Jinyoung could see that Yugyeom felt as bad about the whole thing as Jinyoung did himself but he wasn’t even mad at Yugyeom for what had happened.

“It’s alright, just–” Jinyoung said urgently, looking down at Yugyeom’s lips. The boy didn’t need to be told twice, he dipped his head to kiss Jinyoung again and it was even better than the first time. Jinyoung let his hands move down Yugyeom’s toned chest while the boy’s fingers squeezed Jinyoung’s hips and brought him closer. Jinyoung gasped when his dick touched Yugyeom’s through layers of clothing and he noticed that they were both equally hard.

Sexual frustration just fine. It was almost unbelievable that Jackson had been right about something.

“Shit,” Yugyeom muttered against Jinyoung’s lips, giving him open mouthed kisses that only turned Jinyoung on more. It would be really embarrassing to just finish in his pants, seeing as they weren’t doing anything more than kissing. Jinyoung had never been this close from a simple make out session and it went totally over his head that it was with Yugyeom, out of all people.

Jinyoung had no idea where he would take this whole thing if it wasn’t for the sound of something falling to the floor behind his back. Jinyoung quickly jumped back as Yugyeom immediately let go of him, looking over Jinyoung’s shoulder. But Jinyoung let himself admire Yugyeom for a moment; disheveled hair, flushed cheeks, sparkling eyes and lips swollen from kissing—he did that and it made him feel weirdly good. Then he finally turned around to see Jaebum watching them with wide eyes, some CDs scattered on the floor in front of him where he dropped them.

“Uh, I see that… That you worked everything out,” he said slowly, cheeks flushing as if he just caught them having sex in the middle of the studio. Jinyoung couldn’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed.

“I should—I need to go,” Jinyoung said quickly, not wanting to make things awkward. Besides, he had a _lot_ of thinking to do now. Alone. Far away from Yugyeom. Yugyeom who just gave him a boner. _Yugyeom_ just gave him a _boner_. _Kim Yugyeom_. “Help BamBam,” he added lamely, scratching the back of his neck.

Jaebum nodded shortly, crouching to pick up his CDs. “Right. Help BamBam. You should do that.”

“So I…” Jinyoung chanced a glance at Yugyeom who was still leaning against a wall with a dazed look on his face. He looked so pretty, Jinyoung almost reached a hand to touch him again before taking a step back. “I’ll see you later?” he asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

“Yeah, later,” Yugyeom repeated, smiling slightly and waving his healthy hand.

Jinyoung’s heart skipped a beat and then he was almost running out of the dance studio, thinking only about one thing.

_Holy shit, what have I done?_

**− ii −**

Jinyoung walked into his dorm and immediately stopped with his hand on a handle, noticing all the people in the room. BamBam was on his bed with Jackson, Jaebum and Youngjae were sitting on the floor between BamBam and Jinyoung’s beds, Yugyeom sprawled himself over Jinyoung’s bed. Mark was standing in the middle of a room, impatiently tapping his foot while looking at Jinyoung with a raised eyebrow.

“What did I miss?” he asked, carefully closing the doors behind himself and putting the bag on the floor. He took off the tie of his uniform and moved between Jaebum and Youngjae to flop down on his own bed, back resting against Yugyeom’s bent legs. The younger boy didn’t even move, he had an arm thrown over his eyes and Jinyoung was pretty sure that he’s asleep.

“Didn’t you get my texts?” Mark frowned, checking his phone as if to see if his messages got delivered at all.

Jinyoung shrugged. “I did, I just ignored them. I was in a middle of a lecture!” he justified himself quickly when he saw that Mark was opening his mouth to yell at him.

“Alright, whatever. You bitch,” Mark muttered to let Jinyoung know that he’s still pissed. Jinyoung rolled his eyes dramatically, sliding a little further down and leaning his head back on Yugyeom’s knee. They haven’t talked about what had happened at the studio yet since yesterday and Jinyoung honestly didn’t mind, he wasn’t ready. “So, as you all know, the dance group has their showcase this Friday and the basketball team has finals, also this Friday.”

“So you gathered us all here to state the obvious?” BamBam asked, stiffening his yawn. Well, it was already pretty late.

Mark shot BamBam an unimpressed glare. “You live here anyway, shut up. The showcase is earlier than the finals but me and Jinyoung won’t make it for the bus, so we’ll have to drive there on our own if the coach allows it.”

“Holy shit, it’s like High School Musical but… reversed,” Jackson frowned. “Can we all drive with you, though? We want to watch the game,” he pointed out, making all of them nod their heads in agreement. They were friends, Jinyoung and Mark wanted to cheer for the dancers and the dancers wanted to cheer for Mark’s basketball team. It usually ended with them having important events on the same day but they always somehow managed to make it in time, Jinyoung was sure that this time wouldn’t be any different.

“I can drive us to the game but I don’t know if I’ll fit seven people into my car,” Jinyoung said, playing with the first button of his white shirt. The entirely different thing was how they’ll get back because whether their team wins or not, they were getting shitfaced this Friday, that much was obvious.

“Of course we’ll fit, we fit into Mark’s car just fine,” Jaebum piped in from the floor.

Mark frowned. “That’s because Youngjae was sitting on top of Yugyeom the whole way. And I’m not paying damn tickets for your stupid asses again,” he warned, crossing arms over his chest. It was then that Jinyoung was sure Yugyeom was asleep, otherwise he would yell and defend himself that Mark got a ticket because of him _only_ three times. Jinyoung smirked at the thought.

“Just get your coach to let you come to the game on your own and we’ll figure something out,” Youngjae shrugged, as always finishing their pointless arguments. “What’s the program for the showcase, anyway?” he asked, turning more towards Jaebum.

Jaebum took his phone out and searched something for a few seconds before shrugging. “Pretty much the same as usual, first the whole group and then the additional show. So we’re going with our choreography first as a group, then the orchestra has their part which will probably take up to ten minutes,” he explained. “And then I’m dancing with Yugyeom-ah for the finish.”

Jinyoung nudged Yugyeom in the ribs so the boy would at least pretend that he was listening the whole time but Yugyeom only mumbled an incoherent _mmhmmm_ and swatted at whatever hit him.

“He’s hopeless,” Jaebum sighed fondly, shaking his head.

“Good thing he knows how to dance,” Jackson laughed, getting up to his feet when it was clear that the meeting was over. Mark always called those things for nothing.

“What’s so good if he just drops dead in the middle of a show? I mean, I appreciate the dramatics but damn,” Jaebum laughed when Youngjae shoved him lightly. “Jinyoung-ssi, just make sure he gets enough rest before Friday, yeah?” he asked, making Jinyoung’s head snap up with wide eyes.

“Why me?” he squealed, clearing his throat quickly and repeating the question in a decent voice.

“Well, he doesn’t look like he’s going to move from your bed anytime soon,” Mark pointed out with a smirk and Jinyoung sighed loudly. He honestly had more troubles because of Yugyeom than it was worth.

“Which means I’m sleeping in your room again,” Youngjae said, looking from Jaebum to Jackson. They just shrugged and walked out of the room with Youngjae trailing behind.

Jinyoung managed to take a shower, change into a simple sweatshirt and shorts, and eat dinner but Yugyeom was still soundly sleeping in his bed, scooted closer to the wall. Mark and BamBam didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest but then again Yugyeom’s tall ass wasn’t occupying _their_ beds. Jinyoung sighed and kneeled on the bed, nudging at Yugyeom again in the dark, the only source of light being the bedside lamp on Jinyoung’s drawer.

“Hey, asshole. Go to your own bed, I want to sleep,” he muttered, pointedly ignoring BamBam’s giggles. Fuck him. “Yugyeom, I’m going to kick your ass.”

Yugyeom turned to his back and tiredly opened his eyes, squinting when the light hit him. “Shut the hell up, you already did,” he said quietly, voice hoarse. “Just go to sleep, what have I done?” the boy asked confused, like he had all the right to just be in Jinyoung’s bed. Truth be told, Yugyeom was able to fall asleep literally anywhere.

“You’re taking up half of my bed!” Jinyoung whisper-yelled, widely gesturing with his hands at Yugyeom and the length of his bed.

“Hey, love birds, some of us have lectures at seven so you might want to kindly shut up,” Mark informed them from his bed, throwing a pillow at Jinyoung’s back which made him fall a little forward. He needed to put a hand on Yugyeom’s chest to keep himself upright.

“You’re so fucking rude, hyung,” Jinyoung hissed, turning his head to look at Mark.

“Just turn the damn light off,” Yugyeom griped, swatting lightly at Jinyoung’s face. Jinyoung huffed with offense but before he could protest, Yugyeom gripped his arm and forced him to lie down. Jinyoung almost landed on Yugyeom’s chest and he moved a little, leaning his head on Yugyeom’s arm that was around him. The boy hugged him and threw his free arm over his eyes again. “Now sleep.”

“But–” Jinyoung tried to protest but Yugyeom was holding him too tightly for him to sit up again.

“Just sleep, Jinyoung,” Yugyeom muttered, pressing his lips to the top of Jinyoung’s head for a moment.

Instead of freaking out, Jinyoung relaxed because of Yugyeom’s actions and he felt his body adjusting to Yugyeom. He reached to turn the lamp off and wrapped an arm around Yugyeom’s middle, finally closing his eyes.

This time he fell asleep almost immediately with the smell of coffee and Red Velvets in his mind.

Jinyoung was having a very weird dream about BamBam dressed as Princess Leia from the time she spent with Jabba The Hut, complete with the hairdo, when something started to wake him up. First it were quiet mumbles sipping into his sub-consciousness, then he was suddenly jerked awake when his head slipped from something and fell on a pillow. He blinked his eyes with surprise, trying to force them to open up so he could look at the clock on the bedside drawer — it was a little after seven in the morning and Mark’s bed was already empty, BamBam kept snoring on the other side of the room and his bed seemed to actually shake with the force of it. It was a wonder Jinyoung was able to sleep at all.

“No, no—stop, _please_.”

The voice made Jinyoung realize it was Yugyeom who had woke him up by moving away, his back was turned to Jinyoung and he was covering his head with one arm, mumbling to himself while still being very obviously asleep.

“Yugyeom-ah, wake up. It’s just a nightmare,” Jinyoung muttered tiredly. He had half a mind to kill Yugyeom for waking him up so early when his first lecture on a Wednesday was starting at nine thirty. He reached to shake Yugyeom’s arm but as soon as his fingers touched the skin above his elbow, Yugyeom flinched away with a strangled cry. “Shit,” Jinyoung hissed, completely awake now. Yugyeom’s skin was hot to the touch. “BamBam. _Kunpimook_. Hey, asshole,” he tried again, taking his pillow and aiming it at BamBam’s head sticking from under the covers.

BamBam shot up into a sitting position and looked around with wide eyes. “What the fu–”

“Yugyeom is burning up, _bad_. I need you to bring me a wet towel,” Jinyoung informed his friend. At the same time Yugyeom turned to his back and absently hit Jinyoung in the stomach, making him wheeze. “He’s also having a nightmare and he might actually fucking murder me in his sleep,” he added bitterly, looking down at the sleeping boy. Yugyeom’s face was flushed, black hair stuck to his forehead, eyes were quickly moving under the eyelids.

BamBam was already getting out of bed. “Wake him up. Youngjae said his nightmares can get bad, just—I don’t know, man, push him off the bed or some shit,” he suggested, taking a clean white towel and putting it in the sink under running water.

Jinyoung shot him an unimpressed glare; Yugyeom was pushed against the wall, how in hell was Jinyoung supposed to push him off? He sighed and moved a little away, reaching to shake Yugyeom’s arm again but this time he didn’t let go when Yugyeom tried to get his hands off of his body.

“Yugyeom, you stupid shit, it’s just me. C’mon, wake up.”

Finally Yugyeom startled awake, sitting up and looking around the room as if he was trying to figure out where he was. Then his eyes fell on Jinyoung and his face somehow softened, making Jinyoung’s heart squeeze in the weirdest of ways.

“Did you call me a stupid shit?” he asked quietly, voice hoarse with sleep and sickness. He would never get better if he won’t start taking his health issues seriously, that much was obvious.

“That’s because you punched me,” Jinyoung answered in his own defense, rubbing his stomach for emphasis. That’s when BamBam walked over with a rolled up towel and looked at Yugyeom with disapproval.

“And that’s because you are a stupid shit. What did Jackson tell you? Give yourself a break before he breaks your neck.” BamBam handed the towel to Jinyoung and sighed, looking at the clock. He was starting lectures at eight so he probably needed to get ready anyway.

Yugyeom looked confused as to why they were ganging up on him, this boy could be so clueless sometimes for someone so smart. “What have I done?” he muttered quietly, focusing his gaze on Jinyoung.

“I’m pretty sure Jackson is convinced you exist purely to torment your hyungs,” Jinyoung shrugged, putting a hand on Yugyeom’s chest and pushing him back down. Yugyeom didn’t protest, furrowing his eyebrows. “You’re staying in bed today, you have a fever,” he informed the younger student before gently putting the cold towel on his forehead.

Yugyeom sighed with relief and closed his eyes. “Fine,” he answered simply, surprising both Jinyoung and BamBam who turned towards them so fast he almost stumbled with pants dragged up only to his knees. “I just need to get to practice on the evening.”

Jinyoung thought it’s fair enough. He gave Yugyeom a clean shirt because his own was soaked with sweat and he offered to get some notes for him from Jeongguk who attended same lectures; it was obvious Jinyoung was trying to talk about pointless things to avoid what they really needed to talk about but Yugyeom didn’t call him out on that, maybe too afraid that Jinyoung will ask about the nightmares, which he wanted to. He just didn’t like to pry.

Yugyeom was fast asleep again before Jinyoung left for his lectures.

**− iii –**

“Jaebum-hyung’s not coming. He’s too busy fucking Youngjae,” Yugyeom stated, throwing his phone back to the gym bag on the floor.

“Excuse me, _what_ now?” Jinyoung asked with bewilderment, looking at Yugyeom’s reflection from above his textbook. Yugyeom still had Jinyoung’s blue t-shirt with PLUS ULTRA written in yellow and red letters, and Jinyoung had to admit that he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea of Yugyeom wearing his clothes. The boy was taller but still skinny so the shirt was almost a perfect size. He felt better than in the morning, his fever was almost completely down, too, and that’s why Jinyoung actually let him out of the room.

“I’m just kidding,” the nineteen year old dismissively waved a hand at Jinyoung. “But he is helping Youngjae with some essay so he can’t make it tonight. Whatever, you can help me,” he decided after a moment, smirking when his dark eyes caught Jinyoung’s golden ones in the mirrors.

Jinyoung immediately shook his head. “I can’t dance, how would I help?”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Yugyeom snorted, putting hands on his hips and spinning around on his heels to actually look down at Jinyoung who was sitting against the wall with books scattered all around him. He knew that offering to go with Yugyeom was a bad idea but he didn’t trust the kid enough with not dropping dead any second; Jinyoung still kind of needed him for the wedding next week. “Remember that frat party last year when Jung Hoseok challenged you to a dance off? Though he was pretty hammered… Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that it _happened_ , I was there. Jaebum-hyung was nagging at you to join our group for the next three months but you’re just lazy.”

Jinyoung sighed internally. If he knew Yugyeom would pull this out, he would never agree to dance with Hoseok. It’s not that Jinyoung didn’t like to dance or that he was exceptionally bad at it, he could learn a choreography pretty quickly if he just wanted to. But that’s the thing, he never wanted to. He was too busy with basketball and he used to tutor freshmen last year so he simply had no time to indulge Jaebum. Besides, dancing with Yugyeom wasn’t more appealing then than it was now. Well, alright, maybe it was worse back then but whatever.

“Move your ass. It’s just one choreography and I need to practice with a partner for the showcase on Friday. I’m doing you a pretty big favor, you can do something for me, too.”

“I’m _paying_ you for the big favor. What else do you want? My soul?” Jinyoung sighed dramatically, closing his textbook and sending Yugyeom a funny look when the boy frowned at him with annoyance. Jinyoung remembered what Yugyeom had said during their fight, that Jinyoung’s not better than Yugyeom’s boss and he flinched at the memory. He really hoped that Yugyeom doesn’t actually think that but he was too afraid to ask.

“If I actually manage to find that,” Yugyeom sighed, crossing arms over his chest. “Besides, you haven’t paid me anything yet. Stand up, _boyfriend_ ,” he cooed, walking closer to Jinyoung and extending his hand.

“You do realize how annoying you actually are?” Jinyoung asked, just to make sure. Yugyeom smirked when Jinyoung gave in and took his hand, letting the younger boy haul him up to his feet. “What’re you dancing to on Friday?” He realized he’s never actually seen Yugyeom and Jaebum practicing for their show, they just always danced with the group.

Yugyeom sneezed in the crook of his elbow, making his way to the radio in the corner of the studio. “Uh, it’s _Baby Don’t Stop_ by NCT U. I’m gonna show it to you step by step first and then we can try the whole thing?” he suggested, waiting for Jinyoung to agree.

He just shrugged his shoulders, he was fine with anything. It’s not like he actually needed to put effort into it, Yugyeom just basically needed someone to stand next to him so he’d know what kind of space he’ll have on the stage with Jaebum. Yugyeom turned the music louder and jogged up to stand next to Jinyoung.

Their height difference was even more obvious when they were looking at their reflection, Yugyeom almost a head taller. Jinyoung looked at himself; black jeans, an oversized green sweater, brown hair that was a little too long already and messily fell to his forehead, ending just above his golden eyes. Jinyoung never really gave his looks much thought, he obviously had insecurities—mostly about his ears that were just too big, but he wasn’t conceited enough to actually care about stupid shit like that. But when he was next to Yugyeom, who was supposedly his boyfriend, he couldn’t help but think that there’s no way he’d ever land himself a guy like that—looks wise. The twins would surely tell him so when he brings Yugyeom home and even though it would be a joke on their part, it would be true all the same.

Yugyeom slightly elbowed him in the arm. “Hey, quit spacing out and staring at your own face,” he mocked, shaking Jinyoung out of his thoughts. Jinyoung shoot him a nasty glare from under his eyelashes, moving a little further away so Yugyeom wouldn’t be able to hit him again. “Can we start?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

The steps seemed simple enough, Yugyeom was pausing when Jinyoung needed some more time for understanding the flow between first and next move, he repeated everything Jinyoung didn’t get the first time. They went over the same song three times before Jinyoung was ready to give the whole choreography a shot. He wasn’t really focusing on the music before, though, and when Yugyeom turned it up louder and started to _actually_ dance, Jinyoung realized how… sexual the whole thing was. The song was suggestive on its own but with the way Yugyeom’s body moved, hands touching himself, it was like an invitation to take Yugyeom home for whoever was watching him. Jinyoung tried to keep up but he was so caught up with Yugyeom’s fluidity in dancing that he just stopped somewhere in the middle and openly stared at the younger boy.

It was just… really mesmerizing and also simply hot, Jinyoung had to give Yugyeom that much.

When Yugyeom finally noticed that Jinyoung isn’t moving, he stopped with a frown. “What? Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something wrong with the choreography?” he asked, slightly out of breath. He looked self-conscious, Jinyoung knew that the boy had always been nervous when it came to dancing. Yugyeom wanted to be the best and he worked hard for it, taking every critic to his heart.

“Is there something wrong, he asks,” Jinyoung shook his head. He wanted to laugh and kiss Yugyeom, and then laugh while kissing Yugyeom. Fuck, this was weird. “It’s just… I mean, I knew you can dance but it was—wow,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair to get it off his face.

Yugyeom twisted his hands nervously, a quite unusual manner for him which Jinyoung found strangely adorable. “So… it was okay?” he asked, trying to make sure.

Jinyoung laughed, nodding his head. “Yeah, it was okay. Want to try again?” Not because Jinyoung just wanted to watch Yugyeom again, absolutely not. It was all about helping the younger boy.

The second time Jinyoung got the hang of it and actually managed to be useful, dancing next to Yugyeom if only a little slower. It wasn’t as simple when he actually had to follow the music and quickly change his positions, so by the end he was panting and when Yugyeom turned the music off, Jinyoung flopped to the wooden floor and looked up at the ceiling, trying to calm his breath. Yugyeom handed him a water bottle and sat down next to him.

“You think it’s good enough for Friday?” Yugyeom asked after he emptied half of his own drink, putting the plastic bottle aside. He wrapped his arms around his knees and curiously looked over at Jinyoung.

“Honestly? I know fuck all about professional dancing but to me it looked like more than just good enough,” he admitted truthfully, shrugging his shoulders as he also threw the bottle to the side. Yugyeom really didn’t need to know that Jinyoung almost had a boner simply from watching him dance, now _that_ was ridiculous.

Yugyeom grinned, clearly pleased with himself and then he stretched his arms over his head, groaning when something popped in his back. They were quiet for a moment before Yugyeom sighed, hugging his knees again. “So, uh… About Monday,” he threw it out there almost conversationally but Jinyoung’s body stiffened anyway.

“I don’t really…”

“Want to talk about it,” Yugyeom finished for him with a mocking smile. “Yeah, figured you wouldn’t,” he stated simply, rolling his eyes. Jinyoung felt as if he was somehow losing to Yugyeom but he didn’t have the slightest idea what they were playing at. He didn’t feel comfortable with _talks_ in general and all his friends knew it, Jinyoung was the kind of person to avoid important and at the same time uncomfortable topics until they either disappeared or the problem solved itself. The talk with Yugyeom seemed like it couldn’t possibly go well mostly because Jinyoung was too confused with everything he felt to even try and untangle this whole mess.

Jinyoung moved uncomfortably, his arm brushing against Yugyeom’s from how close they were sitting. “I mean, it’s just like you said one time, right? You’re a guy, I like guys in general. In fact, I’m very gay and it’s purely physical,” he rambled, very aware that he’s just making an idiot out of himself. For who the excuse was—Yugyeom or himself—that Jinyoung didn’t know and wouldn’t analyze it for the life of him, it could get pretty fucked up quickly and Jinyoung wanted to keep it simple. He wanted Yugyeom to know where they were both standing, not that Yugyeom would actually mistake Jinyoung’s actions for anything more. “It doesn’t–” Jinyoung tried again.

But then there was a hand on the back of his neck and Yugyeom closed Jinyoung’s mouth with his own, for now just pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. Jinyoung’s eyes widened with surprise but when the younger boy slowly pushed Jinyoung down to the wooden floor, Jinyoung went willingly, catching Yugyeom’s shirt to drag him along. Yugyeom threw his leg over Jinyoung’s waist, straddling him and leaning forward. He put one hand on Jinyoung’s jaw, pulling Jinyoung’s chin down with a thumb to open his mouth, and then he licked into Jinyoung’s mouth, tongues grazing each other. Yugyeom made the kiss deep and agonizingly slow; Jinyoung had no idea that it was even possible to kiss someone so thoroughly, his skin prickled with pleasure and he couldn’t stop the low moan that got out of him when Yugyeom sucked at his tongue as if he wasn’t doing anything else his whole life.

Yugyeom had only one boyfriend before, he shouldn’t be this fucking good at that. Yugyeom broke the kiss, moving a little back to look at Jinyoung with lust on his face, an expression that Jinyoung was sure is also on his own face. There was a trail of spit between their tongues that turned Jinyoung on even more, he could feel the bulge in his jeans getting bigger. Yugyeom’s dark eyes were searching Jinyoung’s face as if he was trying to figure out if what he was doing really was okay and Jinyoung’s heart melted just a tad bit. But he was really horny right now and he wasn’t above begging for Yugyeom to continue, which was pathetic but at this point Jinyoung couldn’t even think clearly.

He brought his hand up to Yugyeom’s hair, ruffling it between his fingers before tugging at the ends harsher than he did on Monday. Yugyeom growled low in his throat but it was enough for him, he lowered his head but instead of going in for another kiss, he started to leave a wet trail from the corner of Jinyoung’s mouth and along his jaw. When his mouth touched the spot right below Jinyoung’s ear, the older boy buckled his hips involuntarily, gasping for air.

“Mm, found it,” Yugyeom muttered triumphantly and before Jinyoung could do anything, he started to suck at the exact spot, making Jinyoung whimper below his body. Jinyoung tilted his head to the left to give Yugyeom better access and he gripped Yugyeom’s hair as the boy nibbled at his skin to the point where it became painful—yet still pleasurable. After a few seconds Yugyeom gently licked at the sore spot, soothing the pain he caused. Jinyoung was sure that Yugyeom left a mark on him.

Jinyoung held onto Yugyeom’s hair and forced the black haired boy to look at him again, though careful not to pull too hard since he didn’t want to actually hurt Yugyeom. Yugyeom’s face was open and honest, eyes wide and lips parted; for the first time Jinyoung thought that Yugyeom is straight up gorgeous and he wondered how it was possible he hasn’t noticed before. He wanted to kiss the boy breathless and so he did, because right now he simply _could_. Yugyeom was responding to his every action, letting Jinyoung take control even though he still was on top. And it made Jinyoung realize he didn’t want to stop this, which was fine right now because they were alone and no one would come to the studio anyway, but it wasn’t only that.

He wouldn’t want to stop tomorrow either. Or in a week after their arrangement is over. Once he got to know what it’s like kissing Yugyeom and being kissed by Yugyeom, he knew it’s hopeless. Because Yugyeom kissed like he did everything else — with burning passion and giving it his all, and Jinyoung never felt anything so intense before but it was dangerous. Kissing Yugyeom was like touching fire, it could only end in getting burned.

So Jinyoung gently broke the kiss and held Yugyeom’s chin. “It doesn’t mean anything,” he whispered weakly, his voice was hoarse from all the heat he felt. He hoped it doesn’t sound like a lie, that it’s convincing. He felt like he needed to do the damage control before it got out of hand; because this wasn’t supposed to be complicated. That’s the main reason Jinyoung chose Yugyeom.

Yugyeom was looking down at him for a minute or so, expression unreadable. Then he caught both Jinyoung’s wrists in his hands and moved them above Jinyoung’s head, pinning them to the hard floor, but not strong enough for it to be uncomfortable—rather just enough to make Jinyoung consider being into handcuffs. Yugyeom hovered above Jinyoung, getting his face closer, his hot breath fanning over Jinyoung’s mouth. “It doesn’t have to,” he muttered, lips close enough to touch Jinyoung’s with each word. Suddenly Yugyeom squeezed Jinyoung’s wrists and grinded down on him, oh so slowly.

“Fucking hell,” Jinyoung cursed loudly, closing his eyes. His body arched back, trying to get Yugyeom to do that again. “It really doesn’t,” he panted, wringing his hands. Yugyeom chuckled lowly and held him tighter, pushing Jinyoung’s body down to the floor with his hips. Jinyoung had never been this frustrated in his life before, all because of this cocky idiot who was very obviously giving him an attitude now.

“Purely physical,” Yugyeom repeated Jinyoung’s earlier words, dipping his head low and nuzzling Jinyoung’s neck with his nose.

Jinyoung buckled his hips again and smirked when Yugyeom hissed under his breath, but then the younger boy pressed their groins together harder than before and let go of Jinyoung’s wrists with one hand, still being able to keep them pinned with another alone. “Please,” Jinyoung whimpered when Yugyeom’s hand slowly moved down his body to stop at the button of his jeans.

Yugyeom licked at Jinyoung’s skin all the way from his collarbone up his neck. He ended by gently biting at Jinyoung’s jaw and Jinyoung almost finished then and there, with his pants still on, but suddenly the extra weight on top of him was gone. Jinyoung blinked quickly to see Yugyeom standing in front of the mirrors, smoothing down his shirt and grinning at Jinyoung’s reflection.

“We should practice one more time,” he said breathlessly, running a hand through his messed up hair to comb them even if only a little.

Jinyoung looked at Yugyeom, then at his erection, then at Yugyeom again with a dumbfounded expression. “Are you– What the _fuck_ ,” he mumbled, flipping Yugyeom off with both hands when the boy laughed at him. Jinyoung closed his eyes and let his head fall back down with a loud thud.

Maybe communication _was_ key with Yugyeom. In any case, Jinyoung really wanted to tell Yugyeom to go fuck himself sideways. He couldn’t have chosen the worse fake boyfriend.

Because that’s all Yugyeom was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so ,, the making up part might feel a bit rushed but there's a reason for that and i hope that if it's not clear after this chapter, the next few will clear it up. it's all part of jinyoung and yugyeom's characters. also i'm really bad at kissing scenes and stuff like that so nkgkdgk im sorry  
> but thank you so much for kudos and the comments, i love you all!!


	6. “how to bullshit your way out of a conversation” (ft. Park Jinyoung and Kim Yugyeom)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i knew what i was doing when i put the "so much denial" tag  
> this is more of a filler chapter but i hope it's okay!!

**s i x**

**“how to bullshit your way out of a conversation”  
(ft. Park Jinyoung and Kim Yugyeom)**

**− i –**

The closer it was to the moment Jinyoung had to go back to his hometown, the more nervous he became. It was already Thursday, Jinyoung and Yugyeom were supposed to leave on a Saturday evening to be there before Monday. The wedding was actually next Saturday but it was spring break anyway so Jinyoung’s parents had asked him to come earlier and spend some time with them, that way he could make plans with friends for the second week of the break. Jinyoung was wondering if he should maybe tell Yugyeom to just come the day before the wedding but the younger boy said he doesn’t mind going with Jinyoung right away—Yugyeom’s family lived there too, after all, and it could come off as unusual if Yugyeom wouldn’t want to be there longer.

Jinyoung knew he’s overthinking the entire thing and it could be the main reason for a slip up, but he really didn’t want anyone to find out the truth. Not only because Jinyoung wouldn’t live through the embarrassment, but also because he didn’t want to see his grandmother disappointed. Besides, maybe if his family would see him in a happy relationship with a boy, they would lay off with bothering him about his sexuality and _poor life choices_ , as one of his aunts liked to call it. And by now Jinyoung was pretty sure that Yugyeom could fool anyone he wanted; showing affection just came really naturally for him, he never hesitated before taking Jinyoung’s hand or planting a kiss on his forehead when they were parting ways, almost as if they were doing it their whole lives. Sometimes even Jinyoung needed to remind himself that Yugyeom is not, in fact, his boyfriend and it’s all just an act, practice before the big show for Jinyoung’s family. Jinyoung was trying to be as comfortable as Yugyeom but it was just harder for him, he couldn’t help but think whether his gestures won’t be mistaken or if he’s not doing too much. It was tiring.

He should be focusing on the basketball game tomorrow but everything Mark was saying during practice seemed to fly over Jinyoung’s head. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to win or wanted to sit the whole game out, his priorities were simply kind of messed up at the moment.

Jinyoung often wondered if Yugyeom had similar dilemmas when it came to him but then he thought of it as stupid. Yugyeom wasn’t treating it as anything more than just a way to get some money and the kissing thing… Well, if they were pretending to date which meant they shouldn’t be seeing anyone else, they could at least get something out of it, right? Lips were lips and hands were just hands, it was as simple as that.

And if Jinyoung enjoyed it a little more than he should, no one had to know.

**− ii –**

Yugyeom could see that something was bothering Youngjae.

They were sitting in the library during the lunch break, the old librarian kept sending Yugyeom nasty glares—she was obviously still hung up on the shelves Jinyoung toppled over almost two weeks ago even though they both had spent _hours_ on putting everything back in its place. Honestly, this woman should get a life or something.

Youngjae had been staring at the same page in a book for about five minutes now, absent-mindedly tapping a pen against the table, but whenever Yugyeom tried to open his mouth to ask what was wrong, the witchy librarian was very coincidentally walking behind his chair and stabbing her bony elbow in the back of his neck. Finally he leaned forward to be closer to his best friend.

“What’s going on?” he asked quietly, making Youngjae’s brown eyes snap up to him with a confused look. “What’s wrong? You seem upset.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” Youngjae said immediately and tried to smile which came out rather weakly. Youngjae was this kind of person that never liked to bother others with his problems even though he could rarely hide when something was bothering _him_.

Yugyeom frowned. “Obviously I am going to worry about it. When someone’s telling you that you shouldn’t worry about something, you start worrying even more,” he rambled because that was usually how things worked. Especially when Youngjae said not to worry. “Is this about Jaebum-hyung?” he asked softer this time and when Youngjae bit on his bottom lip, Yugyeom knew he got the point. “Come on, you know you can tell me.”

Youngjae sighed and wiped his face with his hands, closing the book in front of him. If he couldn’t focus, he wouldn’t get much studying done anyway. “I feel like he’s ashamed of me. And it’s not like I can’t understand that, seeing as I am me and he’s… well, he’s himself. But it’s just—it’s been three months and he still doesn’t want to tell anyone. He doesn’t know that you know.”

“Alright, tell me one thing for starters. Are you crazy, hyung?” Yugyeom asked, furrowing his eyebrows at the boy who was sitting opposite to him.

Yugyeom had found out about Youngjae and Jaebum about a week into their relationship; Youngjae wasn’t used to hiding things from his best friend and even though Jaebum asked him not to, Youngjae told Yugyeom and made him promise to keep a secret, which Yugyeom did. He wasn’t sure what’s the big deal about but he respected Jaebum’s decision; the man was apparently scared that their friends will act weird about two of them being in a relationship with each other, because something like that definitely could threaten a friendship, and that Yugyeom understood. But hiding someone as wonderful as Youngjae? _That_ went totally over his head. Of course it probably would be weird at first, getting used to two of your best friends dating, but Yugyeom knew no one would be against it. Especially since Yugyeom and Jinyoung were pretending to date now and their friends only seemed to get a good laugh out of it.

“Do you actually think that anyone could be ashamed of you? You’re the most amazing person I know and Jaebum-hyung is _lucky_ to have you, and if he needs someone to slap him with that fact then I’ll gladly deliver,” Yugyeom stated, catching Youngjae’s hand over the table. His best friend was looking at him with doubt in his eyes and it honestly upset Yugyeom. “Baby, you’re the best thing that could have happened to me and the best thing that could have happened to your boyfriend, okay? I want you to know that. Jaebum-hyung is head over heels in love with you and it really is a wonder no one else noticed yet. Guess we’re really friends with idiots.”

Youngjae chuckled at that, shaking his head. “I know it’s been only three months but I’ve been in love with him for so long, I just wish I could be able to show it,” he admitted quietly.

“And there’s nothing wrong with that. Talk to him, I’ve heard it’s important in a relationship.” Yugyeom bitterly thought about Jinyoung running away from responsibilities and serious talks, and it made him want to laugh. That guy probably didn’t even know what communication means.

“Oh, is it now? Well, then how are you and Jinyoung? A lot of _talking_ going on out there?” Youngjae asked with a raised eyebrow.

Yugyeom was glad that his best friend’s mood seemed to improve already but he would appreciate if it wasn’t at his expense. Yugyeom hasn’t told him anything about the changes between him and Jinyoung but after spending yet another night in Jinyoung’s room he probably didn’t look too innocent. Well, so what, he slept better when he was in Jinyoung’s bed, sue him. It’s not like they actually went further than making out, Yugyeom was pretty sure that for Jinyoung it would be crossing some invisible line he set between what they could and couldn’t do, and Yugyeom wouldn’t be the one to push it. It’s not like he cared that much. After failing to tell Jinyoung that he doesn’t want to help him anymore like he originally intended to, Yugyeom stopped caring about anything, really. He just went with it.

“What’s so funny, huh? I’ll have you know that I’ve drastically improved with expressing my feelings. At least that’s what my therapist had told me the last time,” Yugyeom announced proudly. He still avoided talking about his mother but he slowly tried to stop hiding things about his mental state and Seokjin seemed thrilled by that. It was always something. “But you know Jinyoung, right? He’s the only one from us that would actually die on tortures because he wouldn’t say shit even then.”

“Yeah, that’s a bit of a problem,” Youngjae admitted, playing with the silver bracelets on Yugyeom’s wrist. “You should try anyway, though. Now, I don’t know what’s between you two and I’m not going to assume anything, though you’re not exactly subtle.” Yugyeom rolled his eyes at that. “I just don’t want him to think he can use you just because you agreed to help and I don’t want you to think it’s okay. Just—think about it, alright? Because when you two are alone, you don’t have to pretend anything.”

Yugyeom blinked surprised. He had no idea why he never even thought about that before. When he was alone with Jinyoung, there was no one to pretend in front of. It was one thing to act in front of people at the university, they were just trying to get comfortable with it so Jinyoung’s family would buy it. But they were alone when they kissed, they were alone when they touched each other. The jealousy they both felt—why would they have to pretend that?

Yugyeom didn’t have an answer for that and it frustrated him.

Because of the showcase and basketball game he needed to move his appointment from Friday to Thursday again but this time he made it exactly at two, not wanting to waste Seokjin’s time. The man was already waiting behind his desk, smiling happily when Yugyeom entered his office.

“I’m sorry I keep moving the appointments but a lot of things came up recently and I’m just trying to have time for everything,” Yugyeom explained, feeling like he owed it to his doctor. He might have hated being forced to therapy at all but he did like Seokjin, he was much better than Yugyeom’s first doctor and by far more understanding when it came to Yugyeom’s boundaries.

Now the man nodded quickly. “You don’t have to apologize. The most important thing is that you’re not giving up, Yugyeom-ssi. Are you excited for your show tomorrow?” Seokjin asked with genuine interest in his voice.

“I’m more nervous, I think. I couldn’t practice as much as I’d like to because I’ve been pretty sick for the last two weeks,” Yugyeom admitted with a light shrug, trying to ignore the memory of how his last practice with Jinyoung went down. _It doesn’t mean anything_. Fuck Jinyoung, honestly. It’s not like Yugyeom _wanted_ it to mean something. “But there’s actually something I wanted to talk about… if that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay,” Seokjin agreed easily, seeming excited that Yugyeom showed some kind of involvement in the appointments. “What is it?”

“It’s about… Alright, it’s going to sound stupid but it’s actually about that guy I’ve told you about almost a month ago. Do you remember him?” Yugyeom asked, moving a little closer on the couch. Seokjin thought for a moment and then his face lit up with recognition as he nodded thoughtfully.

“Um… Jinyoung, if I’m not mistaken. The one who kissed you on a party?” Seokjin asked just to make sure. It sounded stupid that Yugyeom talked to his therapist about something like that, but he would honestly take any topic above his family and Seokjin seemed interested in this story when Yugyeom was telling it. Seokjin couldn’t tell about it to anyone anyway, Yugyeom saw no harm in talking about it.

“Yes, him.” Yugyeom briefly explained to Seokjin what kind of arrangement he had with Jinyoung, leaving some things out; like the fact that he was getting paid for it or their fight, because the man didn’t need to know that much. He had no idea what he wanted Seokjin to do about it, it’s not like his doctor could actually find a solution to any problem he had, but maybe he could help Yugyeom sort a few things out. “So, I know it’s all fake but it’s just messing with my head sometimes and I wonder if that’s good for the whole healing process you keep talking about,” he finished, trying to sound like it wasn’t that big of a deal. He wasn’t losing sleep over this, after all, he would just like to know.

“Because you were supposed to pretend being in love with him and it turned out you don’t actually have to pretend?” Seokjin asked softly, his gaze intent on Yugyeom as if he was analyzing everything he had just heard. Yugyeom shrugged noncommittally, dropping his gaze to the floor. “First I need to tell you that I’m really proud of you for acknowledging that the healing process is needed to begin with. It’s a huge progress. As for your situation with this boy… I can’t really tell you what to do but from the professional point of view, putting yourself in a situation like that isn’t the healthiest thing you can do. You should be focusing on yourself first and foremost, your wellbeing is the most important part in all of it and it’s pretty clear to me that your relationship with him bothers you which might make you go to places you don’t want to be in, mentally speaking. We’ve talked a lot about the relationships in your life; family, friends, and even your first partner,” at that Seokjin frowned slightly which made Yugyeom smile. Seokjin really had it out for Baekyol. “You know it’s hard for you to create a healthy relationship, which of course doesn’t mean you’re incapable of doing so. All I’m saying is that you need to remember that you are allowed to say no, you’re the only person in charge of your life and it’s obligatory for others to respect your boundaries and what you’re comfortable with. But they can’t do that if they don’t know about said boundaries.”

Yugyeom was quiet for a long period of time and Seokjin allowed it. The boy needed to actually think about all of it to understand what his therapist wanted to say. He was mulling it in his head but, really, it just came to one thing in the end.

“So you think I should talk to him about it?” Yugyeom asked with a frown. Youngjae had told him the same thing, as if it was that simple. As if Yugyeom hadn’t tried already. “But what if he doesn’t want to? It doesn’t mean anything to him, he just needs me for another week, nothing more. It’s not that deep for Jinyoung,” Yugyeom stated, only now realizing how true those words actually were. Yugyeom was nothing but a warm body to Jinyoung, he was nice because he needed Yugyeom and once the wedding is over, everything would go back to the way it was. Maybe it was a good thing, though.

“But it is deep for you,” Seokjin emphasized, looking at Yugyeom with so much sympathy that it made the young boy a little uncomfortable. He didn’t deserve that. “You can’t neglect your own feelings just because it doesn’t mean anything for someone else, Yugyeom-ssi. You’ve been through a lot and you have a lot to deal with. If Jinyoung really does need you, he should at least know how it affects you. It’s not my place to tell you to back out from the deal, after all you just want to help a friend, but it is my place to tell you that nothing is worth losing everything you’ve worked for for the last four years.”

And Yugyeom knew that Seokjin is right. It was just a lot harder than it seemed.

**− iii –**

“Hello, beautiful.”

Jinyoung just straight up dropped everything he was holding; his books fell to the ground with a loud noise and a plastic cup of coffee soon followed, making a mess on the black tiles. He looked up at Yugyeom who was just putting the apron on his Cherry Bomb uniform, the boy smirked, dark eyes flashing with amusement.

“Well, that’s going to look wonderfully in front of your family,” Yugyeom stated, walking around the counter with a mop already in his hand. “Should I just keep calling you an asshole, then?”

Jinyoung sputtered, feeling that his cheeks are almost the same color as the dark red walls of the café. “The last time I saw you, you’ve said _see you later, shithead_! It’s not like I’m used to you calling me some… stupid things,” he muttered the last part, leaning down to pick up his books and put them on the closest table. The café wasn’t opening for another hour so the place was empty, Yugyeom just asked if Jinyoung would like to help set things up and hang out before Yugyeom’s work. Jinyoung found it quite suspicious but for a Red Velvet he’d do about anything.

“Oh, so _beautiful_ is stupid but _shithead_ is alright? I knew there was a reason I’m dating you,” Yugyeom cooed sweetly, cleaning the mess Jinyoung had made.

“Shut the hell up, at least when you say _shithead_ , you mean it.” Jinyoung took off his jacket and looked around the café. It seemed mostly cleaned up so Jinyoung just started to take the chairs off of the tables to put them down. He needed something to do, anything really, just to not look at Yugyeom.

Yugyeom hummed thoughtfully. “I’m trying to not make a habit of saying things I don’t mean when I’m with my friends. Or, well, you. I guess,” he shrugged, going back to the counter without sparing Jinyoung a second glance. Jinyoung’s jaw would probably drop if it wasn’t for the fact that it was still bruised and hurt. Yugyeom had to be kidding him.

“Did you just—Wait, did you dye your hair?” Jinyoung asked suddenly, squinting his eyes. He hasn’t noticed at first because Yugyeom was dressed in burgundy and black colors so it was quite hard to tell the difference, but now when Jinyoung actually looked, Yugyeom’s hair wasn’t black anymore. It was light brown with pink highlights and Yugyeom hasn’t straightened it out today, instead letting his hair wave naturally on his forehead. For some reason it made him appear younger.

Yugyeom subconsciously touched his hair. “The black was coming off anyway and BamBam was bored,” he explained with a light shrug. “But look, the pink in my hair matches your shirt,” he added with a dumb smile, making Jinyoung glance down at his clothes. Yugyeom was right, his t-shirt had the same color as Yugyeom’s highlights and it made Jinyoung laugh.

“Yeah, uh, you… It looks nice,” he said, waving in the general direction of Yugyeom’s head.

The boy raised an eyebrow. “You know, giving me compliments won’t actually kill you. You don’t have to look like I’m stabbing you with a knife, but thank you very much. I know I’m pretty. Now, do you want another coffee or are you just going to drop it if I call you something nice again?”

Spending time with Yugyeom became almost too easy for Jinyoung. The nineteen year old was still a pain in the ass but now their fights were actually more of a light banter than anything serious, they didn’t feel the need to insult each other every few seconds even though Jinyoung did curse Yugyeom out when the boy accidentally dropped a cupcake at his book. Sometimes Jinyoung had a feeling that Yugyeom wants to tell him something but always backs out at the last minute; he was curious but didn’t try to push it. Once the café opened, Jinyoung took place at his usual table not too far away from the counter and he started to work on the project he needed to turn in by tomorrow evening; it was a code for some kind of software, the catch was that none of the students actually knew what they’re coding. Their professor gave them vague instructions they needed to follow and they wouldn’t know if they succeeded before finishing, turning the code in and waiting for the results. Yeah, Jinyoung just loved the gambling part of studying robotics—you either were lucky enough to pass or no, there was no third option.

The rush at the café died down about two hours later and Yugyeom had enough time to actually acknowledge Jinyoung. He walked over to his table and put a small plate with a fancy looking pie next to Jinyoung’s laptop, startling him a little as he hasn’t noticed the boy approaching.

“I didn’t order anything,” he said distractedly, looking over the notes he took during last lecture. By now he was pretty sure that their professor was just messing with them because he loved to watch them fail. Yes, Jinyoung would be an amazing CEO in his father’s company.

“I know, but listen to the music,” Yugyeom answered. Jinyoung frowned and moved his focus to the song that was currently playing, it was _Cherry Bomb_ so it meant his pie was for free. It was still really nice of Yugyeom to be so thoughtful and it only made Jinyoung eye him suspiciously. “What? You’re thinking something rude about me again, right?”

“You’re awfully nice today which means that you either want something or you broke something that belongs to me,” Jinyoung explained, leaning back on the chair and crossing arms over his chest, eyes still on the younger boy.

Yugyeom snorted. “Bullshit. I am a very nice person, just never tried it with you before, but I guess I can’t really be an asshole if I want your grandmother to like me,” he shrugged.

Jinyoung’s expression softened at that and he let his hands fall to his thighs. “I’ve told you that she already likes you, though.”

“Well, yeah, but—” Yugyeom moved uncomfortably, looking towards the register and then back at Jinyoung. “I was a little kid when I’ve seen her for the last time and I’m not exactly… A lot of stuff happened since then and she might not think of me as good anymore if she’s—uh, if she’s heard things about me,” he added, carefully choosing his words. Jinyoung’s eyebrows went up with surprise.

“Things like what?”

Yugyeom was clearly nervous now and for a moment he was looking around the café before his gaze fell on Jinyoung’s laptop. The boy squinted his eyes and leaned a little closer. “Oh, are you finally going to build R2D2?” he asked and there was something close to excitement in his voice as his eyes skimmed over a bunch of letters and numbers on the screen.

Jinyoung frowned. “I—What?” he was confused by the sudden change of topic because he really wanted to hear about those things that could apparently change his grandmother’s opinion on Yugyeom. It sounded important and Jinyoung probably should know it before they leave on Saturday.

“Well, that’s a code for fake intelligence, isn’t it? Oh, and you messed it up,” Yugyeom mocked, patting Jinyoung’s head twice before Jinyoung swatted at his hand, also looking at the code in front of him.

“How do you know what that is?” Jinyoung asked doubtfully. Yugyeom didn’t seem like someone who could know anything about coding, he was studying architecture himself and he sucked at algebra. Jinyoung had spent almost four years with codes like this one and even _he_ didn’t know what his current assignment was, so how would _Yugyeom_ know?

“I’ve seen a similar code before, that’s all. You messed up the eleventh line, order of the numbers is wrong,” the boy said simply and turned around as if to walk back to the counter. Jinyoung quickly looked at the eleventh line and his eyes widened. He knew that Yugyeom was very obviously avoiding the previous topic but Jinyoung has been sitting here for the last two hours and he had nothing new in his code, so he snatched Yugyeom’s wrist and tugged at it, making Yugyeom look at him with raised eyebrows.

“Can you do it?” he asked, sounding pathetically hopeful.

“I… can try. If you cover the register for a moment,” Yugyeom decided, running a free hand through his hair. Jinyoung knew fuck all about working in a café but he didn’t hesitate before standing up and wrapping his arms around a surprised Yugyeom to untie his apron.

“You’re literally saving my life.” Jinyoung pressed a quick kiss to Yugyeom’s lips without even thinking about it and then he swerved around him, putting the apron on.

Yugyeom flopped to the chair with a slightly dazed look on his face. “If that’s your way of encouraging me, you’re failing,” he deadpanned but then turned towards the laptop, also looking over Jinyoung’s notes. “God, your handwriting is terrible.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes and ignored the whining boy.

Turned out that Jinyoung was awful at the job, he needed to ask Yugyeom about names of the pies and coffee proportions more than once, but what was weird was that Yugyeom didn’t seem annoyed at all. He was answering Jinyoung’s questions without even raising his head from the laptop, his fingers were quickly running over the buttons and he looked like he actually had _fun_ while creating the damn code. Jinyoung had a hard time believing that this was the same Yugyeom he had known almost all his life.

Seven customers later Yugyeom finally got up from the chair and stretched his back, looking over at Jinyoung. “I think it’s done but you should probably look through it before sending it in. You’re the robotics major, after all,” he shrugged, looking at the clock on his wrist. “And I’m going to slowly close the café, my shift is finished.”

They’ve changed places and Jinyoung could finally eat his pie while reading over the code. It wasn’t as good as Red Velvets, but it wasn’t bad either—it had a strong lemon taste but wasn’t very sour at the same time. Jinyoung cleaned the keyboard from crumbs, simultaneously scrolling down. His head hurt already from looking at green letters on a black screen, but if he wasn’t mistaken Yugyeom had just done Jinyoung’s assignment for him and done it perfectly at that. He still had no idea how the boy was able to tell what kind of code it was, Jinyoung wouldn’t do that even with a full code because they’ve never worked with fake intelligence before, but maybe that’s why his professor always had this shit-eating grin while talking about the software. Most of the time it made Jinyoung want to jump out of the window.

Jinyoung saved the code and an extra copy, just in case. After packing his things, he walked to the backroom where Yugyeom just finished changing into his normal clothes. For a moment Jinyoung admired Yugyeom’s long legs in black jeans and the way he looked in a leather jacket because that was a sight to behold.

“Anyone told you before you’re kind of brilliant?” Jinyoung asked casually, leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed over his chest.

Yugyeom turned around with furrowed eyebrows. “Right, and I’m the _awfully nice_ one today, huh?” he teased, clearly taking Jinyoung’s words as mocking.

“I’m not joking, Yugyeom-ah. You’ve finished the code I’ve had troubles with for the last three weeks, it’s amazing. You’re brilliant,” Jinyoung said more firmly this time, looking up at Yugyeom. The boy shifted awkwardly from foot to foot and his cheeks seemed to flush a little as he shrugged.

“I’m really not, though. The code was halfway done anyway.”

Jinyoung frowned at that, tilting his head to one side. Yugyeom looked sheepish and he didn’t boast about his abilities like he usually would, instead he seemed unsure of how to react to Jinyoung’s words and it suddenly dawned on Jinyoung that Yugyeom didn’t think he’s smart enough. Maybe it was because of the partial scholarship and not a full one, maybe because no one had ever told him before that his brain is amazing, maybe because Yugyeom was really bad with algebra and thought it means he’s stupid. Whatever the reason, Yugyeom didn’t believe in Jinyoung’s compliment and it was… really sad, now that Jinyoung thought about it. There were dozens of people flirting with Yugyeom because of his looks, Jinyoung wondered how many of them actually bothered with listening to what Yugyeom had to say.

Jinyoung reached forward and hooked his finger in a loop of Yugyeom’s jeans, tugging at it and making the younger boy stumble into his direction. “Come here and listen to me, okay? Because I sure as hell won’t say that again,” he warned, staring into Yugyeom’s hazel eyes. “You’re insanely smart. So what if you don’t understand algebra? You’re on an accelerated track and it’s only your second year at the university. You kicked my ass with that code, I didn’t even know what it was for but you did. If it’s not brilliant then I don’t know what is,” he admitted truthfully, trying to convince Yugyeom that he really thinks so.

Yugyeom lightly kicked at the tip of Jinyoung’s shoe with his own one, averting his gaze to the side for a moment. His cheeks were even more red now. “I don’t—I have no idea how to answer to that,” he muttered helplessly and he looked so adorable just then. Jinyoung tugged at his loophole, bringing Yugyeom even closer and he smiled at the boy.

“You don’t have to answer. Just remember about it,” he shrugged simply, reaching up to brush the hair off of Yugyeom’s face.

Yugyeom was looking down at him with such intensity that Jinyoung wanted to look away but found out that he simply couldn’t. Yugyeom skimmed his hands up Jinyoung’s chest and then cupped his face, tilting it back to press their lips together. Jinyoung’s eyelashes fluttered as his eyes closed and he sneaked his arms under Yugyeom’s jacket, wrapping them around his waist and pressing their bodies flush together. This kiss was different from their previous ones, it wasn’t rushed and heated; Yugyeom was kissing him slowly and sweetly, caressing Jinyoung’s cheeks with his thumbs, but Jinyoung’s heartbeat was rapid all the same. Yugyeom slightly turned him around without disconnecting their lips and pressed Jinyoung against the doorframe, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

When they finally needed to come up for air, Yugyeom rested his forehead against Jinyoung’s, still holding Jinyoung’s face in his warm hands.

“What was that for?” Jinyoung asked quietly, catching his breath and trying to calm it down again.

“For not being a shithead for once,” Yugyeom answered and then they both burst into laughter. Jinyoung found out that it’s pretty difficult to kiss someone while you’re both smiling, but admittedly it was also really fucking nice.

Suddenly they could both hear the bells above the entrance and Jinyoung realized that Yugyeom hasn’t closed the café yet. They were both standing in the entrance to the backroom which meant that whoever walked in front of the café could see them. Yugyeom’s eyes widened at the realization as he let go of Jinyoung and looked towards the entrance.

Hwan Jiho, the owner of the café, was standing in front of the counter with a happy smile on his face as his eyes moved from one boy to another. It was the first time Jinyoung had actually seen him, Yugyeom always talked well of the man though. Jiho was an older man who probably was in his thirties when his daughter, Sunmi, had been born. His hair was already turning gray and he had small wrinkles in the corners of his eyes, but he was still tall and well-built for his age. But most of all, his face looked very kind so Jinyoung hoped Yugyeom won’t get fired now.

“Yugyeom-ssi, I was hoping to catch you today,” Jiho said jovially, as if making out with Jinyoung was just a part of Yugyeom’s job.

Yugyeom smoothed his red shirt down and cleared his throat. “Yeah, uh—I’m just… I mean, this is Jinyoung. He’s my, uh, he’s my boyfriend?” Yugyeom asked more than stated, shooting Jinyoung nervous glances. Jinyoung smiled at him softly, nodding his head.

“It’s very nice to meet you. Yugyeom-ah has told me a lot about you,” Jinyoung offered, extending his hand above the counter. Jiho quickly caught and shook it with more force than Jinyoung expected.

“Good things, I hope,” the man answered and then laughed loudly, seeing Yugyeom’s panicked expression. “Nice to meet you, too, Jinyoung-ssi. Sunmi told me something but that girl never stops talking so I wasn’t sure. Anyhow, I don’t want to take up your time, boys. Yugyeom-ssi, I just wanted to make sure you get your paycheck for the month seeing as you took the next week off,” Jiho explained, widely gesturing with his hands. He was moving so much that Jinyoung had a hard time imagining the man baking cakes in the kitchen; he looked like someone who would just knock things over all the time.

“Oh, right,” Yugyeom said, rubbing the back of his head. “Jinyoung, can you wait a few minutes?”

“Of course, I’ll be outside.”

Jinyoung watched as Yugyeom walks through the backroom with Jiho, probably to the owner’s office. He smiled to himself as he gathered his things and walked out of the café. After today he was somehow calmer about the whole fake dating thing. Maybe it really won’t be that difficult to pull this off?

Yugyeom really was excellent at acting.

**− iv –**

Yugyeom nervously wringed his fingers, watching as Jiho signs his paycheck.

“Are you going to hire someone in my place while I’m gone, hyung?” he asked finally, trying not to sound too desperate. He suddenly felt really hot in the leather jacket.

Jiho looked up at him with surprise, putting the pen down and handing the small piece of paper to Yugyeom across the desk. “No, I don’t think so. We still have So-young for the morning shifts and Sunmi said she wants to try helping out during the break anyway. With you gone I will have a reason to be here more often, too. You’ve been doing most of my job for me, kid,” the man laughed genuinely, leaning back on the chair and raising an eyebrow. “Why? Do you want to quit?”

“No!” Yugyeom answered immediately. His cheeks flushed and he pocketed the paycheck before he had the chance to rip it apart from nerves. “It’s just that I—Well, I kind of lost my other job and I really need money. I like working here, too, and I wouldn’t want to get fired,” he said quietly, shrugging his shoulders. He felt pathetic but the truth was that he absolutely couldn’t afford to lose this job, too. For now he wasn’t able to find anything after being kicked out of the diner and he decided to wait till he’s back in Seoul in a week.

Jiho looked concerned. “Why didn’t you tell me about your other job? I would give you a raise or something. Damn, probably should’ve done that ages ago! You’re basically running the place now.”

“Oh, no, that’s not what I—” Yugyeom tried, eyes widening. This was totally not what he meant, he was being paid well enough here, that’s why he wanted to keep the job.

“Listen, kid, I’m not going to fire you,” Jiho interrupted, leaning slightly forward. “You haven’t taken a single day off since I’ve hired you almost a year ago, one week is nothing. You’re not just a worker I can replace. You tutor my daughter and you don’t want money for that. You’re family, Yugyeom-ssi. And you don’t fire family so you don’t have to worry about it. Once you’re back, I’m going to pay you more for everything you’re doing here, it’s only fair.”

Yugyeom was speechless which didn’t happen too often. He had no idea that Jiho thought so highly of him, Yugyeom was just doing his job and he didn’t expect gratitude for that. He was helping Sunmi for free simply because he adored this girl and spending time with her was fun, he would feel bad if he’d get paid for that because he knew that Sunmi considered him a friend, not just her teacher. Yugyeom didn’t have the best experience with jobs and bosses, it was quite hard to believe that everything could look so promising for him.

“I—Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me,” he said finally and his voice wavered a little. “You… You’re like a family to me, too. All of you.”

Jiho smiled brightly, standing up from his place. “I should damn hope so, kid. Otherwise I’d have to do something about you getting cupcakes all over my wife, you clumsy bastard,” the man’s boisterous laughter sounded probably in the whole café. Yugyeom awkwardly scratched his neck, laughing along with his boss. “Oh, when I said that I’m going to pay for everything you’re doing here, I didn’t mean looking pretty with your boyfriend, yeah?” he asked playfully, shoving Yugyeom in the side as they stepped out of the office.

Yugyeom wanted the earth to open up and swallow him right now. “He looks pretty whether I’m with him or no,” he muttered, looking forward. Jinyoung was standing on the sidewalk in front of the café with hands in the pockets of his jeans, bouncing at the balls of his feet. Yugyeom smiled slightly and then almost fell to the floor when Jiho patted his back. This man honestly had no idea how much strength he has.

“Should I give him the talk? You know, the _if you hurt Yugyeom you better run_ _fast_ one? I feel like I should,” Jiho nodded to himself, looking like he was actually considering that.

Yugyeom shook his head, horrified. “Oh god, please don’t. I don’t want him to break up with me just yet,” he chuckled, taking his bag from the floor behind the counter and throwing it over his shoulder.

Jiho considered him for a moment, shaking his head a little. “You need to stop thinking that people will just get rid of you, kid. You’re too good for that. Now go and get some sleep. Oh, and good luck at the showcase tomorrow. Ask one of your friends to record it, yeah? My wife said she wants to watch.”

Yugyeom smiled at that. “I will. And thank you again, for everything.”

Jiho waved a hand at him, saying that he’ll close the café tonight. Yugyeom quickly made his way towards Jinyoung who smiled at him and almost absentmindedly caught Yugyeom’s hand, leading him towards the car parked on the other side of the street. Yugyeom could get used to that; to being with someone the way he was with Jinyoung now but for real, without the word _fake_ nagging at the back of his mind. He knew he shouldn’t think like that because he was just making it all worse for himself, but he just couldn’t stop.

Yugyeom looked at Jinyoung from the corner of his eye, watching as the boy drove them back to the campus. He thought about what his therapist had told him that day and about what he himself told Youngjae – that communication was important. It _was_ and Yugyeom was aware of that but it was never his strong suit, neither was it Jinyoung’s.

“Yugyeom-ah,” Jinyoung suddenly spoke up, making Yugyeom jump slightly at the attention. “Earlier in the café you said that my grandmother might not like you anymore. Why?” he asked with a frown, eyes stuck on the road in front of them.

And Yugyeom wanted to tell him everything even though only Youngjae knew so far. He wanted to tell Jinyoung and hope that he would understand, that he would take into consideration the fact that Yugyeom was shit at dealing with his own feelings, or someone else’s feelings for that matter, and that he couldn’t control how he felt towards Jinyoung now. He wanted to talk about boundaries, about how confused he was whenever Jinyoung kissed him like he mattered but then said it doesn’t mean anything.

But when he opened his mouth to do that, turned out that his throat was too tight. He clenched his fists in his lap, averting his gaze to look out of the window.

“It’s not really important,” he said only. That much he could force out. “Maybe I’ll tell you later.”

Or not. After all, Yugyeom just needed to survive another week and then none of this will matter anymore. He could do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the comments and kudos, i know this fic isn't great because my english isn't perfect and i'm just not that good of a writer to begin with but i'm glad someone likes it so really thank u all


	7. “how to deal with homophobia” (ft. GOT7)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!  
> sorry that it took so long but i've had the previous six chapter written before i started to publish this fic and now i don't have much time to write so you'll have to wait a bit for the updates. the comments under the last chapter were so amazing, thank you all so so much because it means everything to me!! i hope you still like the story. 
> 
> ps. warning: +16 scene, violence and usage of homophobic slurs

**s e v e n**

**“how to deal with homophobia”  
(ft. GOT7)**

**− i –**

The venue was huge and Jinyoung felt intimidated just looking at the size of the stage even though he wasn’t the one who’d be performing. The building was full of people who came to watch the showcase and representatives from different schools in Seoul, it was very easy to lose each other in the crowd and the first one to go was, of course, Yugyeom who disappeared suddenly before Jinyoung could even blink.

“He’s like eight feet tall. Why is he always the one that gets lost first?” Jaebum whined, keeping a hand on Youngjae’s arm. Youngjae was the shortest one from them so, logically, they should have lost him, not someone whose head was sticking above everyone else.

“It’s Yugyeom,” Jackson shrugged and that was really all the explanation they needed.

“He texted me that he’s in the bathroom on the second floor,” Youngjae informed them, looking up from his phone. He didn’t seem to notice how close Jaebum was keeping him, Jinyoung thought that he’s probably used to it by now, Jaebum often acted really protectively when it came to him.

Jinyoung frowned. “But the showcase is starting in fifteen minutes, shouldn’t he be here already?”

“Yeah, let’s go find your boyfriend,” BamBam said with a smirk, catching Jinyoung’s wrist before he could protest and dragging him towards the stairs leading to the second floor. “We’ll meet you backstage!” he called over his shoulder.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes but went willingly, knowing that if he let BamBam go by himself, he would just end up somewhere in Thailand along with Yugyeom by the end of the day. That’s just who they were.

Bathroom on the second floor was surprisingly empty aside from Yugyeom who was pacing back and forth in front of the stalls with a phone pressed to his ear. He raised his head when the doors opened and Jinyoung could see the distressed look on his face, though the boy quickly tried to mask it with a slight smile.

“No, I–I understand that but I’m—” Yugyeom stopped, listening to the person on the other end of the line. He frowned, nervously running a hand through his hair.

BamBam stood in front of the mirrors and smoothed down his black button up, next checking his hairstyle that got a little messed up due to the long ride in the small space of Jinyoung’s car; in the end they all needed to fit in there and Youngjae ended up in Yugyeom’s lap again, Mark wasn’t delighted but at least this time it would be Jinyoung who’d have to pay a ticket. Fortunately they weren’t caught. Jinyoung leaned against the wall next to the sinks and watched Yugyeom—the boy had Jinyoung’s gray hoodie on and he looked really soft with hair that wasn’t styled yet. Lately Jinyoung would often catch himself just staring at Yugyeom when the other boy wasn’t looking; it was strangely satisfying to notice things Jinyoung had never seen before, like the way Yugyeom would stick the tip of his tongue out when he was puzzled while doing his homework, or the way one corner of his mouth was always lifted in a fond half-smile when Yugyeom talked to Youngjae. Jinyoung never paid much attention to such details before.

“Yes, of course. Right after the break… Thank you very much,” Yugyeom said and then hung up a few seconds later. He slowly slid the phone into the back pocket of his black jeans, turning around and forcing a smile. “We can go.”

“Who were you talking to?” BamBam asked, spraying his face with cold water. “And is everything okay?”

Yugyeom tugged at his sleeves, shrugging lightly. “It was just… I–I failed algebra,” he muttered quietly, looking down at the tips of his shoes.

Jinyoung and BamBam worriedly looked at each other; they knew how important it was for Yugyeom because he could lose his scholarship if he wouldn’t pass everything by the end of the year. Yugyeom was already stressed because of his job so to add algebra to the equation… Well, it wasn’t the best.

“Will the professor give you a chance to pass?” Jinyoung asked softly, crossing arms over his chest.

“I’ve talked to him on the phone just now, he said I can try after the spring break but—I won’t do it. I know I can’t, I’ve studied so hard this whole time and I failed anyway. What’s the point? I’m just too—” Yugyeom started helplessly, avoiding looking at any of them.

“Don’t you even dare saying you’re too stupid, Gyeom-ah!” BamBam interrupted immediately, walking closer to Yugyeom and flicking his nose. “Algebra is stupid, not you. You don’t have to understand every single thing to be considered smart. Now don’t look at me like a kicked puppy,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around Yugyeom to hug him tightly. Yugyeom looked at Jinyoung over BamBam’s shoulder and Jinyoung sent him a smile.

“I will help you with studying, okay? You’re going to pass this, we have two weeks,” Jinyoung said with a shrug.

Yugyeom grimaced. “But what if I can’t pass? And now I’m going to fuck up the choreography because I won’t be able to focus, it’s just great. Let’s go and get this over with.”

“Shut the hell up, kid,” BamBam slapped at Yugyeom’s arm. “You’re too good to be worrying about shit like that. Your boyfriend said he’s gonna help you with algebra, yeah? You’re going to pass and today you’re going to represent our school like a pro. Come on,” he said, ruffling Yugyeom’s hair and then marching out of the bathroom.

“You got this, Yugyeom-ah,” Jinyoung said seriously, extending his hand towards Yugyeom who looked at him with uncertainty in his eyes. “You really do,” he repeated, wanting Yugyeom to believe him. The younger boy caught his hand and tugged Jinyoung closer. Jinyoung didn’t even hesitate, he got on his tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to Yugyeom’s lips, feeling how Yugyeom relaxes under his touch.

Yugyeom hooked his fingers in the collar of Jinyoung’s sweatshirt, moving back to look at him with a smile. “Thank you.”

“Hey, love birds,” BamBam called, pushing the doors to the bathroom opened again. “The showcase is starting in five minutes, move it.”

Jinyoung flipped him off but then started to walk after BamBam, still holding Yugyeom’s hand in his own one.

Mark, Youngjae and Jinyoung were sitting in the first row under the stage, watching the performances and waiting for their friends to come out. They were fourth in the line; first the whole group danced to _Hero_ by Monsta X that smoothly changed into iKON’s _B-Day_. Mark was in charge of recording their dance but when Jackson slipped and fucked up one step, Mark was laughing too hard to hold the camera straight and Jinyoung had to take it, at the same time slapping Mark upside the head because the people behind them were getting annoyed. But Mark just couldn’t stop and, alright, it was funny but to be fair Jackson quickly got up and acted as if nothing had happened. Jinyoung could see that Yugyeom, who was the closest to Jackson, is barely keeping a straight face too.

When the group finished, it was time for the orchestra from their school to play. Youngjae, Mark and Jinyoung quickly made their way backstage.

“What was that, Jackson-ah? Jaebum told you to improvise again?” Mark mocked as soon as he noticed the shorter boy. Jackson flipped him off with both hands for emphasis.

“The stage was slippery, fuck you,” Jackson muttered, clearly embarrassed by his mistake. Though the rest of the group didn’t seem that bothered.

“Oh, sure it was. That’s why Yugyeom-ah was able to keep dancing even when you fell in front of him,” Mark laughed, patting Jackson’s head. Jackson pushed him away. “I’m just kidding, don’t be mad.”

Jaebum stretched his arms over his head. “Don’t worry, Jackson-ah, it was good anyway. I’m more interested in why the hell was BamBam giggling like a five year old the whole time? It’s distracting as hell,” he pointed out accusingly, turning around to look at BamBam.

“I just imagined Jackson in _Dirty Dancing_. You know, the final scene, the girl is running towards him, he picks her up and then slips—” BamBam couldn’t finish because he burst into laughter again. Yugyeom, Youngjae and Jinyoung soon followed, making Jackson scowl even more.

Mark sighed and wrapped an arm around Jackson. “Hey now, leave our Patrick alone,” he said, trying to keep a straight face.

“You guys are such assholes, I can’t believe it,” Jackson huffed but this time he let Mark hug him instead of pushing him away. “I hope one of you will break a leg soon.”

Yugyeom and Jaebum needed to change clothes before their final performance so they left to another room. Jinyoung noticed BamBam on the side of the stage and walked up to him, looking at the orchestra on the stage and trying to figure out what was BamBam looking at. Or who.

“I knew it was him,” Jinyoung announced with a proud smirk. His eyes stopped at the boy who played saxophone in the first row.

“Hm?” BamBam asked absent-mindedly.

Jinyoung laughed, patting BamBam’s back. “Taehyung-ssi, huh? No wonder you didn’t want to jinx it, he’s a catch,” he admitted, tilting his head to one side. Taehyung was tall and looked as if he just walked out of a cover of Vogue with his pretty eyes, perfect skin and expensive clothes. He was so in BamBam’s type that it wasn’t even surprising BamBam found him interesting. But Taehyung was also very kind so Jinyoung was glad, BamBam could have always chosen worse, god knows he did so in the past.

BamBam just now shook out of his haze and turned towards Jinyoung with a slightly worried expression. “Don’t tell anyone, please. He’s just… He’s not ready to tell anyone and I don’t want to pressure him. I really care about him, hyung.”

Jinyoung smiled and pinched BamBam’s cheek. “Of course I won’t tell, it’s not my business. But I’m happy for you, Kunpimook.”

“Aaaand the talk is over,” BamBam sighed dramatically, turning around to walk away from a laughing Jinyoung.

But when Jinyoung turned around, the laugh died down in his throat. Yugyeom walked out of the changing room with eyes stuck to the screen of his phone; he was wearing tight black leather pants along with a simple white tank top, his hair was styled up and when Jinyoung walked closer, he could see golden glitter on Yugyeom’s cheekbones. Yugyeom looked up and stopped when his gaze fell on Jinyoung, head curiously tilting to one side.

“What do you think?” he asked with a smirk, gesturing to his outfit.

Jinyoung opened his mouth a few times, trying to form a coherent sentence which proved to be very difficult. “You’re… You’re very…”

“Handsome? Gorgeous? Beautiful?” Yugyeom suggested, looking at Jinyoung with clear amusement.

Jinyoung snorted at that, crossing arms over his chest. “Conceited, that for one.”

Yugyeom gasped, faking offence and then he took a step closer so that his chest was touching Jinyoung’s folded arms. “So you wouldn’t want to take me home with you, boyfriend?” he asked innocently, leaning slightly forward so their eyes could be at the same level. Jinyoung’s breath hitched in his throat but he still managed to keep a straight expression, raising an eyebrow in a mocking manner.

“Are you even of the legal age?”

Yugyeom’s body radiated heat and Jinyoung almost involuntarily let his eyes travel down from Yugyeom’s face to his neck and then towards toned arms exposed by the tank top. Jinyoung would probably never say it out loud but he really liked Yugyeom’s skin; it was so soft and had such warm color, Jinyoung never noticed things like that in other boys.

“Well, if I’m not then it’s kind of creepy with you looking at me like that,” Yugyeom chuckled lowly, leaning even more to bump Jinyoung’s nose with his own. Other than that he still wasn’t touching Jinyoung.

Jinyoung’s eyes snapped up. “Like what?” he asked with a scowl.

“Jinyoung-ssi, stop eye-fucking my dancer, we need to go!” Jaebum called from the other side of the room. Jinyoung turned his head towards the voice but then Yugyeom put a finger on Jinyoung’s face and made him look back.

“Like that,” Yugyeom said and he sounded way too pleased with himself. Jinyoung snorted and took a step back. Yugyeom quickly caught Jinyoung by his belt to keep him in place. “I’m not saying I don’t like it, though. Won’t you give me a good luck kiss?” he asked with a pout.

“I can kick your ass for good luck,” Jinyoung muttered with annoyance. But Yugyeom’s hand was still dangerously close to Jinyoung’s dick and it was making him feel things. Stupid Yugyeom.

Jinyoung sighed and then quickly put his hand on the back of Yugyeom’s neck to pull him down. He wanted to make the kiss short because Jaebum said they already have to go, but then Yugyeom opened his mouth and Jinyoung’s brain kind of shut down. He pressed forward, kissing Yugyeom deeper and making the boy moan quietly as his fingers tightened on Jinyoung’s belt.

“Alright, that’s enough. There are kids here,” Mark screeched, tugging at the back of Yugyeom’s tank top to drag him away from Jinyoung. Jinyoung stumbled a little forward at the sudden loss of contact.

“What kids?” he asked confused, frowning as he looked around to see all their friends watching him and Yugyeom.

“Yugyeom-ah. He’s a child, control yourself,” Mark answered, still dragging Yugyeom back. Yugyeom rolled his eyes but willingly took steps back to prevent both him and Mark from falling to the ground.

“I thought it was supposed to be fake,” Jackson noticed with a satisfied smirk, sitting on the couch in the corner of the room. “But you two seem pretty into it.”

Yugyeom raised his eyebrows. “What, like you and Mark-hyung?” he asked. Sometimes Jinyoung loved how petty this boy could be when it wasn’t directed at him.

Jackson sputtered. “I have literally no idea what you’re talking about, kid. Didn’t Jaebum-hyung say you have to go?”

“That’s what I thought,” Yugyeom snorted, tugging his shirt out of Mark’s grasp to follow Jaebum to the side of the stage.

Jinyoung shot Jackson a nasty glare, earning a smirk in return. It was fake and they all knew it, Jinyoung and Yugyeom just needed to practice so it _wouldn’t_ look fake in front of Jinyoung’s family. The logic was very simple, Jackson should be able to keep up.

Jinyoung had seen the choreography to _Baby Don’t Stop_ already but it was different this time. Yugyeom looked absolutely amazing on the stage and so did Jaebum, their outfits were the same and they seemed to glow in the lights above the stage, glitter on their faces looked like stardust. Fortunately this time Mark took the camera because Jinyoung was sure he wouldn’t be able to hold it. What he _was_ holding was his breath as he watched two boys on the stage. Yugyeom was so scared that he’ll mess up but right now he looked more confident than he did in the last few weeks, his moves were fluid and so in sync with Jaebum as if they were dancing together from the moment they’ve learnt how to walk. Their dance was different from the choreography from the music video to the song but it still fit the mood perfectly.

“Holy shit,” Youngjae muttered from next to Jinyoung.

Jinyoung could relate. White tank top was clinging to Yugyeom’s chest by the end of the song and the last few seconds were really painful probably to every gay person in the room, not only Jinyoung. The difference was that Yugyeom was fucking looking straight at Jinyoung when he finished the choreography and there was literally nothing innocent about that as Yugyeom mouthed _baby don’t stop_. Jinyoung wanted to punch Yugyeom’s lips. With his lips. Preferably right now.

The music ended and BamBam was out of his seat as the first one of them, whistling loudly. The rest soon followed and Jinyoung was clapping his hands for the duo that definitely deserved it. Yugyeom and Jaebum were grinning like idiots, bowing to the loud audience, then they looked at each other and laughed, clearly content with the way they danced.

Jinyoung couldn’t stop smiling. Seeing Yugyeom so happy was definitely one of the best things ever.

**− ii –**

Yugyeom grabbed his bag and walked into the corridor, nodding his head for Jinyoung to follow him. It was embarrassing how fast Jinyoung did so, looking back to his friends that were too busy with food to notice anything else. Jaebum already showered and now it was Yugyeom’s turn, then they needed to get to the basketball game as fast as they could. Otherwise the team would have to play without their captain.

Jinyoung frowned at the empty hallway and slowly moved forward. Suddenly someone grabbed his hand and dragged him to one of the rooms that turned out to be a bathroom with six shower stalls divided by thin walls. Jinyoung gasped with surprise when Yugyeom closed the doors and pushed Jinyoung up against them, crashing their lips together. Yugyeom’s body was hot and sweaty, the white shirt still clung to his skin, the boy put his hands on Jinyoung’s waist and squeezed, licking Jinyoung’s lips and asking for entrance. Jinyoung immediately opened his mouth, holding onto Yugyeom’s arms and running his fingers up on the soft skin until they were on Yugyeom’s neck. Unexpectedly and without a warning, Yugyeom pushed his thigh between Jinyoung’s legs and rocked his body forward, making Jinyoung moan loudly. Everything was happening so fast that Jinyoung had troubles with grasping it all with his mind, his head was spinning from every sensation his body received upon Yugyeom’s actions.

“Shit, no, wait,” Jinyoung muttered, moving his head back. They were both panting and Jinyoung was already painfully hard but they really did _not_ have time for that and Mark would kill them if they were late. Another thing was how they’d explain their delay, because Jinyoung certainly would not want to be the one to do so. “Shower. You need to–”

“Did you like the dance?” Yugyeom interrupted breathlessly, sneaking his fingers underneath Jinyoung’s sweatshirt to run them over the naked skin on Jinyoung’s hipbones.  

Shivers ran up his skin under the touch and Jinyoung was nodding before he could even think about it. Yugyeom smiled happily and Jinyoung really was weak, he couldn’t understand how Yugyeom could go from sexy to adorable in less than two seconds. The younger boy dipped his head and attached his lips to Jinyoung’s neck, kissing his way down to Jinyoung’s collarbone to lightly graze it with his teeth. Jinyoung inhaled sharply, making Yugyeom look up at him with a glint in his dark eyes.

“You like it, don’t you?” he asked quietly, leaning forward to be closer to Jinyoung’s ear. Jinyoung closed his eyes, trying to control the beating of his heart that was getting faster by each second. “You like it when I bite you,” Yugyeom stated in a hoarse voice and then his teeth gently closed on Jinyoung’s earlobe.

And, _holy fuck_ , Jinyoung had no idea he was into that. “You need to take a shower,” he uttered, his voice breaking a little. Jinyoung would probably feel pathetic if he wasn’t so turned on and right now he was well past the point of being sheepish in front of Yugyeom.

“Mhm,” Yugyeom murmured and took a step back, catching Jinyoung’s hand to drag him forward towards one of the shower stalls. “I think you should take one, too.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened at the implication but before he could find his voice again, Yugyeom pushed him to the stall and walked in right behind Jinyoung. “No, wait, our clothes–” Jinyoung protested, as if that was the most important thing right now. Jinyoung had no idea what exactly were they doing, so long they never went further than making out here and there but now it didn’t seem like any of them wanted to stop.

Yugyeom silenced Jinyoung with a lingering kiss, reaching an arm around him. Suddenly a spray of lukewarm water hit the back of Jinyoung’s head and the boy yelped with surprise, breaking the kiss to shot Yugyeom an annoyed glare. Yugyeom smiled innocently and then his hands were under Jinyoung’s sweatshirt again, tugging it upwards although a little hesitantly.

“Is that okay?” Yugyeom asked in a strangely small voice, eyes intent on Jinyoung’s face.

Jinyoung thought about it for a moment, actually forcing himself to let his head decide instead of his dick. There was a reason he limited their… activities to kissing, it was about as much as he could take without crossing a line he wouldn’t be able to come back from. It was strange because two weeks ago being in a situation like that wouldn’t even be on the last place on a list of things that absolutely couldn’t happen to Jinyoung, but right now everything was so confusing and Jinyoung would like to say that he knew what was going on inside his head. Maybe then he would be able to tell Yugyeom, too, but the truth was that with all of those ex-boyfriends and one night stands, Jinyoung still couldn’t find a word for the feeling he held for the boy who was in front of him right now. And on some level Jinyoung was aware of the fact that Yugyeom deserved more than that, even if he was only a convenient solution to Jinyoung’s sexual frustration—he should know that, too, because it seemed only fair.

But Jinyoung wasn’t better at dealing with difficult situations now than he was two weeks ago. The only thing he knew was that right now he didn’t want to let Yugyeom go.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he said eventually, raising his hands to let Yugyeom take off his sweatshirt. The water was warmer now and it created a pleasant sensation when it ran down Jinyoung’s back, and even though Jinyoung knew it’s a bad idea because he didn’t even have any other clothes with him, he still took a step back to be fully under the shower.

Suddenly he felt really insecure, being half-naked in front of someone as good looking as Yugyeom, because Jinyoung knew he’s not anything special and his body wasn’t either, but then he noticed Yugyeom’s expression and it was as if something broke inside of Jinyoung. Yugyeom was looking at him like Jinyoung was worth something, like he was something better than in reality, and it _hurt—_ for some reason it hurt like hell because no one has looked at Jinyoung like that before and he couldn’t understand why Yugyeom would do so. The younger boy slowly let his fingers skim over Jinyoung’s stomach, stepping forward so he was under the water, too. It quickly made his white tank top cling to his skin, almost transparent now, and then Yugyeom took it off, letting the piece of clothing fall to the white tiles under their feet. And—alright, now Jinyoung really wanted to cover himself up because _damn_. But this urge was overwhelmed by the need to touch and so Jinyoung did, going up from Yugyeom’s shoulders down his chest and abs; Yugyeom’s body was toned but at the same time soft and Jinyoung couldn’t get enough, especially when he felt shivers underneath his palms.

Jinyoung tugged Yugyeom closer and started to kiss every inch of the skin he could reach, letting his tongue run over Yugyeom’s neck, his pulse point and then both of his collarbones. Yugyeom’s hands were roaming until they stopped at Jinyoung’s belt again.

“Do you want me to—ah, shit,” he murmured when Jinyoung sucked on Yugyeom’s skin just above his nipple. “Do you want to—” he tried again, moving his palm flat against Jinyoung’s crotch. Jinyoung groaned, sensitive even through two layers of clothing, and then he looked up at Yugyeom whose face was earnest but unsure. Jinyoung knew it’s not the first time Yugyeom was doing something like that but he looked like it was, what with the innocent expression.

Jinyoung smiled softly. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, Yugyeom-ah. We don’t have to do anything more,” he assured the younger boy and he was sincere. He would never pressure Yugyeom into doing anything he didn’t want to do himself. “We don’t have much time, either.”

Yugyeom chuckled at that, biting his bottom lip for a moment as if he was thinking about something. Then his face broke in a grin that just screamed _bad idea_. “In that case, just wash my hair for me, alright?” he asked, quickly moving away. He walked out of the stall and came back a few seconds later after roaming in his bag.

“What are you—” Jinyoung started with confusion, but then Yugyeom pushed a shower gel into his hands and suddenly got down to his knees in front of a shocked Jinyoung. “Yugyeom—”

“Shh, just get to washing.” Yugyeom smirked at him as his long fingers fiddled with Jinyoung’s belt, undoing it along with the zipper of Jinyoung’s black jeans. At this point Jinyoung’s brain was short-circuiting because the whole situation just escalated so quickly, leaving him no time to actually sort everything out. He was so dumbfounded that he just simply opened the gel and squeezed some of it on his hand, throwing the bottle aside.

Yugyeom pushed Jinyoung’s jeans down to his ankles, boxers following a few seconds later. Jinyoung bit his bottom lip, looking down at the boy in front of him. He tried not to think of everything that could go wrong because of what they were doing now and just let himself enjoy it while it lasted. Jinyoung gently moved his fingers into Yugyeom’s wet hair, threading it and trying not to pull too much.

“Tell me if it’s good, okay?” Yugyeom asked softly, wrapping his hand around Jinyoung’s erection. Jinyoung sucked in a breath through his teeth because he was already hard and sensitive enough without even being touched, right now all his nerves were on edge and Yugyeom started to slowly move up and down, resting his free hand against Jinyoung’s thigh.

Jinyoung forced himself to move his fingers in circular motions because Yugyeom’s idea wasn’t stupid, it was efficient. But Jinyoung couldn’t help thinking that he had never, ever done anything like that before and he had slept with a fair share of guys in his life. He would never even think about washing their hair while they went down on him and he would find the idea ridiculous, but with Yugyeom it was just… nice. Maybe not the best word to describe it, but yeah.

Jinyoung’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted when Yugyeom changed a hand for his mouth, letting his tongue circle around the tip of Jinyoung’s dick. Jinyoung cursed loudly, clenching his fingers on Yugyeom’s hair probably harder than he should have, seeing as Yugyeom growled around Jinyoung’s erection.

“Fuck, maybe warn a guy first,” Jinyoung muttered, slowly loosening his grip when Yugyeom started to move his head. “Shit, I’m not gonna—I’m not gonna last long,” he breathed out. Yugyeom hummed shortly and the sound vibrated on Jinyoung’s skin, making him moan quietly.

Yugyeom slowly moved his head down, drawing Jinyoung’s cock into his mouth, taking as much as he could without choking and pumping the rest with his hand. Jinyoung had no idea how soundproof the bathroom was but he did know that the sound he just made was way too loud so he harshly bit on his bottom lip to stop himself from crying out loud. His hands were holding onto Yugyeom’s hair and Jinyoung needed to muster up all his self-control to stop his hips from buckling forward because he wanted to let Yugyeom do his own thing, and—admittedly—Yugyeom was pretty fucking good at that. Jinyoung couldn’t remember when was the last time someone gave him a blowjob, all his bedroom related stuff lately came down to a quick fuck just to blow off the steam, he barely even kissed the people he slept with, but right now Yugyeom was taking his sweet time and it was mind-blowing. Yugyeom swallowed around Jinyoung’s dick and then withdrew his head to lick a line along the member, in the end twirling his tongue over the tip.

Jinyoung looked down and his already rapid breaths quickened because Yugyeom looked absolutely gorgeous, kneeling on the white shower tiles with his mouth wrapped around Jinyoung and long eyelashes casting shadows over his flushed cheeks. Jinyoung knew he won’t be able to forget this sight for a long time, maybe never. But then Yugyeom opened his eyes and his gaze locked with Jinyoung’s, and Jinyoung could swear that it was enough to set him off. Something clenched in the pit of his stomach and Jinyoung knew he won’t be able to hold it in any longer.

“Wait, shit… Yugyeomie, stop—I’m gonna…” he tried to say, but Yugyeom only batted his eyelashes and sucked Jinyoung off more eagerly now, not moving away even when Jinyoung’s body shook with his orgasm. Yugyeom’s fingers squeezed against Jinyoung’s thigh as he swallowed everything down, waiting for Jinyoung to finish. Jinyoung leaned against the wall and let his eyes close, trying not to whimper when Yugyeom slowly slid his overly sensitive cock out of his mouth.

Yugyeom wiped his lips with the back of his hand and stood up, looking at Jinyoung with a pleased expression. Jinyoung absent-mindedly swatted at his chest, briefly noticing the red mark he left there earlier. Jinyoung’s legs felt weak and his heart seemed to actually hurt from how fast it was beating, but Jinyoung hasn’t been this satisfied in months so he couldn’t even bring himself to care about much else, let alone overthinking the situation they were both in right now. Because that definitely wasn’t a part of the plan.

“Yugyeomie, huh?” Yugyeom muttered, nuzzling his head against Jinyoung’s neck. Jinyoung tried to push him off but he was too weak and Yugyeom stood his ground, laughing quietly. “I like it,” he admitted, leaving small pecks along Jinyoung’s shoulder. “Alright, now get out. I need to wash myself.”

Jinyoung blinked quickly, furrowing his eyebrows. “But don’t you want me to—”

“Nah, it’s fine. I have extra clothes in my bag, you can wear them,” the boy said and smiled cheekily, stepping back so Jinyoung could dress himself. He quickly got out of the shower to change the wet clothes and let Yugyeom finish.

In the end they were late anyway, the rest of the group was already waiting by Jinyoung’s car when they both finally stumbled out of the venue; Yugyeom still with wet hair stuck to his forehead. Jinyoung had Yugyeom’s grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt but if anyone noticed, they didn’t get the chance to comment on it because Mark got to them first and then his lecture lasted for the whole ride.

Jinyoung looked to the rearview mirror and caught Yugyeom’s eyes, smirking at the boy who winked back at him. Right now Jinyoung didn’t even care that all their friends knew they weren’t late because they got lost. It was fine.

**− iii –**

“Oi, champ, will you stop ignoring us when we’re drinking for you?”

Mark’s voice got to Jinyoung a little late because he was too busy staring at Yugyeom who was staring back at him and fixing his hair. To be fair, they were both a little tipsy already and they really enjoyed each other’s company, not paying much attention to the other people gathered around the table. Jinyoung was just too happy right now to care about appearances, their team had won the finals for the first time since Mark became a captain; it wasn’t an effortless win, they only had two more points in the end but they managed to do so without any injuries on their part and now they were coming back with a trophy.

“Who’s ignoring who?” Jinyoung asked, frowning when Yugyeom gently moved his bangs from one side to another. “Is it okay?” he turned towards the boy again, voice softer.

Yugyeom considered him for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah, pretty.”

“I don’t know whether I’m happy you two act so cute around each other now or I miss the way you used to try to kill each other,” Jackson stated, looking at the both of them with squinted eyes from the other end of the table. He was slowly rolling the bottle around, stirring his beer.

Yugyeom stuck his tongue out, wrapping an arm around Jinyoung. “You’re just jealous because you don’t have a cute boyfriend yourself.”

“Speaking of cute, where are Jaebum-hyung and Youngjae-ah?” BamBam piped in, looking around the bar. Suddenly Yugyeom straightened on his seat and withdrew his arm, appearing nervous.

“I–uh, I’m going to look for them,” he volunteered quickly, before anyone else had the chance to. Yugyeom got out of his seat in a blink of an eye, leaving a confused Jinyoung behind. But he wasn’t going to just wait, he waved a hand at the rest of the group and stumbled out after his fake boyfriend, swerving in between the people that were lining up for another drinks.

Jinyoung didn’t drink that much but it was enough to change his perception a little and it took him way longer to get out of the bar than he’d like. His gaze swerved over a few guys that seemed to be fighting as he was looking for Yugyeom but then his head snapped back so fast he was scared he got himself a whiplash. One of the fighting guys was Yugyeom who was trying to shelter Youngjae with his own body as three strangers shouted obscenities at both him and Jaebum. Jinyoung didn’t even think before running up to them and assessing the situation with one look; Youngjae had blood dripping from his mouth and Jaebum was cradling his face in his hands, trying to see the damage while Yugyeom pushed another guy away.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” the boy screamed and Jinyoung had never seen him so furious before, not even when he fought with Jinyoung.

One of the, very obviously drunk, guys growled. “What, you a faggot like them?” he asked, pointing towards the pair hidden behind Yugyeom.

Jinyoung frowned, confused. His brain was working slower than normally but he still understood what had happened; those guys must have seen Youngjae and Jaebum doing—what exactly? Jinyoung chanced a glance at his best friends but when he saw how small Youngjae seemed just then, how vulnerable the boy was, Jinyoung’s blood boiled and he didn’t think before swinging at the drunkard closest to him, sending the guy down to the ground. His friends reacted immediately, charging at Jinyoung only to be stopped by Yugyeom. Suddenly all hell broke loose when Jinyoung heard Mark’s scream from somewhere behind him, he got distracted for a moment and ended up being punched square on the jaw. He spit out blood just when Jackson jumped from behind Jinyoung to protect him from a man who was much bigger than both of them. But not bigger than BamBam who suddenly twisted the guy’s arm so hard they could all hear bones cracking.

For a moment everything was blurry, Jinyoung could hear screams and loud footsteps, someone threatening to call the police. When he was able to actually see everything again, Yugyeom was lying on the ground with face hidden in his hands, Youngjae was crying with Jaebum’s arms wrapped around him, Jackson’s nose was bleeding just like Mark’s forehead and BamBam’s knuckles. But the drunk guys were gone as fast as they appeared earlier.

“Can someone tell me what the hell just happened?” Mark asked in a stern voice, touching his forehead and cursing quietly when he saw blood. Jinyoung ignored the pain in his face and quickly kneeled next to Yugyeom.

“Are you—”

“How’s Youngjae?” the boy asked quietly, slowly moving hands away from his face. He wasn’t bleeding but he did look very pale. Jinyoung looked back to the person of interest but Youngjae was already running towards his best friend, completely ignoring the blood on his own face. “Baby, are you okay?” Yugyeom reached out for Youngjae and the smaller boy cried out, wrapping his arms around Yugyeom.

“I’m so sorry, oh my god, Gyeomie, I’m so sorry,” Youngjae kept mumbling with his head pushed in the crook of Yugyeom's neck. Everyone else kept quiet, too confused by everything that had happened so fast, they could just watch how the two boys clung to each other as if their life depended on it.

“It wasn’t your fault, don’t be stupid. Are you—Is Jaebum-hyung okay?”

“Are _you_ okay?” Jaebum asked back, still slumped against the wall of the building with an empty look on his face.

BamBam threw his hands up in exasperation. “Can someone tell us what was that about?!”

“I’ve won a bet,” Yugyeom said only before his eyes started to close. Jinyoung suddenly felt panic sweeping over him so strongly that it surprised him.

“Yugyeom, are you alright?” he asked, voice high and strained. But then Yugyeom was slipping from Youngjae’s arms and Jinyoung caught him in the last moment, preventing him from bumping his head against the cement.

Yugyeom passed out and Jinyoung thought he had never been this scared before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm terrible at scenes like this fndksnksdkgns  
> also don't ask me why taehyung is dating bambam, i have no idea  
> please tell me what you think!!


	8. "coming home" (ft. Jinyoung's anxiety)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, sorry for the delay! i don't have much time right now but i'll try to post at least once every two weeks, more often if i can. i hope you still like the story!!

**e i g h t**

**“coming home”  
(ft. Jinyoung’s anxiety)**

**− i –**

The nightmare was always _about_ the same thing but it was never _exactly_ the same, that much Yugyeom knew. Because while the memories of it were vague after waking up, the feelings associated with dreams differed depending on how vivid it was or how it ended.

This time everything started as always, Yugyeom felt happy and he knew his whole family was, too. It was a week after his fifteenth birthday and he had his first showcase ahead—he was in a car with his parents who chatted in the front while Yugyeom kept texting his sister, who was coming from college to watch him dance, and Youngjae, his only friend at the time. Youngjae was supposed to be on the showcase, too, if he managed to make it from his singing lessons and Yugyeom was excited because the leader of his dancing group trusted him enough to give him a full choreography, Yugyeom was the first member of the group to perform alone at such young age and he was as nervous as he was proud of himself. He knew he earned it, he was hardworking and even though Jinyoung had always called him a ballerina, Yugyeom was sure that modern dance will turn out as good.

It was raining outside, storm getting stronger with each hour but not serious enough to be mentioned on the radio, nothing about slippery roads and warnings to stay safe while driving. So it was okay, especially with the hyper atmosphere inside the car.

“Have I already told you how proud of you I am, Gyeomie?” Yugyeom’s mom asked, looking close to tears again. His dad smiled fondly at the woman before looking to the rear view mirror to roll his eyes at Yugyeom.

The boy chuckled as another thunder sounded not too far away. “Only about a hundred times, mama.”

“Well, I am. You’ve been doing so well and you’re only fifteen, dancing on your own showcase is big!” his mom announced, clapping her hands. She went into reminiscing her own years with the dance group when she was Yugyeom’s age and Yugyeom listened, even though he had already heard it dozens of times before, because his mother was as passionate about dancing as he was and this mutual understanding made them even closer than they already were ever since Yugyeom was little.

Everything was fine and Yugyeom was sure it will stay that way because on this day nothing could bring him down. Things were going so well for him, he had finally figured out his sexuality with the help of Youngjae and he was ready to tell his parents, sure they’d accept him, the nightmares that had been bugging him since he turned eleven finally gave him a break—it had been three months since the last one. Yugyeom was happy, he really was.

But then his father cursed and it already made Yugyeom wary because dad never cursed before. Yugyeom raised his head from the phone to see red lights in front of their car and it was the last thing he actually saw before the world went dark.

Yugyeom had often read that victims of car accidents usually commented the memories of those moments as blurry but it wasn’t like that for him. He couldn’t remember seeing anything from the accident itself, but he remembered everything he’s heard; squeak of tires on the wet road as his dad frantically tried to maneuver the car, his mother’s gentle gasp and her words _I love you both_ right before the impact, as if she knew, the sound of Yugyeom’s phone falling under the seats and little bells announcing new messages, a scream—his own. He remembered that it hurt, it hurt so much because the seat belt knocked the breath out of him and almost choked him, his leg cracked, somehow stuck under the driver’s seat. He remembered that he tried to hold onto the seat in front of him but everything was spinning and Yugyeom was falling, falling forward until his forehead bumped on the headrest and the last thing he saw was his mother slouched forward with blood on her face. So much blood.

And it was all his fault, if it wasn’t for his showcase, they would have been home during such bad weather. Nothing would have happened. It should have been him getting the worst of it and instead his mama… She—

_“Yugyeom. Yugyeom-ah. Yugyeom.”_

Yugyeom woke up with a start and immediately groaned. His head was throbbing, he felt as if he had sand under his eyelids and something was tugging at hist right hand. When he looked down, he noticed white bandage taped to his hand and a wire going to a monitor next to the bed. Hospital, amazing.

“Are you okay?” a soft voice asked. On a chair next to the bed was Youngjae, looking at Yugyeom with so much concern on his face that it hurt Yugyeom more than all physical pain he was in.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, trying to reach Youngjae with his free hand only to notice that his best friend was already clutching his fingers tightly. “I’ve told you that you won’t have to see me like that and…”

“Don’t. Don’t do that, please. It’s my fault you’re here,” Youngjae answered quietly, eyes filling with tears. “Well, mostly. The doctor said that besides concussion, you’ve been dehydrated and sleep-deprived. But still, if it wasn’t for me…”

“Are you kidding me? Homophobia is not your fault, babe. I’m just an idiot for getting myself into this situation again. I’ve tried my best but I’m just… I guess I’m kind of shit at taking care of myself,” Yugyeom admitted with a small smile, earning a strangled chuckle out of Youngjae. “But how is everyone else? Jaebum-hyung?”

Youngjae sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “We're all okay, those were just minor injuries. And about Jaebum-hyung... We… Uh, we kind of had to tell the rest about us so you’ve won quite a lot of money on us. I expect you to share,” the boy said jokingly, playing with Yugyeom’s fingers.

“Of course, as long as you don’t tell the rest that I blatantly cheated because I knew from you that you two are together,” Yugyeom shrugged. Their group had an annoying habit of making bets about everything and Yugyeom usually worked with either Youngjae or BamBam to win because it was more efficient, not like the others never tried to cheat. “But how does Jaebum-hyung feel about all of it?”

“I don’t really know. I mean, everyone reacted the way I expected them to, they’re very supportive. Especially Mark-hyung was sweet about it, comforting me when he saw how nervous I was. But I haven’t talked to Jaebum-hyung alone yet so… I guess I’ll have to wait,” Youngjae smiled. He didn’t seem as nervous about the whole thing now, maybe when it was out in the open it would be easier for Jaebum to show affection in public, something Youngjae always craved; not in an exaggerated way, Yugyeom knew his best friend just wanted to be able to at least hold Jaebum’s hand.

Suddenly there was a sound in the corner of the room and Yugyeom’s head snapped in that direction, eyes widening at the sight. Jinyoung was sitting in one of the chairs with his head leaned back, eyes closed and breathing slow—he was asleep.

Youngjae giggled at Yugyeom’s surprise. “He’s been here ever since you were checked in. You’ve been unconscious for eighteen hours, Gyeomie, and Jinyoung-hyung didn’t want to leave even when Mark-hyung threatened to cut holes in all Jinyoung’s favorite shirts.”

Something twisted in Yugyeom’s chest. “Has he eaten anything? Have _you_ eaten?” he asked with squinted eyes, looking from one boy to the other. Jinyoung caring about him was too weird to think about now.

“I did, don’t worry. I’m not sure about him, though,” Youngjae said, nodding towards Jinyoung. Then he yawned, covering his mouth.

Yugyeom looked at him fondly. “You should go get some rest, honey. I’ll ask doctor later when can I check out and I’ll let you guys know, okay?” he suggested, brushing Youngjae’s hair from his forehead. The boy leaned into the touch and Yugyeom felt warm all over. He was glad Youngjae was here because after the nightmare his presence was enough to make Yugyeom feel good.

“You’re sure you don’t want me to stay?” Youngjae asked concerned.

“Nah, I don’t want you to tire yourself anymore. Besides, this idiot’s still here,” Yugyeom sighed, pointing towards Jinyoung who muttered something in his sleep and let his head fall to one side. Yugyeom barely contained a smile.

Youngjae finally decided that he should get some sleep himself and made Yugyeom promise to call him right away when they let him leave so Mark could come get him. Once he left, Yugyeom slowly dragged the pillow from behind his back and aimed it at Jinyoung, trying not to pull at the IV connected to his right palm, then he threw it, making the older boy shot up from the chair.

“Easy there, old man, or I’ll have to free the bed for you when you get a stroke,” Yugyeom mocked. Jinyoung looked at him but instead of annoyance, his face turned into such relived expression that Yugyeom’s heart tightened. “What? I’m not dead.”

“You scared the hell out of me,” Jinyoung sighed, quickly taking Youngjae’s place next to the bed.

Yugyeom moved uncomfortably under Jinyoung’s attentive stare, he still wasn’t used to that even after a month of being “together”. He guessed that after fourteen years of ﬁghting it was kind of hard to see the other side of Jinyoung. It’s not like Yugyeom didn’t know Jinyoung was a good person, he saw him around Jinyoung’s younger brother after all, but he just never thought this kindness will ever be directed at him. He also had no idea how their relationship will look a week from now, when all this is over. Yugyeom sighed, thinking about this still wasn’t pleasant.

“I’m sorry for ruining the night. And I know you wanted us to leave today to be home on Monday so—” Yugyeom started, not sure what time it was. He just knew it’s already Saturday and he messed up Jinyoung’s plan. He also knew that he’s tired and that morphine wasn’t working so good anymore.

“No, you—” Jinyoung rushed out, interrupting Yugyeom while leaning slightly forward. “I’ve already called my parents and told them that I’m not sure we can make it at all,” he added, making Yugyeom frown. But he didn’t get a chance to ask questions because Jinyoung just kept talking. “You should stay in bed for _at least_ a week and the doctor said you’re overworked, I’m not going to drag you halfway through the country just because my family wants to meet you. You need to take care of yourself, my sister didn’t want me there in the ﬁrst place,” the boy ﬁnally ﬁnished, shrugging and looking at Yugyeom from under his long eyelashes. He seemed tired.

When Yugyeom actually understood what Jinyoung was saying his eyes widened. Jinyoung went as far as to ask _Yugyeom,_ out of all people, to help him and now he was ready to cancel his plans just because Yugyeom got hurt. This wasn’t pretend, Jinyoung seemed to actually care about Yugyeom’s wellbeing and this was a small revelation.

“I said I would help you,” Yugyeom started slowly, moving his gaze down to the IV connected to his palm. “And I will, if you’re not ashamed to take home someone who looks like this,” he vaguely gestured towards his bruised face. He was aware that he doesn’t really look like the perfect boyfriend Jinyoung signed up for. Not that under any other circumstances Yugyeom would have been Jinyoung’s ﬁrst choice for that role.

Jinyoung was quiet for a moment and then Yugyeom could feel ﬁngers under his chin turning his head up and towards Jinyoung. He was gentle, eyes ﬁlled with genuine worry as they skimmed over Yugyeom’s face. “You just can’t stop getting hurt, can you?” he asked softly and it was too much for Yugyeom.

It was too much because he was in love with that boy and he couldn’t kill this feeling when Jinyoung treated him like that. But Yugyeom was too tired to use the only defense mechanism he knew would work on Jinyoung, he was too tired to get mad and start a fight. The room was dark and quiet, and it made Yugyeom want to be honest–if not with Jinyoung, then at least with himself. He curled the fingers of his free hand in Jinyoung’s shirt, tugging him closer. Jinyoung went willingly; when Yugyeom used to try to casually kiss him in the beginning of their arrangement, Jinyoung always hesitated a little too long but now it felt natural.

The kiss was slow, Jinyoung moved his hand from Yugyeom’s chin to his cheek and gently caressed the skin there, careful not to press on the bruise. Yugyeom’s heart fluttered in his chest and he shut his eyes, tilting his head just a tad bit to deepen the kiss and try to stop thinking about anything at all. Tomorrow he would go back to their hometown with Jinyoung and a week from now everything would be the way it was their whole lives — it was that simple, Yugyeom shouldn’t have made it complicated.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Jinyoung muttered, breaking the kiss but staying close enough to make their lips brush with each word. “What’s wrong?”

Yugyeom slightly shook his head. “No, just—Kiss me again, okay?”

Jinyoung looked at him like he wanted to ask questions but instead he just nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

And so he did until a nurse walked in a few minutes later, shooting Jinyoung annoyed glances.

“Sweetheart,” she turned to Yugyeom. “Your morphine has been down for over half an hour now, why didn’t you press the button? You must be in pain,” she cooed, walking over to the bed to check Yugyeom’s vitals. She looked at Jinyoung as if every bad thing in the world was caused by him but when she moved her gaze to Yugyeom her face melted in smiles.

Yugyeom smirked, he wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t enjoy this situation and Jinyoung was very aware of that fact as he lightly punched Yugyeom’s shoulder.

“Why didn’t you tell me, asshole?” Jinyoung huffed with annoyance, crossing arms over his chest.

“Because I was feeling fine, stop making a fuss,” Yugyeom rolled his eyes, leaning back on the pillow and closing his eyes. Okay, now he wasn’t feeling fine at all. Apparently his body finally decided to catch up with his brain and the aftereffects of the fight got to him. It must have been visible on his face because Jinyoung only punched him harder. “Oi, I’ve been injured! You can’t hit me!”

“Serves you right,” Jinyoung smiled with satisfaction. But then the nurse slapped him upside the head, making Yugyeom laugh out loud. “What was that for?! I’m just taking care of him!” he yelled outraged.

The nurse pressed the button with morphine and then jabbed her finger into Jinyoung’s chest. “How long ago have I told you to go home? This ain’t a hotel and you’re disturbing the patient! Sweetheart,” the woman turned towards Yugyeom again, her whole demeanor softening. “Do you want me to take him out?”

Jinyoung opened his eyes wider in disbelief, moving his gaze from Yugyeom to the nurse and back. And as funny as that would be, Yugyeom shook his head with a smile.

“You’re so kind but it’s not necessary, I want him to stay,” he said because it was true. Maybe it was selfish but he didn’t want to be alone in the hospital for another night.

Jinyoung scoffed but Yugyeom could see the way a corner of his mouth moved a little up in a barely contained smile.

Yeah, Jinyoung wanted to stay, too.

**− ii –**

“When are you going to tell him?” BamBam asked, looking Yugyeom over and then opening his closet to search for a suit that would fit his friend. They were about the same height and weight so it shouldn’t be a problem but BamBam had a hard time after Yugyeom told him he doesn’t own even one suit appropriate for a wedding. It was such a waste; Yugyeom would look absolutely stunning in a suit, of that BamBam was sure.

“Hm? Tell who what?” Yugyeom asked absent-mindedly, texting someone on his phone.

BamBam rolled his eyes, taking out a soft sweater in a pastel pink color. “Tell Jinyoung-hyung. Hey, do you want this sweater? I’ve bought it last week but I feel like it would look better on you, also it matches your highlights,” he said, throwing the sweater Yugyeom’s way. The boy perked up and touched the sweater, then he folded it and put under his head as a pillow, smiling happily. His mood seemed to be exceptionally good today, despite the bruises and two nights at the hospital.

“I have jeans for you in my dorm, they’re too tight for me so they should be good on you. Just remind me later. And tell Jinyoung what exactly?” Yugyeom raised an eyebrow but his eyes were still stuck to the screen and by the dumb smile on his face BamBam concluded that he was not being listened to at all.

“That you’re in love with him,” BamBam replied casually, leaning against the closet to watch Yugyeom’s reaction. The boy promptly lost his grip on the phone that fell on his forehead with the sound of a harsh slap. Yugyeom groaned with displeasure, rolling to his side to throw the phone off his face.

“I’m not—"

BamBam raised a hand. “If you value our friendship in the slightest, don’t lie to me.”

Yugyeom sighed and massaged his forehead in the place where his phone hit. “I—is it that obvious?” he asked instead of coming up with an excuse. His face looked really vulnerable just then and BamBam kind of regretted asking about it. Yugyeom was overall a confident person, so to see him so uncertain about something was unsettling at the very least. From the two of them it was always BamBam that looked for the advice from Yugyeom, not the other way around and maybe that’s why BamBam just expected Yugyeom to know what to do in every situation. But in moments like this one he reminded himself that Yugyeom is still just a human being and he can be confused as well.

To say that discovering Yugyeom’s love for Jinyoung was groundbreaking for BamBam would be an understatement because he honestly didn’t see that one coming. Jackson kept talking shit about sexual tension, hate to love, and all that crap but BamBam was never into that kind of thing and he knew how much Yugyeom _actually_ despised Jinyoung; that wasn’t sexual tension, at least not in the beginning when BamBam had met Yugyeom three years ago. It was an actual and very reciprocated hate born out of petty childishness that grew into something heavy throughout the years. BamBam had no idea when it changed; before or after Jinyoung asked for a favor, but it was very visible how both their behaviors towards each other changed. BamBam liked to think that he knows Yugyeom almost as well as Youngjae, and he noticed the soft smiles Yugyeom had while looking at Jinyoung, the light touches that seemed almost subconscious as if Yugyeom just wanted to make sure Jinyoung is there. Yugyeom didn’t love with confidence, his infatuation was fragile just like his way of showing it, but for someone who knew him the signs were pretty obvious.

Of course, not for everyone.

“No, for Jinyoung it sure as hell isn’t obvious,” BamBam answered because he knew it was really what Yugyeom was asking, and also because it was simply true. “But he’s as oblivious as a brick wall, so there’s that,” he shrugged, making Yugyeom giggle nervously. “You should tell him, what’s the worst that can happen?”

Yugyeom looked at BamBam incredulously, slowly moving to sit up on the bed. “Uh, he could hear me?” the boy asked in a tone that said it should be obvious. BamBam rolled his eyes again. “Why didn’t you tell me about Taehyung?”

“Stop changing the topic!” BamBam shrieked, crossing arms over his chest. Yugyeom looked at him funnily to which BamBam could only sigh loudly. “I didn’t tell you because it’s nothing serious yet and I didn’t want to freak him out, and knowing you Youngjae would know soon enough, then Jaebum-hyung and then you know how it goes. It’s always like that with y’all bunch of nosy fuckers, this is why I’m not telling you anything.”

“Well, that’s just offensive. But also true. So, Taehyung? He’s cute. Jeongguk just told me that whenever Tae receives a message from you, he can’t stop smiling,” Yugyeom informed him, picking up his phone and opening the chat with Jeongguk to show BamBam his message. BamBam shrugged, acting indifferent even though he could barely stop his own smile.

“Why are you both gossiping about us? Nothing better to do?” he scoffed, turning towards the closet and taking out one of his better suits. “Here, this one should do good. If you and Jinyoung decide to get married instead of his sister then it will be fine, too.”

Yugyeom was about to answer when another voice sounded from the doorway.

“I imagine that my mother wouldn’t be thrilled by that,” Jinyoung said with a smirk, leaning against the doorframe. Mark pushed his way into the room, making Jinyoung stumble a little and blindly swat at his older friend.

“But your father would fly to the moon if he’s still convinced you’ll die alone,” Mark answered, walking over to gently ruffle Yugyeom’s hair and dump a water bottle on his lap. “How’re you feeling?” he asked, lying down and nudging Yugyeom’s legs. Yugyeom adjusted his position, leaning against the bed frame so Mark could curl up next to him and put his head on Yugyeom’s thighs.

“Good, my head hurts a little but I took my medicine earlier so it should be fine in an hour or so,” Yugyeom answered truthfully, slowly running his hand through Mark’s blonde hair. He promised his hyungs that he’ll be more honest with them in regards to his health so he was trying his best even if it was kind of hard. “Jinyoung, when are we leaving?” he asked, raising his head to look at Jinyoung who just flopped to his own bed.

Jinyoung put a hand over his eyes and yawned. “When your head stops hurting,” the boy answered with a shrug and Yugyeom could feel a slight pull at his heart. He subconsciously looked towards BamBam who was watching him with a soft smile.

Yugyeom only shook his head; he couldn’t tell Jinyoung, even if in BamBam’s opinion it was the most obvious solution. It just wasn’t that easy.

**− iii –**

Jinyoung squeezed the steering wheel and took a deep breath, looking through the car window at the house standing on the other side of the street. Everything was just like Jinyoung remembered: a big white building with two floors and a big garden surrounding it, a dark wooden fence running around to close with a high metal gate. On the outside it looked fancy but Jinyoung knew how messy it is inside, what with all the kids that grew up in there.

“You know you don’t have to do it, right?”

Jinyoung jumped slightly when he heard Yugyeom’s voice from the passenger seat. He turned around to look at the younger boy and his nerves somehow calmed down a little. Yugyeom put on make-up to cover his bruises even though Jinyoung told him it’s not necessary, he was wearing a nice pink sweater and black skinny jeans, his hair curled slightly at the ends making Jinyoung want to run his fingers through it.

“You don’t have to go at all or you can just go alone if you’re nervous. They probably won’t like me anyway,” Yugyeom added, shrugging his shoulders and playing with the seat belt.

Jinyoung frowned. “Don’t say that. Jinsook and Min-jung wouldn’t stop asking me about you, Young-kuk also really likes you, he seemed happy when he found out we’re together. I’m not nervous because I brought you home,” he assured honestly, unbuckling his belt and turning a little more towards Yugyeom. “I’m just afraid that a part of my family might be very… judgmental. I don’t want them to offend you.”

Yugyeom laughed at that, shaking his head. “I’m dealing with it every day since I came out, Jinyoung. I honestly don’t care at this point and you shouldn’t either. Now come on, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen at least three people looking at us through the windows and they might assume that we’re just making out in the car,” he smiled with a raised eyebrow, also undoing his seat belt and putting a hand on the handle.

Jinyoung caught his wrist to stop him for a moment and then leaned between their seats to press a short kiss to Yugyeom’s mouth. “I’d really prefer to make out in the car than go there,” he sighed, gently nudging Yugyeom’s nose with his own and making the boy giggle. Yugyeom cupped Jinyoung’s cheek in his hand and brushed his skin with a thumb, moving up to kiss his forehead. “Thank you for doing this. Oh, I almost forgot. I’ve put the first half of your money in your backpack when we stopped at the gas station earlier so I wouldn’t forget about it.”

Yugyeom frowned as if he wasn’t sure what Jinyoung was talking about but then his expression changed slightly. Yugyeom moved back and nodded but he didn’t say anything to that, instead getting out of the car. Jinyoung sighed for the last time and then also got out, almost immediately catching Yugyeom’s hand, his presence really wasn’t making Jinyoung nervous, it was the opposite—it helped him calm down. He knew it’s ridiculous, he was just coming back home and he should be happy, not stressed, but he couldn’t really help it. Half of his family never even acknowledged his sexuality, they sure as hell wouldn’t understand Yugyeom’s, he also had no idea how his parents will feel towards the boy and this whole ordeal could turn out to be a complete disaster. And to make things worse, they had to spend a whole week here.

Jinyoung was going to die.

They barely made it to the top of the stairs before the doors suddenly opened and Jinyoung had about two seconds to catch something in his arms. Yugyeom, on the other hand, had about two seconds to catch Jinyoung from behind to prevent him from falling all the way down.

“Lee-yan, what did I tell you about jumping on every tall person in your line of sight?!” the feminine voice sounded from inside and Jinyoung recognized it as his aunt’s. When he looked down, he saw a laughing face of his little niece, Lee-yan.

“Uncle Jinnie is back!” she yelled enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around his neck and squeezing him with all her strength which, admittedly, wasn’t that much. Yugyeom chuckled beside Jinyoung and helped him regain his balance by pushing him up to the step.

“Uncle Ji—” Yugyeom started mockingly.

“ _Not_ a single word,” Jinyoung warned, shooting the younger boy a nasty glare which only made him laugh louder. Jinyoung sighed and ruffled Lee-yan’s hair, fixing his grip on her so she wouldn’t fall down.

Jinyoung’s aunt, Eunie, opened the doors wider and smiled at Jinyoung. “Come inside, everyone’s waiting ever since you parked your car. It took you some time to come out but _now_ I get it,” she said, looking over Jinyoung’s arm at Yugyeom who was standing behind him. Her smile turned into a smirk and Jinyoung’s jaw almost fell to the pavement.

“Auntie!”

“Oh, come on. I wouldn’t let him out of the car either, don’t look so scandalized,” Eunie waved her hand, leaning against the doorframe.

“Eunie, are you going to let them in or not?!” Jinyoung’s mom, Somi, rushed outside and her face broke in a big smile when she saw Jinyoung. “Oh my god, you get taller every time I see you!” she said, moving over to kiss his cheek and then her eyes settled on Yugyeom. “Yugyeom, is that really you? Last time I saw you, you were barely reaching my shoulders and look at you now!” the woman gushed. Now she was the one who barely reached Yugyeom’s shoulders and she had to crane her neck to look into his eyes.

Jinyoung turned around to look at Yugyeom. The boy was smiling and didn’t seem nervous at all, Jinyoung really envied him right now.

“You look as beautiful as you did back then,” Yugyeom said, bowing his head and making Jinyoung roll his eyes.

“And he’s got manners, too!” Eunie clapped her hands, taking her daughter from Jinyoung’s arms so he could pick up his baggage. “Where the hell did you find him and are there more where he’s coming from?” she asked him, punching his arm. Jinyoung wanted the earth to open up and swallow him right now.

“I’m sure your husband will be delighted to hear that,” Somi deadpanned, turning towards her sister. “You’re going to scare the poor kid.”

“Oh, not at all. I’m flattered,” Yugyeom assured with a nice smile, pointedly ignoring Jinyoung’s stare. “My name is Yugyeom, it’s very nice to meet you,” he added, extending his hand towards Eunie.

The woman smiled with pleasure, shaking his hand. “My name is Eunie but you can call me anytime.”

“Alright!” Jinyoung yelled a little too loud, catching Yugyeom’s hand to drag him towards the entrance. “Can you please wait with trying to steal my boyfriend until we both eat and get some rest? It’s been a very long ride and you try to survive with him in one car, right now I know every single Day6 song by heart,” Jinyoung ranted, not looking at anyone in particular. He didn’t even notice he called Yugyeom his boyfriend until he was done, it just slipped so easily that he didn’t pay much attention to it. Yugyeom, on the other hand, seemed a little surprised. “What?” Jinyoung scoffed, letting go of Yugyeom’s hand.

Yugyeom considered him for a moment. “You didn’t tell me it’s going to be fun,” he said, laughing when Jinyoung punched his shoulder. Yugyeom leaned in and kissed the top of Jinyoung’s head, ruffling his hair right after.

“Oh, don’t mind us at all,” Eunie said mockingly, walking around them as Jinyoung’s mom closed the doors behind them.

“Leave them be,” Jinyoung’s mom said with a soft smile, looking at the both of them. Jinyoung suddenly felt embarrassed. “You can go and get some rest, you must be very tired. I will tell your siblings to not interrupt you, we’ll talk later. I’ve prepared two rooms for you because I didn’t want to assume—” she started uncertainly.

Eunie burst into laughter, undoubtedly because of Jinyoung and Yugyeom’s expressions. “Second floor, the room at the end is yours. But my kids are in the room next to yours and the walls are thin so please, restrain yourself. Or at least move the bed a little from the wall.”

Jinyoung groaned and hid his face by pressing it into Yugyeom’s arm. “This is the worst day of my life.”

Yugyeom raised an eyebrow. “What about—”

“We’re not doing this,” Jinyoung interrupted quickly, tugging at Yugyeom’s sleeve. “We’ll get a few hours of sleep and we’ll come down later,” he informed his mother.

She smiled at him and nodded. “It’s good to have you here, baby.”

Jinyoung’s whole posture softened at that. “It’s good to be back.”

Jinyoung closed the doors to their room and leaned against it, closing his eyes and dropping the baggage to the floor. Yugyeom sat on the edge of the bed and yawned, stretching his arms above his head. When Jinyoung looked at him, the boy had a lopsided smile on his face.

“What?” Jinyoung asked suspiciously.

Yugyeom shrugged slightly. “You’re a mama’s boy,” he stated simply but something in his expression told Jinyoung that it was a small revelation for him. “I’ve always thought you’re your dad’s golden son or some shit.”

“I am,” Jinyoung sighed, moving to fall down on the bed next to Yugyeom. “My mom treats all of us equally, she’s that affectionate towards her every kid mostly because my dad can’t do that. He’s really hard on the younger ones, it was the same when I was a kid,” he admitted, turning to his back and putting hands under his head. Yugyeom turned slightly to be able to look at him. “I guess I get a special treatment because I’m the oldest son and he wants me to inherit the company. He’s all about that shit, a little old-fashioned style, you know?”

Yugyeom hummed and climbed higher to lay on his side with head propped on his elbow, face turned to Jinyoung. “You don’t seem thrilled about the fact that you’ll be a big CEO soon,” he noticed.

And that was the thing. Jinyoung wanted it, or at least he thought he did, his father’s company was the safest option that would assure his future. But Jinyoung was aware of the fact that he’s losing his older sister because of this, he was aware that being a CEO and working from nine to five in an office wasn’t the peak of his dreams, even in a company as cool as Video Park INC. On the other hand, though, Jinyoung wasn’t really sure what was that he would want to do in the future.

Jinyoung sighed and shook his head, focusing his gaze back on Yugyeom’s face that was a few inches away. Yugyeom looked tired and it helped Jinyoung get out of his thoughts.

“We should get some sleep, it’s been a long ride and you need to rest as much as you can. Doctor’s orders,” Jinyoung reminded the younger boy when Yugyeom grimaced, ready to argue. Jinyoung promised Mark that he won’t let Yugyeom ignore his health and that he’ll get him back to the dorms if he’ll notice even slight signs of exertion. More than that; he promised so to himself. He’s been ignoring things like that for too long because of petty reasons, he wouldn’t let Yugyeom suffer like that again even for the sake of his family.

Yugyeom rolled his eyes but when his head actually touched the pillow, it were mere seconds before his breath evened out and he was fast asleep. It took Jinyoung a little longer but only because he couldn’t stop staring at his boyfriend.

 _Fake_. Fake boyfriend. 

**− iv –**

“Jinyoung! I think we’ve all waited long enough, stop hiding him in there! Aunt Eunie said he’s worth the wait, but we all want to see Yugyeom-ah now! Give him back!”

Jinyoung blinked heavily, trying to regain his consciousness. The room was already dark so it must’ve been pretty late. Jinyoung looked around and then his gaze fell on the boy that was next to him. Yugyeom was sleeping on his side with face turned to Jinyoung, his left hand was clutching Jinyoung’s right one really tight, but he didn’t look like he was having a nightmare. He didn’t look like he was going to wake up anytime soon, too. Jinyoung wiped his face with a free hand and glanced towards the door when someone banged on it again. Yugyeom flinched and pushed his face more into the pillow.

Jinyoung cursed and slowly released his hand from Yugyeom’s grip to exit the room. He immediately closed the doors behind himself, even though his two sisters were trying to peak over his shoulder.

“Will you calm down?” Jinyoung hissed, blocking the doorway. It would be fine if it was only Min-jung and Jinsook, but the twins were there, too, smiling at Jinyoung as if they knew what he had been doing in that room but their imagination probably worked a little too well. “He’s asleep, for god’s sake.”

“It’s been four hours,” Jinsook whined. “Weren’t you supposed to take a nap? That is a coma.”

Young-kuk giggled. “Nah, I’ve seen them when they arrived. Yugyeom-hyung looked very tired. Maybe we should leave them till tomorrow,” he suggested. Jinyoung perfectly knew why he does have a favorite sibling after all.

“Is he still sick?” Min-jung asked concerned.

Jinyoung sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s so good to see you, too. Nice to know you missed me and didn’t want me to come only to meet my boyfriend. I feel the love,” he mocked, leaning against the door.

That immediately changed his siblings’ behavior as they started to tell him just how much they missed him. It was all very nice until Jinyoung noticed that Jinsook tried to open the door to the bedroom while hugging him. But when it suddenly opened, it was from the inside, making Jinyoung stumble back. He quickly looked up to see Yugyeom’s tired face, hair sticking in every direction and a fist rubbing his eyes. For some reason Jinsook, Min-jung, Young-kuk and Young-ran quieted down, and it seemed like they’re not even breathing.

“Why did you get up?” Jinyoung asked, still leaned against Yugyeom’s chest. The boy didn’t seem bothered by that.

“Because you weren’t in bed with me,” he answered in a hoarse voice. Jinyoung was glad that Yugyeom was right behind him because his legs felt kind of weak right now. “Oh, hello,” the boy said, waving his hand at Jinyoung’s siblings.

“Oh my god, he’s even better in real life,” Young-ran blabbered out after a bit of silence. Young-kuk slapped a hand over his sister’s mouth, looking at Yugyeom with wide eyes.

“Nice bed hair,” Young-kuk added and this time Young-ran slapped her hand over his mouth.

“Mama, I want to have a boyfriend, too!” Min-jung yelled with eyes stuck to Yugyeom.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, taking a step back and pushing Yugyeom along. “Alright, that was very nice. If you’ll excuse us, we’re going back into our coma. Everything is better than… this,” he said, waving a hand in general direction of the younger ones. Then he pushed the doors closed.

Yugyeom giggled behind him. “They’re nice.”

“Sure they are. To you,” Jinyoung snorted, turning around to look at the boy. “You look like death, go back to sleep.”

“Are you coming with me?” Yugyeom asked tiredly, stretching his arms over his head. Jinyoung didn’t understand why it’s so easy for Yugyeom to say shit like that without even knowing what it does to Jinyoung. It was unfair.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay,” he muttered, tugging slightly at the bottom of Yugyeom’s shirt.

Yugyeom smiled and then leaned forward, pressing his lips against Jinyoung’s. Jinyoung’s eyelashes fluttered as his eyes closed and he curled his fingers in the material of Yugyeom’s shirt, tugging him closer. But then he frowned and moved his leg back to kick against the doors.

“Ouch!” Young-ran yelped at the other side, in sync with Jinsook’s quiet curse.

Yugyeom laughed, shaking his head and then he caught Jinyoung’s hand, dragging him towards the bed.

It took them a while to fall asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're so soft and so So oblivious, ahh


	9. "dirty laundry" (ft. Jinyoung's 300 relatives)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i'm really really sorry that it took me so long, i know i've said i'll try to update at least once in two weeks but i couldn't force myself to write in those short amounts of time that i've had because i didn't want to publish a bad chapter just so it would be out there. i'm still not happy with how this chapter turned out but it's the best version out of all i've written, so i hope someone will like it. i'll try to post another one quicker. thank you for all the kudos and kind comments, i really appreciate all of it!! 
> 
> (tw: biphobia, mentions of a past accident)

**n i n e**

**"dirty laundry"**  
**(ft. Jinyoung's 300 relatives)**

**− i −**

You know the anxious feeling nagging at the back of your mind when everything seems to be too easy when it shouldn't be?

That's exactly how Jinyoung felt the next day after waking up. Everyone was just... too nice. Of course, his younger siblings were the definition of "hyperactive" but then again if there was anyone who could keep up with all of them, it was Kim Yugyeom. Their reaction was to be expected though, but what put Jinyoung on edge was how the older part of the family was acting. It's been over three hours and his uncle hasn't made even one homophobic comment (probably because aunt Eunie looked like she would actually murder him on spot if he even tried anything, but still), his other aunt (the one that still desperately hoped he'll bring a girl home) just decided to ignore Yugyeom's existence instead of insulting him from the start. Jinyoung probably should've been grateful but instead he was just very, very stressed. On the other hand, Yugyeom was yet to meet Jinyoung's father, his older sister and, of course, Jinyoung's grandmother. Jinyoung's dad and Ji-eun drove out early in the morning to get Jinyoung's grandmother from the medical center she's been staying at for the past few days and they were supposed to be back before dinner.

Everything started to go sideways during the first family dinner since Jinyoung was back and if Jinyoung thought he's ready for it, he had another thing coming. It began innocently enough; Jinyoung showed Yugyeom the dining room with a table big enough to fit a small army. Surprise flickered over Yugyeom's face and Jinyoung realized that even though they've known each other almost their whole lives, Yugyeom has never been inside this house so of course he was baffled by the size of it - people usually were.

When Jinyoung's dad and Ji-eun finally came back, Jinyoung started to panic a little as he searched the house for his boyfriend that was supposed to sit his ass down and wait in the living room. But when has Yugyeom ever done anything he was asked to do? Jinyoung found him in the garden at the back, sitting on the grass with little Lee-yan and listening to her blabbering about something that had happened in the kindergarten last week. Yugyeom looked like he was actually invested in the story, he kept nodding his head and throwing in small comments at appropriate moments, all while letting Lee-yan play with his fingers. There was nothing patronizing about the way Yugyeom talked to the five-year old girl, he was just treating her as an equal and there was something very endearing about this scene. Jinyoung felt how the corners of his mouth involuntarily move up as some of the previous tension left his body.

"I've been trying to call him for at least five minutes now," Min-jung's voice startled Jinyoung as he hasn't noticed his sister before. She sighed exasperatedly, resting hands on her hips. "He's not listening!" 

Jinyoung chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah, that's Yugyeom for you," he shrugged, moving his gaze towards Yugyeom. He didn't really want to interrupt the conversation, but his grandmother was excited to meet Yugyeom so they will have to deal with that. "Hey, asshole."

Yugyeom's head almost immediately snapped up before he caught himself and shot Jinyoung a nasty glare that only made the older boy laugh. "Don't swear around kids, you hoodlum," Yugyeom snorted, getting up and helping Lee-yan that instantly clutched his hand back. "What's up?"

"I told you to stay in the living room," Jinyoung pointed out just because he was petty. 

Yugyeom shrugged. "I got bored."

"Of course you did. My grandmother is back," he explained. Jinyoung didn't miss the slightly panicked look that was on Yugyeom's face for a split second and it made him uneasy, too, because up until now Yugyeom didn't really mind meeting Jinyoung's relatives. If he was getting nervous, then Jinyoung sure as hell would die because of stress. "Min-jung, can you take Lee-yan inside for a moment?" Jinyoung asked, looking down at his younger sister. The girl immediately nodded and called Lee-yan, but she didn't want to let Yugyeom go.

Yugyeom laughed quietly and crouched in front of Lee-yan. "Listen, sunshine, I need to talk to uncle Jinnie, alright? If you're a good girl, I will come to your tea party tomorrow, how about that?" he offered seriously, looking at her with a soft expression. Jinyoung had no idea that Yugyeom was so good with kids because usually a reaction to Yugyeom was screaming. Well, okay, _Jinyoung's_ reaction but the point still stands.  

"Pinky promise?" Lee-yan's face lit up as she extended her small hand towards Yugyeom. 

"Oh, of course. How else could you make sure I'll keep my word?" Yugyeom laughed, intertwining his finger with hers. Only then Lee-yan happily ran towards Min-jung and let her lead the girl inside. 

Jinyoung waited for Min-jung to close the balcony door and then he slowly walked closer to Yugyeom. "First of all, call me Jinnie one more time and I will murder you in your sleep. Second of all, are you okay?" he asked, raising an eyebrow when the younger boy started to fidget lightly. Now _that_ was interesting; Yugyeom was so cool about meeting Jinyoung's mom but now when he has to meet the grandmother, suddenly he's nervous?

"Yeah, of course. How do I look?" Yugyeom asked and it was so ridiculous that Jinyoung barely held in a laugh.

"With your eyes, Yugyeom-ah."

Yugyeom sighed impatiently. "This is not the time for your bullshit, Jinyoung." 

"Oh, come on. You're not seriously stressed _now_ , are you?" Jinyoung asked, kicking at the tip of Yugyeom's shoe with his own one. 

"It's just... Your grandmother is the reason you brought me here. What if she doesn't like me? The whole point of this is to show your family that you can be happy with a boy, but if they won't _like_ me, it's not going to work," Yugyeom explained quickly. Jinyoung blinked up at him, currently stuck at the fact that Yugyeom actually listened when Jinyoung was telling him why he needs the help; up until now he wasn't really sure if Yugyeom even knows why Jinyoung brought him here besides for his grandmother, he didn't know if Yugyeom cares, but apparently he did. At least enough to be well-oriented. 

Jinyoung frowned, instinctively catching Yugyeom's hand when the boy started to crack his knuckles. "Hey now, so far everyone likes you. Well, everyone that matters," he quickly corrected himself, thinking about his poor bitter aunt that refused to look at Yugyeom. "You're good with people, Yugyeom, and there's really no reason for them to not like you."

"Really? You were somehow able to find plenty of reasons for years," Yugyeom snorted mockingly, intertwining their fingers together. 

"Yeah, because you're a pain in the ass but only when you're with me. But really, they don't even have to like you. I only want them to see that I'm happy to be with you, that this relationship makes me happy. Them liking you would just be a bonus," he shrugged. He thought they're both doing a pretty good job at showing others just how happy they are together. Maybe a little too good of a job. But the more believable they are, the better. After this wedding Jinyoung would finally be free from his family's attempts to find him the love of his life. "So don't stress yourself out. Especially since we can actually die during tonight's dinner."

"Well, that was comforting," Yugyeom laughed, shaking his head. 

"Oh, shut up," Jinyoung muttered, rolling his eyes.

Yugyeom's smile turned into a smirk just then. "Make me."

Jinyoung really shouldn't be so happy to oblige. He put his hand on the back of Yugyeom's neck to drag the boy closer and make their lips meet in the middle, he could still feel Yugyeom's smile for the first few seconds before the boy opened his mouth to let Jinyoung's tongue in. Yugyeom wrapped his arms around Jinyoung's middle to bring their bodies together and Jinyoung hummed in approval, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Jinyoung's heart picked up its pace again and if kissing Yugyeom wasn't so overwhelming, Jinyoung would probably start to wonder why was he reacting so strongly. It was just a kiss, after all. 

Jinyoung wouldn't have noticed anything if it wasn't for his sister yelling from somewhere inside the house that the ship is sinking. It was something they came up with when they were really little and they wanted to warn each other when their parents were coming; Jinsook still remembered about that and thank god for that because otherwise the situation would turn into a very embarrassing one. Jinyoung immediately let go of Yugyeom and turned around just in time to notice his grandmother sliding open the balcony door to step into the garden.

"Oh my god, she's so small," Yugyeom whispered and Jinyoung reflexively elbowed him in the stomach without even looking at him

"And she's still got good hearing, kiddo," the woman replied, making Yugyeom choke on his own spit. Jinyoung would undoubtedly find it funny if he wasn't so damn stressed over basically nothing. His grandmother knew he's gay, this wasn't his big coming out so, really, he had no explanation for the anxiety. 

"Hello, halmeoni*. This is my boyfriend, Yugyeom. You remember him, right?" Jinyoung asked softly, moving a little to the side to be next to Yugyeom. 

Jinyoung's grandmother looked at the taller boy and her face broke in a gentle smile as she reached out to hold both Yugyeom's hands. "Ah, of course I remember you. You look just like your mother when she was young," she said and there was something in her voice that made Jinyoung think she knows something he doesn't. 

A few weeks ago Jinyoung probably wouldn't have recognized the emotions that flashed across Yugyeom's face but he was much better at reading the boy now; first he saw surprise, then something close to pain before Yugyeom carefully schooled his expression into a softer one and he smiled.

"It's very nice to see you again, halmeoni. Jinyoung-hyung couldn't stop talking about you for the whole ride yesterday," Yugyeom answered. Jinyoung straight up choked on air, looking at Yugyeom with wide eyes. He must have misheard it, there was literally no way that Yugyeom used a honorific just now. He never did so before and Jinyoung never expected to hear it from him; it was actually kind of scary. Yugyeom discreetly kicked Jinyoung's ankle while still looking at the short woman in front of him. "I hope I'm not intruding, but I really wanted to meet the rest of your family since your grandson always tells me only good things about you."

"You have no idea how long I've waited to meet you, dear. I've never seen my Jinyoungie with anyone and I was so scared that there will be no one to take care of him. You know, it doesn't matter to me who he chooses to love; a boy, a girl, or someone else, so long as he loves them. I want you to know that if my Jinyoung trusts you and if he loves you, then I don't have anything against it," she said sincerely. Jinyoung smiled, she was always like that; she never judged anyone, she always tried to understand. She grew up in tough times and never had it easy with her husband, so she would never judge someone's love. 

Yugyeom looked like he didn't know what to say and Jinyoung could feel how nervous he was, how scared to say the wrong thing. Jinyoung thought that Yugyeom was doing a pretty good job so far, he was polite and his grandmother clearly had a good impression; that made Jinyoung a little calmer. He put a comforting hand on Yugyeom's shoulder and smiled down at his grandmother. 

"I think dinner is ready. I'm sure you're hungry after the long car ride. Maybe we'll eat first and then you can talk some more, hm?" he suggested, turning his grandmother's attention towards himself so Yugyeom could breathe properly again. 

Halmeoni solemnly nodded her head, patting Yugyeom's hand. "Of course, food is important. Especially for growing boys like you. Yugyeom, dear, can you tell me if my Jinyoung eats well on the university? He's not living off of those awful take-outs, is he?" the woman asked with furrowed eyebrows, once they started to walk back into the house.

Yugyeom chuckled at that, finding Jinyoung's hand and intertwining their fingers. "He's actually very good at cooking, halmeoni. _I_ was living off of take-outs before we started dating, but now Jin-hyung cooks for me a lot," he admitted with a small smile. It wasn't technically a lie... Jinyoung did cook for Yugyeom once he saw that the boy actually enjoys the food; it was nice to be appreciated for once since Mark and BamBam usually inhaled everything in one go without actually tasting it. 

Jinyoung's grandmother looked delighted at that. "Oh, that's wonderful! You know, during the summer before his first year he asked me to teach him how to cook but I didn't think he will be actually doing it. I'm glad he's also taking care of you."

"Mom, please sit down," Somi said once she saw her mother and the boys entering the dining room. "You've been in a car for over four hours, I'm sure you're tired. I'm going to serve the dinner now- Jinyoung, get your ass to the kitchen and help your sisters, you're not a guest here even though god knows you could be with how little you visit us..."

"Mama, please don't start again," Jinyoung whined, trailing behind his mother.

Things were going really well for a while; Jinyoung's dad seemed to slowly warm up to Yugyeom once he saw that both his wife and mother liked the boy. All Jinyoung's siblings were literally in love with Yugyeom and they couldn't stop asking him questions. Well, alright, maybe not all. Jinyoung's older sister, Ji-eun, kept looking at Yugyeom as if every bad thing in the world had happened because of him and when she finally opened her mouth, Jinyoung knew it's going to end badly. He just didn't expect how right he was.

"So, Yugyeom-ah. How's your sister?" Ji-eun asked louder to silence the rambling kids around the table. 

Yugyeom froze with the fork halfway up to his mouth when suddenly the attention was on him. Jinyoung was sitting next to him and now he slowly put a hand on Yugyeom's thigh to squeeze it reassuringly. That seemed to wake Yugyeom up as he swallowed and put the fork down.

"She's good," the boy said carefully. "She came to visit me some time ago and I didn't have a chance to see her yet since I'm back, but she's been doing good."

Ji-eun nodded, smiling sweetly. "Does your family know about Jinyoung? Do they know you're gay?" she asked bluntly, making Jinyoung's mom gasp.

"Ji-eun," she said and her voice held a quiet warning. Jinyoung would love nothing more than tell his sister to shut up but he didn't want to make a scene. He knew what she was doing and it was unfair, it wasn't Yugyeom's fault that dad didn't want to give her the company, she shouldn't be taking it out on him. 

Yugyeom cleared his throat, avoiding looking at anyone other than Ji-eun. "My sister knows, yes. And I'm not gay, actually, I'm bisexual," he said, voice wavering a little. He put his hands under the table and one of them found Jinyoung's. Jinyoung flinched a little at how cold Yugyeom's skin was. 

"Bisexual?" Jinyoung's aunt asked with a scrunched up nose. "Jinyoung, sweetheart, did you know about that? I've read that seventy percent of bisexual people tends to cheat on their partners."

"You should stop reading those shitty gossip magazines," Euni snorted, leaning back on her chair. Jinyoung's eyes were moving from one person to another as he tried to come up with anything to say; his throat seemed too tight to be able to produce any words but he couldn't just let them all walk over Yugyeom like that. The boy did say he's dealing with it every single day but it didn't mean he had to endure it here, too. 

Somi massaged her temple and sighed. "Please, don't start. This was supposed to be a nice dinner-"

"Well," Ji-eun continued unaffected. "I guess it fits then. Considering the... hm, profession Yugyeom chose for himself."

"Pro... profession?" Jinyoung asked uncertainly, chancing a glance at Yugyeom. The younger boy's face was completely void of color now and his hand squeezed tighter on Jinyoung's, making his fingers hurt. 

"Ji-eun." This time it was Jinyoung's dad, his voice was stern and clearly was meant to finish this discourse, but Ji-eun seemed oblivious to everything else. Her smile turned vicious as her eyes bore into Yugyeom. 

"What? Don't you think Jinyoung should know who is he dating? Who he brought home?"

Somi tried again. "Ji-eun..."

"A slut," Ji-eun spit out. "Jinyoung brought home a slut and he doesn't even know about that because-"

"That's quite enough, dear." Jinyoung's grandmother spoke up very quietly but it was enough to finally silence Ji-eun. Jinyoung wasn't even breathing at this point. "I don't know why you're being like this, this certainly isn't how your parents raised you, Ji-eun. How can you bring this up in front of everyone? In front of our family when Yugyeom is here alone? And more importantly, who are you to judge someone else based on what they did or didn't do? You have no right to do that and I expect you to apologize to both Yugyeom and Jinyoung," she said firmly, shocking Ji-eun into silence. 

Jinyoung didn't give a damn about Ji-eun's apology, though. All he cared about was how pale Yugyeom looked and how he seemed to tremble on his seat. "Yugyeom..."

" _Please_ ," Yugyeom interrupted quickly, eyes cast downwards. "Excuse me. I need to go to the bathroom," he muttered, already moving his chair back. Before Jinyoung could react, the boy was skipping two steps on the stairs to get to the second floor. 

Everything was quiet for a while and then Jinsook threw her utensils on the plate, creating a loud clashing noise. "You're such a bitch!" she said frustrated, looking at her older sister. "Yugyeom didn't do shit to you, it's not his fault you're not getting the damn company. It's no one's fault but yours. If you weren't so terrible maybe dad would consider giving it to you, but you're so conceited! You don't deserve anything good. You don't deserve this wedding," she added, getting up from her chair. 

"Jinsook..." Jinyoung's mom started, desperately wanting to somehow control the damage before it got worse.

"She's right, mom," Young-kuk said, shaking his head. "Don't try to defend Ji-eun. What she did... what she said to Yugyeom... This is why none of us ever want to tell you anything," he mumbled. Jinyoung suddenly felt really shitty because if Ji-eun reacted like that to Yugyeom's sexuality, what would she do if she knew that Young-kuk was pansexual? 

But Jinyoung couldn't solve all problems at once, he needed to sort everything out. "I'm going to look for Yugyeom. I knew that coming here was a bad idea," he added quieter, trying to ignore the hurt look on his mother's face. It wasn't her fault, but it also wasn't Yugyeom's that Ji-eun was a terrible person. 

Jinyoung shouldn't have come back.

**− ii −**

Yugyeom panicked.

Jinyoung had warned him before coming here what might happen and, honestly, Yugyeom knew what to expect. This was a small town, it was obvious that Jinyoung's family would have known about Yugyeom's past, so this wasn't surprising. It's just that Yugyeom had no idea that Jinyoung's sister will be so... blunt about all of it. She seemed to hate him even though they've seen each other maybe three times in their lives; it didn't make sense. 

Yugyeom locked himself in the bathroom on the second floor and sank down to the floor between the shower stall and the drawer under the sink, he already dialed a number on his way here and now was waiting for a voice on the other end.

"Yugyeom? Are you alright?" Seokjin sounded worried. Yugyeom had never called him before so it was understandable, but right now Yugyeom had no idea who else would be able to help him and he didn't want to worry Youngjae or his older sister. He didn't like to be a bother but it was kind of Seokjin's job to listen to Yugyeom being a mess.

"I-I'm not sure? I mean, I think I panicked and I've found myself a safe space in Jinyoung's house," Yugyeom said quietly, clutching the phone tightly in his shaking hand. 

"Get out of there," Seokjin said immediately. "You can't stay in this place, Yugyeom, we've talked about this. It's alright to have your safe space but creating them everywhere you go is not healthy. Please, try to move somewhere else," the man's voice was gentle even though Yugyeom could hear some commotion on the other end of the line. He probably interrupted something important, it made him feel like an asshole.

He forced himself to crawl out of the small space to the middle of the bathroom floor, and then he took a deep breath trying to calm down his rapid heartbeat. "Okay, I moved."

"That's great, you're doing great. And now tell me what happened," Seokjin asked, hushing down someone who was with him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called. I know you're busy-" 

"No, no!" the therapist interrupted immediately. "It's just my fiance, he can't sit still. Please, talk to me."

Yugyeom smiled slightly. "Namjoon-hyung?"

"Yeah, a pain in the ass. You were supposed to help Jinyoung, right? So what went wrong?" Jin steered the topic back on track, prodding Yugyeom to talk. 

Yugyeom took a deep breath. "So many things... You know everything about me, you know what I was doing after the accident. But I didn't tell Jinyoung about any of it, I just couldn't. But his family knows, his sister brought it up during dinner and I just... I knew Jinyoung had to finally find out but I still didn't want him to know. His grandmother mentioned my mom earlier and it's just... it was a little too much, I freaked out," he explained, pinching the bridge of his nose. He could hear some noises from downstairs and then steps getting closer.

"Oh, Yugyeom. You do know you don't have to go through this, right? I keep telling you that your mental health is the most important in all of this, it's more important than helping a friend. You can't put yourself in a situation where so many things are triggering for you just because someone asked for a favor. You're still healing, Yugyeom. You need time for that and people that will support you, not someone who will throw everything you've done in your face like it's a bad thing. You haven't done anything wrong," Seokjin said firmly and Yugyeom almost believed him. But before he could answer, there was a light knock on the door.

"Yugyeom? Can you come out?" Jinyoung's voice was soft and it made Yugyeom's heart squeeze in his chest. He shouldn't have come here, he knew it's a terrible idea. And if his motives were purely connected with money maybe he wouldn't feel so shitty, but he didn't come because of what Jinyoung was paying him, but because of _Jinyoung_. Yugyeom was sure that in a bit he'll start to hate himself for that.

"Just a moment," Yugyeom answered louder, making sure that his voice didn't waver. The last thing he'll do is showing Jinyoung that Ji-eun's words affected him. 

"Is that Jinyoung?" Seokjin asked. "It's alright, you can just call me when you're alone again. But please, remember what I told you. You can get out of there at any moment and if someone gets offended, it's their problem. I'm going to hang up now. Take care of yourself, Yugyeom." With that the conversation ended and Yugyeom could hide his phone in back pocket of his jeans. 

Jinyoung knocked again. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, just-you can go back downstairs," Yugyeom sighed, slightly annoyed. He got up from the floor and looked at his reflection; his face was sickly pale but fortunately the bruises were still invisible under all the make-up, this was something he was good at—hiding bruises. He smiled bitterly and shook his head.

"I'm not going back there. Please, just come out and let's talk, alright?" Jinyoung didn't sound mad that Yugyeom didn't tell him anything before the dinner, but Yugyeom still was wary. He realized he probably should have warned Jinyoung that something like that might happen, maybe Jinyoung would decide that he doesn't want to bring home someone like that and Yugyeom wasn't fair. 

The least he could do was tell Jinyoung everything now and if the boy wanted Yugyeom to leave, he would just do so.

**− iii −**

Jinyoung took Yugyeom to the roof. There was a part of it right above Jinyoung's old room where it wasn't as steep and it was relatively safe to sit there; Jinyoung often did so when he was still a teenager and lived in the house. It was already dark outside, the small lights on the fence around the house blinked prettily and Jinyoung looked from one to another, waiting for Yugyeom to calm down enough to speak. He wanted to apologize for everyone but he knew it wouldn't mean anything for Yugyeom, after all it wasn't Jinyoung who offended him.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you anything before we came here," Yugyeom started finally after some time, looking down at his hands. Jinyoung could see how much they were shaking but he was scared to touch Yugyeom now, not sure how the boy would react. They were alone but it was still strange, Ji-eun's words echoed in Jinyoung's brain and he was sure that Yugyeom thinks about it, too. 

"You don't have to apologize for anything. You also don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, but... What was my sister talking about? Maybe if I'd know, it would be easier for me to defend you," Jinyoung suggested with a light shrug. He was curious, of course he was. And this situation reminded him of this one time in _Cherry Bomb_ when Yugyeom looked as if he wanted to tell Jinyoung something; maybe he wanted to talk about that? 

Yugyeom sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair. "There's nothing to defend because your sister was right. I mean, obviously slut-shaming is a shitty thing to do but it's what people usually call the things I used to do," he rushed out, seeming as if he just wanted to get rid of those words as fast as he could. Jinyoung raised his eyebrows but kept quiet, not wanting to interrupt the boy. "Maybe I should do that from the start, though. Have you heard about my parents?" he asked, briefly looking at Jinyoung.

"Not really," Jinyoung admitted, subconsciously moving a little closer to Yugyeom.

"Well, there was a car accident four years ago. It was... we were driving for my first showcase and it was raining. Some other car just drove into ours," Yugyeom's voice was quieter now and he was still looking at his hands. Jinyoung couldn't tear his eyes away from the younger boy and he reached out, letting Yugyeom hold his hand between his own. How could Jinyoung not know about any of this? "I was in a coma for two weeks, my leg and two ribs were broken, but other than that nothing had happened. My dad was fine, too, he just had a concussion. But my mom... The airbag didn't work, you know? It just... it didn't work," he mumbled and Jinyoung had a feeling that it was something Yugyeom has often said before. "It was my fault because if it wasn't for this stupid showcase... I didn't want to dance after that, didn't even know if I'll be able to because the doctors said that my bone was really damaged. But then I thought... My mom loves dancing so much and she wouldn't want me to stop, no matter what. So I thought that maybe when she gets better... I would be able to dance for her. I know it's dumb," he said quickly, forcing out a laugh. 

"It's not," Jinyoung answered almost immediately, shaking his head. At this moment he wished he was good at comforting people or just... talking in general, but he was honestly shit at that so he could only hope that he won't upset Yugyeom any more than his family already did. "It's not dumb, Gyeom. I'm so sorry. For everything. I really had no idea about any of it which is ridiculous and I-"

"No, please, don't do that. I don't want your pity. I liked the fact that you didn't know because you were the only person that didn't treat me differently after it happened," Yugyeom said quietly, smiling a little at Jinyoung's surprised expression. "Talking with you always made me feel like the accident just didn't happen because you were the only person that never hesitated around me, you just said whatever came to your mind and it was... it was somehow real, you know? So don't be sorry. Especially since you haven't heard the whole story yet."

And so Yugyeom told him. He told Jinyoung about how he was only fifteen and his sister twenty-one when their mother's brain got damaged. Yugyeom was only fifteen when his mother stopped recognizing him. He was only fifteen when he was forced to attend therapy sessions with his first psychiatrist. He was only sixteen when his father couldn't take it anymore and turned to alcohol because the woman he loved the most couldn't stop screaming whenever he visited her. He was only sixteen when his sister became his legal guardian. He was only sixteen when his sister dropped out of college to find a job to support them both and cover the hospital bills for their mother. He was only sixteen when he started to sell himself to help Yun-hee because no one wanted to give a job to a kid. Yugyeom told Jinyoung about nightmares, Kim Seokjin, the pills he used to take just so his hands would stop shaking for a moment. He told him _everything_ and Jinyoung couldn't believe that Yugyeom, after all of it, was still able to laugh with his friends. It was... it was unbelievable. 

"Now you know what your sister was talking about. I should've told you before we came here because I knew your family will know," Yugyeom sighed. Jinyoung again thought about their last time at the cafe together; Yugyeom did say that Jinyoung's grandmother might not like him if she's heard things about him. But it was obvious that halmeoni adored Yugyeom and she _must_ have heard all those things before Ji-eun brought them up. "I get it if you'll want me to leave-"

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow, playing with Yugyeom's fingers. "Do you want to leave?" he asked curiously. He found it quite hard to focus after everything Yugyeom just told him.

"I... I'm not really sure how to answer that."

"Well... My sister treated you like shit so it's perfectly fine if you want to stop helping me. I will still give you the money because you came here with me. But if you're asking me if I want to kick you out then no, I don't. I'd like to show my family how little I care about all of that," Jinyoung said. When Yugyeom looked at him doubtfully, Jinyoung sighed and moved a little bit closer to him on the roof, intently looking at Yugyeom's face that was still a little pale. "Don't get me wrong now, everything you went through and everything you did is terrible and I'm really sorry that it happened to you, and I'm sorry that I didn't know about it earlier. But I don't _care_ what you've done. I don't care what my sister thinks about that because everything you've done, you did it to help your sister and I know that if I were you, I would do the same. So I'm not going to judge you and I don't think less about you because of that. I know I've said some shitty things to you and I called you dozens of names, but I never really meant any of them, I want you to know that. I'm stupid and petty, and I say shit I don't mean half of the time. It doesn't justify anything and I'm not apologizing to you out of pity just because you've told me everything about your past. I'm apologizing because it's long overdue and I've wanted to do that about a week into our arrangement, I just never could find the right words. So I'm sorry, and I'm sorry about my family and everything they've said or will say in the future, but I want you to stay if you want that, too." 

Jinyoung took a deep breath and looked up at the dark sky. Talking was so exhausting, he really knew why he hates it so much. 

Yugyeom was quiet for a moment and then he chuckled. "That was the longest I've ever heard you talk. Are you alright? Take it easy, I know it hurts the first time," he mocked, lightly patting Jinyoung's shoulder. 

Jinyoung couldn't help it, he burst into laughter. "Oh, shut the hell up, I'm trying to be nice here."

"Yeah, I know," Yugyeom said quietly. He was looking at Jinyoung with such a soft expression, something pulled at Jinyoung's heart.

It would be so easy to pretend that it's real. That Yugyeom really is his boyfriend, that their intertwined fingers mean anything more, that those soft looks and smiles are special. But it was also dangerous so Jinyoung quickly stopped and turned his face away. At the same time he could hear commotion behind them and when he looked back, he saw Jinsook climbing to the roof to join them.

"The shit show downstairs is finally over. Halmeoni wanted to talk to you both but mama said it's better to give you some time today," she informed them, sitting down next to Jinyoung. "Don't worry about Ji-eun, she's a bitch like that," Jinsook added towards Yugyeom, making the boy giggle.

"It's alright, I get that treatment a lot. Sorry for ruining the dinner though, I didn't want that," he admitted with a light shrug and Jinyoung suddenly had a urge to push him down from the roof.

"You didn't do anything, it wasn't your fault," he said with a frown.

Jinsook nodded. "He's right, Ji-eun was just looking for a fight. It pissed her off that you were so calm about all of it. Honestly, screw her. You're not leaving because of that though, are you? I mean, I know she doesn't deserve this stupid wedding but we all really want you to stay."

"If your brother still wants me here then I'm not going anywhere," Yugyeom smiled, making Jinsook squeal quietly next to Jinyoung. "Besides, I've never ruined a wedding before. Might be fun."

"Shut up!" Jinyoung swatted at Yugyeom's arm but when the boy slid down a little, Jinyoung clutched at his shirt while his heart jumped up to his throat. 

"I'm joking, I'm joking!" Yugyeom laughed, sitting back next to Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung's eyes opened wider. "Are you fucking dumb or something?! I nearly had a heart attack, you absolute idiot! Don't ever do that again!" he yelled, hitting Yugyeom with more force while one of his hands was still tightly fisted in Yugyeom's shirt, just in case.

Jinsook laughed next to her brother. "It's so adorable how much you worry about him, Jinnie. If he insults you like that, it means he cares," she informed Yugyeom, leaning over Jinyoung's arm. 

Jinyoung snorted. "Yeah, right. Just fall down from here, see if I give a damn," he muttered with annoyance. 

"Aw, don't be mad at me when I'm in love with you," Yugyeom pouted, bumping Jinyoung's shoulder. Jinyoung decided to completely ignore the way his heart twitched at the word _love_. It was ridiculous, Yugyeom was just acting in front of Jinsook. 

Jinsook smiled at them and sighed, stretching arms over her head. "It's late, I'm going to bed. Don't stay here too long, it's getting cold. Oh, and don't forget that my room is opposite to yours so I can hear everything. Please, think about that the next time you decide to spend your time on something else than sleeping," she said with a smirk, already moving to get back home. 

Jinyoung's cheeks immediately started to burn as he flipped his younger sister off. He groaned loudly when she was gone and hid his face in his hands. "I want to go back to Seoul where I don't have to care about nosy and bitchy sisters, oh my _god_."

Yugyeom laughed at that. "At least we're convincing, aren't we?" he asked carelessly, prying Jinyoung's hands away from his face so he could look at him. 

For some reason it suddenly occurred to Jinyoung that he hasn't kissed Yugyeom since that one time in the garden a few hours ago, which shouldn't really bother him as much as it did. Maybe Yugyeom thought about the same thing because a few seconds later he leaned closer, as if waiting for Jinyoung to move back. He didn't, so finally their lips met and Jinyoung's eyes closed involuntarily. Yugyeom's lips were always so soft, like feathers. Jinyoung put one hand on Yugyeom's neck to bring the boy closer, and he opened his mouth when Yugyeom licked his bottom lip. The kiss was gentle at first and Yugyeom kept his hands to himself, but it wasn't enough for Jinyoung. He pressed forward, moving his hand up into Yugyeom's hair to tug at it and make Yugyeom moan quietly. 

The younger boy cupped Jinyoung's face in his hands and tilted his head a little to deepen the kiss. Jinyoung could feel Yugyeom's quick pulse under his fingertips and it made him feel good, because he wanted to make _Yugyeom_ feel good. He wanted to forget about all bad things that happened during dinner and kissing Yugyeom might have been the best way to do so because it always left Jinyoung lightheaded. He loved feeling Yugyeom's soft skin, he loved how their lips fit together, he loved how fast his own heart was always beating around Yugyeom. He loved how Yugyeom made him feel because no other boy has ever done that before. Yugyeom made him feel important and actually needed, it was something that Jinyoung always craved but never received. 

God help him, Jinyoung couldn't love Yugyeom.

He really couldn't.

Unfortunately, he already did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *halmeoni - grandmother in korean
> 
> ahh i know this chapter is more dialogues than anything else and it's kind of short but i've wanted you all to finally know everything that happened to yugyeom. please let me know what you think!!


	10. "shut up, jinyoung" (ft. Kim Yun-hee)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im really sorry that i cant keep up with the updates more regularly and that it takes so long for me to post, but i never feel satisfied with the chapters and i keep changing them because i want this story to be actually interesting even though i still think it could be better. anyways, i hope that anyone is still reading this.  
> take it as a birthday gift for youngjae!!!
> 
> (the chapter wasnt checked for mistakes yet so sorry in advance)

**t e n**

**"shut up, jinyoung"  
(ft. Kim Yun-hee)**

**\- i -**

The realization of being in love with Yugyeom kept Jinyoung awake for the whole following night. It was hard to believe that anyone could be so oblivious, so _dense_. Jinyoung liked to think he's pretty clever but it looked as if he needed to reevaluate that statement due to his last night's discovery.

Because it's not like he fell in love with Yugyeom right when he thought about it. It was a long process and maybe Jinyoung would have forgiven himself for somehow missing it if it wasn't so damn obvious now; it made him wonder whether Yugyeom already knows and that thought made Jinyoung panic before he scolded himself—Yugyeom wouldn't be here anymore if he knew, he would never even look at Jinyoung again. But Yugyeom was very much still there, sleeping calmly next to Jinyoung and occasionally mumbling something incoherent into his pillow (Yugyeom talked in his sleep, _a lot_ ). 

Jinyoung thought about all those times he looked for Yugyeom in the crowd of other students without even realizing he's looking for someone until he saw the younger boy waving back at him. He thought about all those times Yugyeom sat on Jinyoung's bed with books scattered around him and studied without even acknowledging Jinyoung, as if just being in the same room was enough, and how Jinyoung didn't have anything against it—he even enjoyed it. He thought about Yugyeom sneaking into his bed every night because he said that Jinyoung's bed was more comfortable than his own (bullshit, all beds in the dorms were equally terrible). He thought about always reaching for Yugyeom just to make sure he's still there. He thought about kissing in the dance studio or in the café after closing. Because those were the things that weren't a part of Jinyoung's deal; and while now he had an explanation as to why _he_ enjoyed it so much, he had no idea why _Yugyeom_ was agreeing to all of it and that was stressing Jinyoung out. Did Yugyeom think that Jinyoung won't pay him if Yugyeom won't do it? Was Jinyoung just using the younger boy this whole time? Knowing what he knew now about Yugyeom's past made Jinyoung feel as if he was drowning. He didn't want to be that person, he swore to himself that he wouldn't be someone like that because he had spent way too many years watching how his sister let older boys mistreat her. Jinyoung never wanted to do that and his biggest fear was being unintentionally manipulative.

He knew Yugyeom needed sleep and he knew that he's just overthinking everything because his new found feelings were overwhelming, but when his hands started to shake, Jinyoung broke and tried to gently wake Yugyeom up. All while ignoring the bedside clock that showed him it's almost three in the morning. 

"Yugyeom-ah, are you still sleeping?" he asked quietly, nudging the other boy.

Yugyeom woke up very suddenly, as always, and he flinched away from Jinyoung's touch, gathering his surroundings. Jinyoung simply waited until the boy made sure he's safe if that's what he needed.

"What's wrong?" Yugyeom asked worriedly, voice hoarsed. He moved to sit up and a moment later the dim light from a lamp lightened up the bedroom, making Jinyoung squint at Yugyeom. "Did something happen?"

"No, no," Jinyoung assured, suddenly feeling stupid. He _hated_ talking about his feelings. 

Yugyeom was quiet for a moment, regarding Jinyoung with his sleepy eyes, and then he punched Jinyoung in the arm, making him yelp in surprise. "Then why the hell would you wake me up, you stupid shit?"

"And what happened to _hyung_?!" Jinyoung whisper-yelled, remembering that the walls in this house really weren't that thick.

"Don't make me punch you again," Yugyeom threatened, sliding down again and dragging the covers closer to his body. "What do you want?" he asked suspiciously, but he also sounded like he would fall back asleep any minute so Jinyoung thought he doesn't have much time.

"Have I ever forced you to anything?" Jinyoung blurted out, not wanting to bail at the last second. The light from the lamp allowed Jinyoung to clearly see Yugyeom's face but the only visible thing was confusion. He was watching the younger boy because he didn't want him to lie to Jinyoung for some reason.

"I—What? What is this about?" Yugyeom asked with a frown. Wavy hair was softly falling to his forehead and Jinyoug had a hard time focusing on the topic because holy shit, he was in love with that boy. "Jinyoung? What are you talking about?"

Jinyoug shook his head, fixing the pillow behind his back. "Just—I was just wondering why would you... Did you want to do all the stuff we did or did you do it because you thought I won't pay you otherwise?" his voice got quieter with each word and he couldn't help it. He felt so small and it was something new for him. 

"Are you asking me this because of what I told you last night? Jinyoung, this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you shit." Suddenly Yugyeom sounded annoyed. He sat up again and turned a little more towards Jinyoung. "I told you I didn't want you to treat me differently, you said it doesn't matter," he added almost desperately. Jinyoung understood that, he really did because he knew what it's like to be treated like shit because of something we didn't have control over.

"Because it _doesn't_ ," Jinyoung said honestly. "Yugyeom, it really doesn't. I just want to make sure I didn't—"

"If I _didn't_ want you to kiss me, you _wouldn't_  be kissing me. Believe me, you damn asshole," Yugyeom huffed. Before Jinyoung could answer, Yugyeom laid back down and turned away from Jinyoung, covering his head with a pillow as a clear message that their talk was over. 

And maybe he was mad, but at least Jinyoung felt calmer now. Because he knew that at some level Yugyeom wanted him, too.

  **— ii —**

"Would you like to go to the amusement park today?" Yugyeom asked the next morning, looking up from his text book.

They've been studying for the last two hours and Yugyeom was clearly getting frustrated by now so Jinyoung thought a break would be a good idea. It wasn't that Yugyeom was stupid because he really wasn't, no matter what he himself thought, it was just that he could get very easily distracted by the smallest thing and then it was quite difficult for him to focus again. He told Jinyoung it's because of his sleeping pills; sometimes they made him drowsy or if he took them too late or too early, they could cause hyperactivity for a while before it wears off, but he also said he wouldn't be able to sleep for more than three hours at night without them. Jinyoung was glad that the boy was so honest about it because knowing that let him not get annoyed when he had to repeat something two times for Yugyeom to pay attention.

"Why?" Jinyoung asked suspiciously, putting his old math notes down to focus on Yugyeom. He didn't put on any make up yet since they weren't leaving Jinyoung's bedroom today, but his bruises looked a tiny bit better than two days ago so for that Jinyoung was glad. He just now noticed that Yugyeom was wearing Jinyoung's old t-shirt that was a little too big even on Yugyeom and was sliding slightly off his shoulder; the navy blue color looked very nice on the boy though. Or maybe Jinyoung was just especially gay today.

Yugyeom shrugged. "Because the weather is nice."

"And?" Jinyoung prompted, instantly seeing that it wasn't all. He was glad that Yugyeom didn't bring up their night conversation and he also didn't seem mad anymore, but that didn't mean Jinyoung will just agree to everything.

"And I don't really want to be inside this house today," Yugyeom tried again, fiddling with his pen and very obviously avoiding Jinyoung's gaze. It was kind of funny how good Yugyeom was at lying and how now he wasn't even trying.

"And?"

Yugyeom huffed with annoyance. "Okay, noona wants to hang out with us while I'm here."

"There it is," Jinyoung laughed, even though meeting Yugyeom's sister wasn't at the top of the list of things Jinyoung would enjoy. "Wouldn't it be better if you just went alone?" he suggested, remembering how the last time he was supposed to meet Yugyeom's sister ended. He would honestly prefer to avoid Kim Yun-hee for as long as he could.

"Do you seriously have something against my sister?" Yugyeom asked and he sounded almost curious. But when Jinyoung looked at him, he noticed the glint in Yugyeom's eyes that told him this asshole was barely holding back his laugh. Jinyoung absentmindedly swatted at Yugyeom and sighed when the boy caught his hand before it could even touch his head.

"I don't have anything against her, but she might have something against me," he stated. Yugyeom looked mostly confused, though, and that made Jinyoung hesitate—Yugyeom couldn't possibly be this dense, could he? "How does Yun-hee feel about me punching you in the face?" Jinyoung asked sarcastically. He briefly wondered whether his sisters would adore Yugyeom so much if they knew about the fight; probably yes. But they wouldn't hesitate from selling Jinyoung for a pack of chips, so there's that. 

"Oh, I didn't tell her about that," Yugyeom informed him. When Jinyoung's head snapped up in surprise after he realized he's just been staring at the small moles on Yugyeom's palm, the younger boy smiled and shrugged slightly. "Yeah, I figured she wouldn't understand that it wasn't your fault, even though she knows that not all of my coping methods are exactly healthy or whatever."

"Are any of them healthy, though?" Jinyoung asked with a raised eyebrow and this time he was the one to receive a slap upside the head. Jinyoung realized they've never actually talked about that; they just never came back to that night and he knew it's not because Yugyeom didn't want to talk about it, but Jinyoung still found it hard to vocalize the things he felt. One day he should probably take time to wonder why is it so hard for him; maybe it wasn't normal.

"So for now she's convinced you're the love of my life," Yugyeom said, ignoring Jinyoung. "Seriously, she takes pictures from your Instagram, puts cute stickers on them and sends them to me with stupid shit like, _who's this pretty boy? Your boyfriend!_ It's tragic." The boy took his phone from the bedside drawer to show Jinyoung he wasn't joking. Jinyoung wanted to cringe, because really—Yun-hee was ridiculous, but he found out that the only reaction to those messages was an overwhelming urge to smile. "Oh my god, you think it's cute!" Yugyeom yelled outraged, making Jinyoung look up like a deer caught in the headlights. "You're absolutely disgusting, Park Jinyoung," he announced, taking Jinyoung's face in his hands to squeeze his cheeks. 

"I didn't even do anything!" Jinyoung protested, throwing the phone back at Yugyeom. His reaction was way over the top, like Yugyeom's whole personality. 

"And that's the thing! You should have thrown the phone out of the window, you corny loving shithead—"

Jinyoung was so not in the mood for that today. He caught Yugyeom's wrists to move his hands away so he could lean forward and press his lips to Yugyeom's. The younger boy grunted, not satisfied with the fact that someone finally shut him up, but he didn't try to free his hands and he quickly went pliant under Jinyoung's touch. The kiss was slow until Yugyeom started to push forward and Jinyoung felt heat rushing to his head. Jinyoung let go of his hands to put one of his own on the back of Yugyeom's neck to pull him closer, but the boy had different plans. Yugyeom kicked his math books off the bed and moved up on the bed, Jinyoung followed him willingly just so their lips wouldn't have to disconnect. Yugyeom lied down and Jinyoung needed to rest his elbows on the both sides of his head because he didn't want to put his full weight on the younger boy since he was already straddling him with his legs. 

Yugyeom was chasing his lips each time Jinyoung moved his head up to catch a breath and it would be a lie to say that Jinyoung didn't like it; he loved the fact that Yugyeom seemed to need him as much as Jinyoung needed the boy—at least physically. Yugyeom moved his hands down Jinyoung's body, starting from his neck and moving towards the hem of Jinyoung's shirt to then sneak them under. Jinyoung gasped when cold fingers touched his hot skin and he could feel Yugyeom's smirk when he was kissing down his jawline. Yugyeom tilted his head back to give Jinyoung better access to his neck while his hands still caressed Jinyoung's skin. 

Jinyoung could see a faint love bite right above Yugyeom's collarbone, he left it there some time ago and suddenly he remembered how Yugyeom reacted, so he wanted to check something. He attached his lips to the exact same spot, sucking and soothing the skin with his tongue a few seconds later. 

"Shit," Yugyeom cursed quietly, digging his fingers into Jinyoung's hips. When the older boy looked up, he could see how Yugyeom's cheeks were tainted a pretty red color and his eyes got a little wider. 

"Found it," Jinyoung said, repeating Yugyeom's words from the exact same situation but when their roles were reserved. He smiled dumbly, proud of himself, which only made Yugyeom scowl. 

"You didn't find shit," he muttered, trying to push Jinyoung off of him. Jinyoung burst into laughter, resting his hands on Yugyeom's chest to keep his balance. 

He wanted to argue, but before he had the chance, the doors suddenly opened and made Jinyoung's head snap in that direction. It was Young-kuk, out of all people, standing there with a hand on the handle.

"I'm sorry, Jinsook made me—" the boy started but then voice got stuck in his throat. Jinyoung would probably tell his younger brother about this betrayal (he thought it's obvious they should have each other's back as the only boys in the family, so far only his sisters marched into his room without as much as a knock on the door), if it wasn't for the horrified look on Young-kuk's face. Jinyoung knew for a fact it's not because of what he and Yugyeom were doing, since they weren't really doing _anything_ right now. "What happened to you, hyung?" he asked in a high-pitched voice, looking at Yugyeom who was craning his neck to see what was behind Jinyoung. 

They both realized at the same time that Yugyeom still didn't have the make-up on but it was too late to try and cover the bruises now. 

"Homophobia happened," Yugyeom shrugged. Jinyoung punched him in the chest, thinking it's really unnecessary to scare Young-kuk even more when he was already this stressed about his sexuality; but of course Yugyeom didn't know about Young-kuk. Either way, he seemed to recoil quickly, so maybe he noticed something himself. "It's nothing serious, don't worry about it. Jinyoung had told me that you're very good at make-up. Can I ask you to help me today?"

"Are you trying to steal my brother from me?" Jinyoung asked, turning towards the boy who was still laying underneath him. 

Yugyeom snorted. "As if I needed to _try_. He already likes me more than you," Yugyeom pointed out, making Jinyoung open his mouth in shock. He took the pillow from the bed and put it on Yugyeom's face, turning towards his brother.

"Anyway. What did you need?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, pushing down when Yugyeom started to wiggle. "Oh, wait, no, this is a bad idea," he muttered, making Yugyeom stop for a moment before he started to move even more. Jinyoung would really love to avoid having a boner in front of his younger brother, thank you very much. 

"Here I thought that stupidity goes away with age," Young-kuk sighed, and Yugyeom laughed under the pillow. "Jinsook asked if you want to go to the amusement park with us today. To... you know, avoid being here with certain people," he said carefully, looking into the hall to make sure that said _certain people_ won't hear.

Jinyoung opened his mouth to answer but suddenly he was moving and the floor was getting bigger in his vision. "Oh, fuck you, Yugyeom!" 

"Park Jinyoung, we do not use this language in my house!" yelled Jinyoung's mother from downstairs, making the entire building shake with laughter of the three hundred relatives.

Jinyoung _hated_ coming home. 

**— iii —**

"Has my brother told you anything else about me?" Young-kuk asked when Yugyeom was putting a headband on to keep hair away from his face. He looked back at the younger boy; Young-kuk was playing with one of his brushes while avoiding Yugyeom's eyes. 

"No. He doesn't tell me much about himself, let alone other people," Yugyeom rolled his eyes, making Young-kuk laugh and visibly relax. "Seriously, is this a thing in your family? Just avoiding everything until it goes away?" he asked, genuinely curious. If he couldn't talk to Jinyoung about that, he chose the next best option and he could only hope that Young-kuk will be more open. The boy looked like someone who has a lot to say but maybe not always someone to talk to. 

Young-kuk shrugged, taking out the small wipes to clean Yugyeom's face before putting make-up on it. "We get it from our dad. He's not a bad person, you know?" the boy asked quickly. "He was just raised like that himself; talking isn't something he values. He always said that people who talk a lot don't really have anything smart to say. Our mom always says it's stupid, but you know... it's hard to just get rid of some habits. We never talked about important things in this house and later it's hard to talk about how you feel if you think that..."

"That another person won't think you have anything smart to say?" Yugyeom finished gently and Young-kuk's hand that was applying the foundation hesitated slightly for a moment. "Listen, I'm not going to pretend that I know what it's like because when I was a kid my parents talked with me all the time, and later I was... I was always _forced_ to talk," he started, thinking about police officers, social workers, various therapists and everyone else who wanted him to talk when all _he_ wanted was to just disappear. "But I can assure you that there's always going to be someone who will want to listen to you. You have Jinyoung, and while he himself is shit at talking, I'm sure he'd never think anything you say is stupid." 

Jinyoung maybe was an idiot sometimes, but he would never ignore his siblings because Yugyeom knew very well that he had a soft spot for them, especially Young-kuk since he was the only other boy in the family. Yugyeom remembered when he had met Young-kuk, it was when the boy stayed in Jinyoung's dorm for the weekend, and Yugyeom saw how Jinyoung treated his younger brother—it was the first time he saw Jinyoung being gentle. 

"Can I tell _you_ something?" the boy asked, gently covering the bruise under Yuygeom's eye. 

"Of course," Yugyeom agreed easily, moving willingly when Young-kuk turned his head a little more towards the light. 

Young-kuk smiled slightly, taking a deep breath. "I'm pansexual. Wow, it feels nice to say this out loud," he laughed, shaking his head. 

"It does, doesn't it?" Yugyeom smiled happily. "I'm very proud of you, by the way. It's hard to be anything other than straight, but it's equally hard to be anything other than gay within the community."

"How did you feel when you first realized you're not straight, hyung?" Young-kuk looked at him to judge his work and then he took out the highlighter from his bag. He seemed to forget that Yugyeom only asked to cover the bruises, but Yugyeom didn't stop the boy; he clearly had fun.

"Relieved," Yugyeom admitted. It was quite hard for him to think back to those times because it happened right before the accident. He remembered how he thought during his last ride with his parents that he'll come out to them after his performance. He was so happy back then. "Scared, too, of course. But mostly relieved because earlier I couldn't understand why I was so confused, you know? I liked girls, but sometimes I liked boys, too. Sometimes I liked girls _and_ boys at the same time. I didn't know much about sexualities back then, I just thought you can be either straight or gay. My parents tried to educate me, but just not in that matter. Not because they had anything against it, I guess they just didn't think much about it. So I had to learn myself. I have a friend, Youngjae, who helped me a lot back then with that. I'm curious, and you don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable, but how did you know? I mean, pansexuality isn't popular. Some people don't even know it exists."

Young-kuk blushed just then and in that moment he reminded Yugyeom of Jinyoung a lot. "I... I have a non-binary friend and... I like them. _So much_ ," he admitted quietly, moving the brush alongside Yugyeom's cheekbone. "It's not because of them, though. It just made me wonder, you know? Because I liked boys and girls before, but I knew I'm not gay and I probably would have said I'm bisexual like you, but then I've met Taeyeon and they're... They're probably the most adorable person I've ever met. And I thought that gender doesn't matter to me at all. That's when I found the term pansexual and it just clicked," he explained, putting the brush aside and taking off Yugyeom's headband to let his hair softly fall to his forehead.

"That's really sweet, Young-kuk. Have you told Taeyeon that you like them?" Yugyeom asked, genuinely curious. Young-kuk was such a kind boy, it was hard to believe that he was actually related to Jinyoung. 

"You mean people actually do that?" Young-kuk asked terrified, making Yugyeom laugh loudly. "I'm done, by the way. You're very pretty, hyung. Jinyoung thinks so, too. I've heard him say that."

"Blatant lies!" Jinyoung yelled, taking one earphone out. Yugyeom and Young-kuk looked at him at the same time; they let him stay in the room only if he'll be quietly reading his book with earphones and music playing loudly so he wouldn't eavesdrop. Obviously, he didn't follow the rules.

"You weren't supposed to listen, you piece of shit," Yugyeom snorted, throwing one of Young-kuk's brushes at Jinyoung's head. 

"I wasn't! The song was just changing right now and I happened to hear how my own blood spreads awful, terrible rumors about me, ruining my reputation," Jinyoung said dramatically, shooting Young-kuk nasty glares. And he had the audacity to say that Yuygeom is the dramatic one. 

"What reputation?" Young-kuk blinked, genuinely confused. Yugyeom burst into laughter, high-fiving the younger boy. "Anyways, he does look pretty, doesn't he?" Young-kuk asked, clearly proud of himself. Yugyeom took his phone out and changed the camera into a selca mode, looking at his face. The bruises were invisible, but Young-kuk also made his cheekbones more prominent with bronzer and highlighter, and he curled his eyelashes, making them even longer. 

"Holy shit, you're good," Yugyeom admitted, making Young-kuk blush again. 

The boy shrugged, packing his things back into a pretty blue bag. "It's rather easy with someone who looks like you, hyung. I'm still sorry about the bruises, though."

"Alright, stop flirting with my boyfriend," Jinyoung snorted, apparently completely forgetting about pretending not to listen.

Young-kuk made an offended face. "Didn't you hear me talking about my crush?" 

Jinyoung's lips formed a smirk just then and Young-kuk quickly understood his mistake. " _That_ I didn't hear. Care to elaborate, my dear little brother?" 

Yugyeom rolled his eyes; ask Jinyoung a question and you'll never see anyone run faster than him, but when it's about someone else? Of course Jinyoung is all up in their business. 

"I-I think mom is calling me," answered Young-kuk, packing his things with a speed of a lightning bolt. Two seconds later the boy was gone.

Jinyoung sighed with a great amount of exaggeration. "Why won't he talk to me?"

Yugyeom snorted. "I wonder where he got that," he muttered, taking a picture of himself to send it to BamBam and show him that he's still, somehow, alive. 

Jinyoung, obviously, ignored his words. Nothing new.

**— iv —**

Yun-hee didn't like Jinyoung. And it's not like he was paranoid and made this up, Yugyeom's older sister really seemed to have a problem with Jinyoung and he couldn't for the life of him understand why. If Yugyeom really didn't tell her about their fight... Well, Jinyoung didn't recall doing anything else to piss Yun-hee off. 

The girl absolutely adored Jinyoung's siblings, though, so she was mostly distracted the whole time. She especially seemed to get along with Jinsook and sometimes when Jinyoung looked at them both, he thought that... But it couldn't be true. Surely Jinsook would have told him about something like that, right? Jinyoung liked to think so. 

"You're spacing out," Yugyeom muttered, squeezing his hand lightly and making Jinyoung shook his head to get out of his own thoughts. They were walking through the amusement park a little behind Jinsook, Yun-hee, Young-kuk, Young-ran and Min-jung. Little Lee-yan was happily jumping just in front of them. "What is it?"

"Your sister doesn't like me," Jinyoung tried not to sound like a whiny kid. Judging by Yugyeom's expression, he did not succeed. 

"We've talked about this. She had barely said, like, two words to you," Yugyeom said, shaking his head. He had those cute Mickey Mouse ears on because he had won it for Lee-yan, but the little girl wanted to see how he'd look in it and she liked it so much, she asked him to keep it for now. Jinyoung didn't find it adorable. Not at all. 

"Exactly! You're talking all the time, she's related to you so she should be talking all the time, too," he said quietly, not wanting Yun-hee to hear and hate him even more. Okay, maybe it did sound a little paranoid. "Have I said something wrong today?" 

Yugyeom's expression seemed to soften a little before the boy rolled his eyes and let go of Jinyoung's hand in favor of wrapping an arm around him to pull him closer. "For once you're actually a model boyfriend, Jinyoung. It was starting to become kind of scary, so I'm glad you're back to your stupid self now," Yugyeom chuckled, absentmindedly pressing a quick kiss to the top of Jinyoung's head. It was easy for him, tall fucker. 

"Hey now, don't be rude," Jinyoung muttered, trying his best to not blush. He wasn't a teenager anymore, for heaven's sake. It was really embarrassing to act like that just because Yugyeom was affectionate; it's not like it was anything new for Jinyoung, right? He knew Yugyeom was basically a cat. 

"Jinyoung?"

The voice came from somewhere behind them and it made Jinyoung stop immediately, because even though a few years passed he was still able to recognize it almost immediately. He slowly turned around, making Yugyeom stumble with an arm still around Jinyoung, and he saw a tall boy looking at him with curiosity that turned into a smile when he made sure that it really is Jinyoung.

"Hyun-soo?" Jinyoung asked surprised. It was a stupid question, seeing as Hyun-soo looked almost exactly the same; he was still skinny, his brown hair was perfectly styled, clothes were nice, he had dimples in both cheeks. The only difference was that now Jinyoung was as tall as him. 

"Long time no see. I didn't know you're back in town," Hyun-soo said and then he moved his gaze towards Yugyeom, his smile faltering a little. Jinyoung blinked quickly, realizing that Yugyeom is still holding him and before he could really think about it, he stepped away from the younger boy. Yugyeom looked confused for a moment before he frowned, pursing his lips.

"I'll let you two catch up," he muttered, turning around to walk towards little Lee-yan and probably explain the situation to the rest of the group. 

Jinyoung was looking at them until they started to walk again and then he turned towards Hyun-soo. It was weird to see him again, Jinyoung clearly remembered the feelings he once thought he had for the boy and he also remembered how Hyun-soo treated him back then, but now Jinyoung couldn't really find anger in himself when he looked at Hyun-soo. He mostly felt nostalgic. 

"Who was that?" Hyun-soo asked curiously, walking a little closer to Jinyoung.

"My... my boyfriend, actually. His name's Yugyeom," Jinyoung answered with a slight shrug. It was better to keep up the lie in case Hyun-soo would talk to one of Jinyoung's sister. It was rather unlikely, seeing as Jinyoung's family wasn't exactly fond of Hyun-soo, but Jinyoung wouldn't risk it. Besides, he saw no reason as to why he should tell Hyun-soo anything else. Jinsook did say that Hyun-soo is interested in Jinyoung, but Jinyoung wasn't interested in Hyun-soo. Not anymore. 

Hyun-soo nodded. "He seems nice. So, how are you? I've heard you're studying in Seoul, right?"

Jinyoung looked back; he couldn't see his family anymore. He sighed. Jinyoung didn't want to be rude but he wasn't in the mood to talk to Hyun-soo. One of the worst years in Jinyoung's life happened just because that guy was too closeted to treat Jinyoung better and he's had enough of that shit in his life. He remembered the feeling of helplessness when next people were beating him up just because he was gay. And then he thought about something else. He thought about Yugyeom from back then; he must have found out about Jinyoung's sexuality because it was talk of the decade in their town, but he never made any comments about that to Jinyoung. Maybe because he was figuring out his own sexuality at the time, but maybe because even he knew that it would be a low blow. Whatever the reason, he never made fun of Jinyoung because of that and Jinyoung was sure that if it was Yugyeom in Hyun-soo's place, he would never out Jinyoung to the whole school. 

"Yeah, I've been doing pretty good. I'm sorry, but I think I should go back to my family," he said with a smile. Hyun-soo had enough decency to look as if he knew he deserved this kind of treatment. Good, Jinyoung wouldn't pretend otherwise, he wasn't that soft. Usually. 

"Of course. But do you think we could maybe meet while you're still here?" Hyun-soo asked hopefully, looking at Jinyoung from under his eyelashes. 

This guy really could not get a hint. "Alright, just give me your phone," Jinyoung sighed. He was pretty sure he wouldn't get rid of Hyun-soo without that and it was the only reason he decided to give the boy his number. He quickly typed in the numbers and gave the device back, already walking away. 

Apparently leaving the group alone for a moment was a very bad idea because when Jinyoung finally caught up to them, it was a total mess. For some reason Jinsook was crying and Yun-hee had an arm wrapped around her, Yugyeom was frantically talking to one of the guards at the park, Young-kuk was talking on the phone. And Jinyoung couldn't see Lee-yan anywhere which right now seemed like the most important matter.

"What the hell happened? I was gone for five minutes!" Jinyoung turned to Young-ran, the only person that wasn't occupied with anything besides looking around. 

The girl briefly looked towards Jinsook and then shook her head, sighing. "We lost Lee-yan. She was walking behind us with Yugyeom and then suddenly she was gone," Jinyoung's sister explained, clearly keeping something from Jinyoung. 

Amazing. Could his week in this city get even worse?

"You lost Lee-yan?!" Jinyoung yelled, walking closer to Yugyeom and pushing at his arm to get his attention. Yugyeom was giving the guard Lee-yan's description so they could look for her and then he turned towards Jinyoung, looking down at him with frustration. 

" _I_ didn't lose her! I turned around for a second to see where you are and then Lee-yan was gone," Yugyeom answered, clearly trying his best to stay calm. 

Jinyoung laughed with disbelief. "Are you saying it's my fault?" 

"I didn't say that, stop putting words in my mouth."

"Maybe I should have thought about paying you for watching Lee-yan. Then you'd actually do it—"

Before Jinyoung could stop himself from finishing this dumb sentence, there was a sound of a slap and harsh pain shot through Jinyoung's cheek. Jinyoung was glad for that because he definitely deserved it. There was no excuse for what he had just said and anger wasn't enough to justify it, even if everyone knew that Jinyoung always talked shit when he was mad. Yugyeom probably knew that better than most people.

"Shut up, Jinyoung." It was Yun-hee. Her hand was still raised as if she was ready to slap Jinyoung again if there's a need. Before this night ends, there surely _would_ be such need. "You have no right to speak to my brother like that, you hear me? Do that again and it will be my fist on your face. Instead of being a dick, start looking for your niece," the girl spit out, catching Yugyeom's hand to drag him away from Jinyoung. "We'll go to the shooting stands and see if she's there. She liked the toys, maybe she just went back."

Jinyoung blinked with a hand pressed to his cheek and then he nodded dumbly. "Yugyeom, I'm—"

"Save it for someone who cares," Yun-hee interrupted, pushing her brother forward. 

Jinyoung turned to his siblings then. "Can someone tell me what the fuck just happened here?" he asked, looking mostly towards Jinsook who was wiping her wet cheeks now. 

"I don't want to talk about it," she said, walking away to look for Lee-yan.

Young-kuk shook his head with a sigh. "You're such an idiot, hyung."

Well, Jinyoung couldn't really argue with that. 

**— v —**

Yugyeom seriously shouldn't be that surprised by everything that had happened tonight. 

First of all, he wasn't actually Jinyoung's boyfriend and he needed to get his facts right. Jinyoung pushed him away when they've met Hyun-soo because this was a boy Jinyoung used to like some time ago— _really_ like, not the way he "liked" Yugyeom. So Yugyeom had no right to be upset about it, and he wasn't. That's it. 

Second of all, Jinsook and Yun-hee. Well, alright. That _could_ surprise Yugyeom, but... No, this was kind of unexpected. This whole mess happened just because everyone was too shocked when Jinsook absentmindedly caught Yun-hee's hand to notice when Lee-yan walked away. Really, if they would just have told them about their relationship earlier, nothing would have gone wrong.

"Why didn't you tell me you're dating Jinyoung's sister?" he asked when Yun-hee finally let go of him. He was glad that she did what she did, Yugyeom knew he wouldn't be able to fight Jinyoung back this time. But he still couldn't hide the frustration in his voice and Yun-hee noticed it, looking up at him with disbelief.

"What, like you didn't tell me you're not actually dating Jinyoung?" she fired back, making Yugyeom feel as if he was falling. He abruptly stopped and caught her wrist, preventing her from walking away. 

"How did you—"

Yun-hee snatched her wrist free, turning more towards him and punching him in the chest. "Not from you! BamBam accidentally told me last night when we were texting. I can't believe you were lying to me the whole time. Yes, I didn't tell you about Jinsook, but I never lied about that. I was waiting for the right moment because I actually thought you're dating Jinyoung and I didn't want my relationship to affect yours in any way, but it turns out I was stressing over nothing. What the hell are you even doing, Yugyeom? How is that any different from what you were doing when you were sixteen?" she asked but then even Yun-hee seemed surprised by her outburst. 

Yugyeom took a step back as if she just slapped him, too. "It is different. It's different because I wasn't lying when I said I'm in love with him," he said quietly, frowning. It _was_ different, right? He thought about the money that was hidden in his backpack and about Jinyoung's question from last night; it seemed like the boy really didn't want Yugyeom to feel the way he did when he needed to sell himself and Yugyeom wanted to believe that it really matters for Jinyoung. 

But Yun-hee's words made him wonder. And the thing Jinyoung said just now,  _maybe I should have thought about paying you for watching Lee-yan. Then you'd actually do it._ Did he really think so?

"Did you tell Jinyoung's family?" Yugyeom asked before Yun-hee had the chance to say anything. He was mad at Jinyoung but he wasn't a dick, and he really liked Jinyoung's grandmother. He didn't want to disappoint her and she seemed to really think that Yugyeom is a good boyfriend. 

Yun-hee pursed her lips. "No. I didn't tell Jinsook either. But you don't have to do it, Yugyeom. If it's because of mom..."

"Let's just look for Lee-yan," he cut in. 

He couldn't talk about it. Seokjin was right when he said that Yugyeom shouldn't put himself in situations like that, it wasn't healthy for him. Now he knew. A shame that it was kind of too late to back out. 

  **— vi —**

It seemed that everything ended well; at least for Lee-yan and the rest of the family that got worried. The girl really did go back to the shooting stands because she really liked the big pink teddy bear that was the main prize. Yugyeom had won it for her after making her promise to never wander away like that. Jinyoung was sure that Lee-yan is actually convinced that Yugyeom is the best person in the entire world. 

But for Jinyoung nothing went well. Yugyeom was, of course, pretending that things were okay to not worry Jinyoung's family, but when Jinyoung was watching how Yugyeom puts blankets and pillows on the floor to sleep there, he seriously felt like shit. 

"Come on, Yugyeom. At least let _me_ sleep on the floor and take the bed," Jinyoung said again, moving his gaze after Yugyeom who was making a point of ignoring everything Jinyoung had said in the last two hours. Silent treatment wasn't something usual for them and Jinyoung didn't know what that means. 

Yugyeom flopped down to his newly made bed and turned off the bedside lamp, only for Jinyoung to turn it on again a few seconds later. "What the fuck do you want from me, Jinyoung?" the boy asked with annoyance. It was always something. 

"Talk to me."

"You're not paying me for that, are you?" Yugyeom said bitterly, laughing sarcastically when Jinyoung flinched at the harsh tone. "You can't just say shit like that and then apologize, as if that makes everything okay. You have no right to treat me like that just because I care about you," he added, but then he seemed to realize what he just said because his eyes got wider. Jinyoung opened his mouth to say something but no sound came out. That definitely wasn't what he expected to hear.

"Y-you do?" Jinyoung asked stupidly. He shouldn't feel happy right now, Yugyeom was obviously pissed at him and Jinyoung behaved like an asshole again, but Yugyeom's words made Jinyoung's heart beat a tad bit faster. 

Yugyeom frowned. "Forget about it," he muttered, turning around on the blankets and covering his head with an arm as an end of the conversation. 

"But wait—" Jinyoung started. For once when _he_ wanted to talk, suddenly Yugyeom didn't? Something was seriously wrong here. 

"Drop it, Jinyoung. Just... please," Yugyeom's voice was quiet and additionally muffled by the covers, but Jinyoung heard him just fine and immediately shut up. Because there was something in Yugyeom's tone that told Jinyoung he really shouldn't push right now. 

Maybe it was slow, but it seemed like they were getting somewhere. Jinyoung just hoped that, for once in his life, things were going to end well for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> right now im giving you more filler chapters because this story is almost finished and i dont want to end it yet because i really like writing it. i have another idea for a jingyeom fic that i'll start once i finish TAFDYE but im too attached to this fic to end it so quickly :'(  
> also i know that it might be kind of annoying how oblivious jinyoung and yugyeom are, but its a major part of this story and i kinda like how im writing them so i apologize if it's frustrating for some of you  
> please tell me what you guys think!!  
> feel free to come and yell at me on tumblr: chanqlix.tumblr.com


	11. "how to fail at not getting your hopes up" (ft. Park Jinyoung)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello lovelies!  
> im so SO sorry that it's been so long since the last update but i wasn't having the best time and it took me a while before i could even force myself to start this chapter. sorry once again but i do hope you'll like this update!  
> \+ look at the pretty art of yugyeom i've got from @jojoart5 on twitter!! it's his cherry bomb cafe uniform and it's the cutest thing ever!!!! i still can't believe anyone took their precious time to draw something from my fic, im so so grateful and i absolutely love it! for some reason ao3 wouldn't let me put it in the chapter so here's the link: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn4P_rziVWJ/

**e l e v e n**

**"how to fail at not getting your hopes up"  
(ft. Park Jinyoung)**

**\- i -**

Jinyoung tried very hard but he couldn't fall asleep that night. He kept beating himself up over the stupid things he had said to Yugyeom and how shitty it _actually_ was; Yugyeom trusted him with something as important as his past, a past that was hard to talk about, and Jinyoung just threw it all in his face because he was angry. Yugyeom was right, even if the boy did care about Jinyoung like he said, it didn't give Jinyoung the right to treat him that way and it only made everything worse because Jinyoung really cared about Yugyeom, too. 

It was around two in the morning when Jinyoung noticed that Yugyeom started to mumble something in his sleep and move around in his makeshift bed. When the sounds became louder, Jinyoung turned on the bedside lamp, slid to the floor and crawled closer to Yugyeom, he was sure that the boy wouldn't want to wake Jinyoung's siblings up and have them witness him having a nightmare. That's why he gently put his hand on Yugyeom's arm and started to shake him awake.

"Yugyeom-ah, come on. It's just a dream," he said, forcing Yugyeom to turn around and lie on his back. Yugyeom was struggling against Jinyoung's grip but then his eyes suddenly opened and just then Jinyoung noticed that the boy had been crying in his sleep. "I'm here, you're alright," Jinyoung quickly assured, reaching to wipe the tears from Yugyeom's cheeks.

But then Yugyeom caught his wrist and moved up to sit. For a few seconds the two of them was just looking at each other until Yugyeom dragged Jinyoung closer to wrap his arms around the older boy and bury his face in the crook of Jinyoung's neck. Jinyoung was surprised at first but then he simply hugged Yugyeom back, caressing his soft hair with one hand. 

"God, I'm sorry. I'm just so tired of this," Yugyeom muttered into Jinyoung's skin, sending shivers down Jinyoung's spine when Yugyeom's lips touched his skin. 

Jinyoung pressed Yugyeom tighter against himself. "You don't have to be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong."

"I didn't want to lose Lee-yan," he said suddenly, making Jinyoung's hand stop in Yugyeom's hair as he didn't expect to hear that. "I just kept looking back because I didn't  want to leave you with that guy. I know what he did to you and I really wanted to punch him," Yugyeom explained, making Jinyoung chuckle involuntarily.

"It wasn't your fault, Yugyeom. I overreacted because I was worried about my niece, but still--the thing I've said..." Jinyoung mumbled, putting his nose into Yugyeom's hair; it smelled like apples which meant Yugyeom had used Jinyoung's shampoo. For some reason it made Jinyoung feel weirdly warm inside. "You know I didn't mean that, right?" he asked in a small voice, squeezing his arms around Yugyeom's body.

The younger boy was quiet for a moment and it seemed like he wasn't even breathing. When he spoke, it was barely above a whisper. "You say a lot of things you _don't mean,_ it's hard for me to tell the difference sometimes."

It didn't sound like an accusation, but Jinyoung knew it is and he knew it wasn't wrong. He couldn't express his feelings ever since he was a child, it was always hard for him and that's why he always tried to maneuver his way out of difficult conversations; half-truths, manipulation, white lies--this was Jinyoung's weapon of choice. As he grew up, instead of trying to fix this, he simply learned how to live with this dysfunction because it was easy. Because no one has ever made him want to change himself, to do better; people usually just grew accustomed to his behavior, even his best friends--after all everyone had their quirks, right?

But now... Now maybe Jinyoung started to despise the person he was a little more because it kept hurting someone, someone Jinyoung genuinely cared about. Someone Jinyoung loved. He knew that he won't be able to change in a matter of days, he spent _years_ on becoming who he was now, but it didn't mean he couldn't try, right?

"I'm sorry," he whispered, even though it couldn't change anything.

Yugyeom didn't answer this time, instead he hugged Jinyoung a little more and Jinyoung simply let him. He believed when Yugyeom said he's tired of this; of going forward day by day, of struggling for money, of therapy and long talks about painful things, of having to face the world when all you want is to disappear. He believed him and that's why he spent the rest of the night with Yugyeom in his arms.

Because Jinyoung knew that sometimes it was better to be held than holding on.

**\- ii -**

"But you took this week off, can't someone else do this?"

Jinyoung curiously looked up from the book he's been reading to see his mom trailing behind his father who was clearly getting ready to leave. Mom's voice sounded a little whiny, which happened rarely and meant she was getting annoyed.

"We're releasing a new game in two weeks and they're telling me something's not working properly, there's a problem with the coding on one of the levels and I gave my best technician this week off, too. I need to find someone who will fix this, love," Jinyoung's dad said softly, taking his car keys from the drawer.

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow, closing the book. "Yugyeom-ah can do it," he piped in, getting his parents' attention.

The boy in question got startled, probably at the sound of his name, because he was taking a nap with his head on Jinyoung's lap. It was embarrassing only for the first five minutes because later his sisters gave up on cooing over their heads.

"'M not sleepin'," Yugyeom mumbled, sitting up next to Jinyoung. His curly hair was sticking in every direction so Jinyoung absent-mindedly reached his hand to fix it.

"You know how to code?" Jinyoung's dad asked Yugyeom, looking at the watch on his wrist. He obviously avoided looking at them both and that made Jinyoung's hand stop in Yugyeom's hair, he was so comfortable with the younger boy that he forgot others might not be as cool with it. Yugyeom must have sensed his hesitation because despite his confusion with the conversation he still took Jinyoung's hand in his own one and intertwined their fingers.

"Dad needs help at the company," Jinyoung quickly explained and he didn't miss the way Yugueom's eyes lit up. His interest in this field was obvious and after Jinyoung's fuck up yesterday he wanted to do something for his boyfriend, even if it was as small as getting him out of this house where Ji-eun looked at them as if the best wedding gift would've been their heads on a silver platter.

Yugyeom uncertainly wringed his fingers. "I'm not sure-"

"He can do it," Jinyoung interrupted, reassuringly squeezing Yugyeom's hand. "I mean it," he muttered quieter, because he really did. Yugyeom, in his opinion, was brilliant and more people should start to appreciate it because this boy wasn't only made of good looks.

Jinyoung's dad nodded. "Then come on, but I'm still driving."

"Oh, come on, dad. This was one time," Jinyoung whined, getting up from the couch.

"Don't _dad_ me, this is a new car and I'm not letting you wreck it."

"I barely _scratched_ the last one!"

"Scratched? It wasn't even good enough for parts after what you did-"

"Alright!" Jinyoung's mom yelled, pushing them both out of the room. "Yugyeom-ah is driving and you're both sitting in the back. That's my last word," she added when both Jinyoung and his dad opened their mouths to protest.

"You've heard the boss, hyung. Get in the back," Yugyeom smiled, stretching arms over his head. Jinyoung elbowed him in the ribs, making Yugyeom laugh loudly, but then he did get in the back of the car. Not because his mother said so, just because he wanted to.

Park Video INC was as busy as Jinyoung remembered it from the last time he's been there before the start of his school year. Various people started to run towards Jinyoung's dad the second they've stepped out of the elevator, each of them talking about different things. Jinyoung wasn't really listening, focused on the fact that Yugyeom kept holding onto his hand because he was nervous and Jinyoung helped him calm down; this was something new for him and it made him feel more important than he really was. He wondered how many other things he'll discover about himself because of being in love, it seemed weird that he needed someone else to make him realize he craved validation and wanted to be useful. He wasn't sure whether he liked that yet though.

"Chan, this is Yugyeom. He's my son's b--friend, he's Jinyoung's friend," Jinyoung's dad quickly corrected himself, making Jinyoung frown. He did let go of Yugyeom's hand before walking into his dad's office but it's not like people in the hallway hasn't seen them together so hiding it now seemed useless; that's why it made Jinyoung feel even worse. Up until now he didn't think his father had any problems with his sexuality but it seemed that when it came to the company, nothing was more important.

Seriously, Jinyoung shouldn't let it get to him so much. It's not like it was something new.

"And you think you can help?" Chan asked once his boss explained why Yugyeom was there. Chan didn't sound doubtful though, more like hopeful even though it was obvious how young Yugyeom is and that he can't have much experience. Jinyoung was glad that the man didn't treat Yugyeom like someone worse.

Yugyeom scratched his neck, shrugging lightly. "If you tell me a little bit about the code and what the problem is, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to do something with it," the boy said and the uncertainty he showed on the way was gone from his voice now. It made Jinyoung smile.

Chan looked delighted at that which meant they really were struggling with this problem for a while now. "Of course, anything you need. Come on, our control rooms are on the other side of this floor. Boss, will you be joining us?" the assistant asked a few seconds later when he seemed to remember that there were, in fact, other people in the office besides him and Yugyeom. Jinyoung was never at the company long enough to actually get to know those people even though he would be working with them one day, but Chan looked like this chaotic type of person that always had to have their hands occupied with something. 

Jinyoung kind of liked him already. 

"Actually," Jinyoung stepped in, before he had the chance to chicken out. "I'd like to talk to my father about something. Do you think you can fill Yugyeom-ah in on your own?" 

"Oh, totally, young boss-"

"Please, don't call me that," Jinyoung mumbled when Yugyeom snorted out a laugh.

Chan nodded eagerly. He reminded Jinyoung of a golden retriever. "I, obviously, meant _totally, Jinyoung-ssi_. Should've just let me finish. Let's go, kiddo," he turned towards Yugyeom and then marched out of the office. This guy was ridiculous. 

Yugyeom hesitated, sending Jinyoung a questioning look, but Jinyoung just smiled at him. Yugyeom had nothing to worry about, Jinyoung wouldn't die of stress during this conversation. Probably.

**\- iii -**

"What did you want to talk about?" Jinyoung's father asked after Jinyoung guided them towards the sofa in the corner of the office. He didn't want his dad to sit behind his desk because it would feel too much like a business meeting, and it wasn't about that.

Jinyoung took a deep steadying breath, looking down at his hands instead of the man next to him. Shit, this was hard.

"I know how much you hate all of that, so I'm going to make this very simple and you can answer just the same. Are you ashamed to have a gay son?" he blurted out, closing his eyes almost like he expected to be hit for that. His father had never hit him though, so Jinyoung tried his best to relax. It was just that he hasn't realized before that he really wanted to ask his parents this question; _were_ they ashamed? Were people in the town badmouthing them for this? Were kids at school picking on his siblings because of having a brother like that? 

He never cared what others said about him, not after that hellish first year after people found out, but he should care what people said about his family because of that. It was important, it _should_ be important. The thing is, he knew his siblings supported him--they've _said_ so multiple times. His parents never said that out loud and maybe... he just wanted to hear it. 

"Am I... what now? Jinyoung, where is this coming from? Now out of all times?" the man seemed genuinely confused when Jinyoung dared to look at him and it made him want to back out. 

"You... you corrected yourself. In front of your assistant. You didn't want to tell him that Yugyeom is my boyfriend," Jinyoung explained with furrowed eyebrows, not even noticing how easily this word was slipping from his mouth now. 

His father opened his mouth a few times before he finally could speak again. "This is not--that's not why... Son, you're going to be their boss soon. Would you really want me to let them think you're handing out job positions to people just because they're romantically involved with you?" 

Jinyoung felt offended on Yugyeom's behalf. "I'm not offering him a job here, and I didn't _hand_ him anything because he's romantically involved with me. It's because I know he's capable of doing it, dad."

"I do understand this and I believe you," his father sighed. Jinyoung knew this conversation is just as painful for the both of them and it made him want to laugh at how ridiculous they were. They should be able to talk like normal people, it's not like they were discussing Jinyoung's sex life. "But the people here don't know Yugyeom, all they would focus on would be the word _boyfriend_. Come on, Jinyoung, you've watched Korean dramas, you know how things spread inside companies," the man laughed, shaking his head. 

Jinyoung mulled it over in his head for a while before frowning again. "So... you didn't tell Chan that Yugyeom is my boyfriend because you wanted to protect my reputation, or because you didn't want your people to find Yugyeom incapable and mock him for getting a job through his connections?" the boy asked, confused. Was his father making any sense right now or was Jinyoung just being manipulated into thinking that there was sense in all of this?

"Hm, a little bit of both, I suppose? I do like that boy, Jinyoung," his dad said and Jinyoung felt as if something really heavy was just lifted off of him. He definitely didn't expect to hear that. "It was hard at first because my own parents were always very against people like you, and I guess I was holding their anger in me for quite a while when you first told us."

Jinyoung remembered how his father didn't talk to him for the first three months after finding out. Every day Jinyoung was waiting for his mother to tell him that dad doesn't want to see Jinyoung home anymore, that he doesn't want him to run the company; but the message never came. His father just called him one day to ask about school as if nothing had happened because this was his way of solving problems within family--acting like the bad conversations just didn't take place.

"But your sexuality really doesn't affect me in the slightest, I've realized that the person who's the most affected is you and treating you as if you did something wrong is ridiculous. You know how I hate ridiculous things," the man continued, waving his hand dismissively. As if they were talking about weather, as if Jinyoung hasn't been holding his breath for the last twenty seconds. "I do admit that I was thinking of you being gay in a more theoretical way, though. And now that I finally got to meet your boyfriend... Well, it isn't half as bad. You chose him well, he's good for you."

"How... how do you know that, dad?" Jinyoung forced out, voice wavering a little. His father had told him only good things, it was way more than Jinyoung had expected, so why did it made him want to flee? Why was he feeling so... nauseous? 

His father smiled slightly just then and there was something too soft about it. "You wouldn't look at him the way you do if he wasn't the right person. Trust me, I look at your mother like that and she's _very_ right."

Jinyoung was pretty sure that his jaw would hit the floor any second now because he knew the look his dad was talking about. It was the look he always mocked with Min-jung when they were kids, the one they made gagging sounds at. And was Jinyoung really that obvious? If his father noticed something like this, then it must have been terrible. And if Yugyeom _hasn't_ noticed, then he must be terribly stupid.

But what if he did notice? Noticed and simply was okay with it? 

Before Jinyoung had the chance to get his hopes up too high, the doors to the office burst open to reveal a very annoyed Ji-eun.

"What are you doing here?" Jinyoung asked with raised eyebrows. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your ladies' night tomorrow? Or is it that no real lady wants to spend time with someone who lacks manners as simple as knocking before walking in?" he mocked, standing up with crossed arms. 

Ji-eun looked as if she wanted to spit at him but he wasn't worth even that. Then her eyes moved towards their dad. "Why didn't you tell me there was something wrong at the company? You told Jinyoung and his scum."

"You better watch your fucking language, princess," Jinyoung growled, not interested in taking any of Ji-eun's bullshit. 

Their father got up from the couch, too, placing a hand on Jinyoung's arm. "Same goes to you, Jinyoung. It doesn't matter that the both of you are adults now, I'm still your dad and I _will_ kick your ass if necessary. Ji-eun, you have a wedding this Saturday. This should be the most important matter for you right now, that's why I didn't tell you. Jinyoung and _Yugyeom_ are here to help," he said, putting emphasis on the second name. 

It suddenly hit Jinyoung that his father hasn't said a word about Yugyeom's past during their conversation. He said he liked him, despite knowing from Ji-eun what Yugyeom used to do. His father still liked Yugyeom. No one from his family gave a flying fuck about that, no one judged Yugyeom because of this. No one except for Ji-eun who did so only because she was petty and wanted to hurt Jinyoung with her words. God, suddenly Jinyoung was so happy to be back home and he wouldn't let this witch ruin it for him. Or for Yugyeom, for that matter.

Ji-eun looked taken aback, her face twisting into an angry scowl. "And what can _he_ possibly know about anything that's going on here? Isn't he just an underprivileged student who--"

"Boss! Boss, he did it!" Chan was running through the corridor so fast he almost bumped into Ji-eun's back on his way to the office. Jinyoung could literally hear the squeak of his shoes as he stopped in a halt just behind her, only to jump next to the woman with the biggest grin on his face. Yugyeom slowly trailed behind the assistant but he stopped shortly when his eyes landed on Ji-eun, expression uncertain again. "This is a golden boy and we need to keep him. Come on, offer him my position if you have to," Chan rambled on, looking so eager to resign that despite of being annoyed Jinyoung couldn't help but laugh. 

"Chan, boy, have you taken your pills today?" Jinyoung's father asked suspiciously, crossing arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow. 

Chan wasn't even fazed. "Absolutely not, boss, I'm going _crazy_ but it's off topic. Focus!"

The man sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright, just tell me, is everything fixed?"

Ji-eun looked like she wanted to interrupt them but Chan was faster. Jinyoung liked him even more now.

"Fixed? Oh, no! It's even better now! Yugyeom-ah fixed level thirteen in, like, six minutes? It was ridiculous, I know you hate ridiculous but you would love that!" Chan laughed enthusiastically, grabbing Yugyeom's arm and dragging him closer as if he wanted to show him off like a trophy. Yugyeom looked severely embarrassed. "The level was glitching because we used the wrong extensions while saving it, Yugyeom-ah just switched them with level twenty-three because he said that those ones shouldn't be that far in the game. He checked them all, don't worry."

Jinyoung frowned. "In six minutes?"

"Yes, it's not important now."

"It's not?" Ji-eun asked curiously, immediately catching herself and pretending disdain. Jinyoung knew that even she was impressed now.

Chan sighed frustrated, widely gesturing with Yugyeom's arm that he was still holding. "No! What is important is that Yugyeom-ah switched the difficulties in the game to level them out by exchanging those extensions! I've told him that we all thought about it after finishing with the game because it could be too messed up at times; I mean, you shouldn't find level three so difficult to later slide through level six with no problems, right? But we were afraid that we won't have enough time before the publication date so we would have left it at that if it wasn't for this guy!" the assistant chirped happily. "Boss, he said he would be able to help with the other levels, too!"

If Jinyoung's father knew how proud his son was right now to be Yugyeom's boyfriend he would totally hate him. It was absolutely ridiculous. 

"Tch, you want to change the entire game two weeks before it comes out?" Ji-eun mocked, directing her words at Yugyeom. Jinyoung didn't miss the way Yugyeom flinched and he felt his blood boil again. How long was it since anyone used Yugyeom's past as a weapon against him? Has anyone ever did that before?

"I don't--" the boy started and suddenly Jinyoung felt a slight tug at the bottom of his shirt. He blinked and looked down to see Yugyeom's fingers curled in the material, but his boyfriend hasn't even looked at him. It wasn't intentional, he just reached for something that would give him comfort. 

Oh, damn Kim Yugyeom for making Jinyoung want to melt. 

"My question is," Jinyoung's dad interrupted with a thoughtful expression, eyes stuck at Yugyeom. " _Would you be able_ to change the entire game two weeks before it comes out?" it was firm and simple.

And so was Yugyeom's answer. "Yes."

"This is ridiculous!" Ji-eun yelled exasperated just when Chan started to squeal with excitement. "Dad, the trailers are already out! You can't just change the game because some skank tells you to do so."

Jinyoung took a deep breath, god help him. "Didn't I _just_ tell you to watch your mouth?"

Chan looked personally offended. "I do hope you were talking about me and not the kid, you wench," he gritted out. But then he seemed to remember that he's still talking to his boss's daughter because he looked ready to apologize to not lose a job over this.

Before he could apologize, though, Jinyoung put his hand on Chan's arms. "Holy shit, I love you. If you still want to work here once I'm the boss, I'm giving you one hell of a raise."

"So can I call you the young boss now?" Chan's mood immediately improved, forgetting all about an offended Ji-eun next to him.

Jinyoung frowned. "Let's not go too far."

"I'm so going to get a headache today," Jinyoung's dad muttered. "Ji-eun, I think it's time to leave. Jinyoung, you take your boy out for lunch because I made you both miss it, it's on me. Chan... what are you still doing here? I thought I'm paying you for being on the other side of this floor? Oh, Jinyoung, do ask Yugyeom if he'd like to join us to help with this game."

"But dad--" Ji-eun tried once again only to be cut off by dad leaving the office. She had no choice but to follow.

And when Yugyeom sighed with relief, Jinyoung felt like they had won today.

" _Your_ boy?" Chan asked suddenly, looking between the two of them, a shit-eating grin already forming on his face. "That _does_ make sense."

Yugyeom huffed out a laugh. "What are you--"

"Can I call _you_ the young boss now?" 

Jinyoung threw up his hands in exasperation. "It's important to shut the fuck up sometimes, _Chan_!"

Maybe Jinyoung didn't like him that much after all.

**\- iv -**

"You're not seriously going to offer me a job, are you?" Yugyeom asked, head tilted and eyes curious. They were sitting in a small cafe not too far away from the company, Yugyeom drinking his disgusting caramel latte and Jinyoung munching on his Red Velvet after being teased about it; business as usual.

Jinyoung swallowed and shrugged. "Not if that's not what you want. Though you do want to help with this game," he pointed out casually, looking around the place. There was quite a lot of people inside, probably because the weather suddenly got a lot colder and they wanted to warm up. 

Yugyeom hesitated, eyebrows furrowed as if he was trying to figure something out. "I don't want you to pay me more than you already do. And I don't want to take money from your father," he said slowly and Jinyoung went very still. Jinyoung looked up at Yugyeom who was watching him the whole time; was he _trying_ to start a fight? And should Jinyoung just give it to him to let Yugyeom blow off the steam? It wasn't healthy, was it?

" _I_ wouldn't be paying you anything, Yugyeom. You would be working with my father's people and when you're done, I suppose my dad would pay you just like he pays his other employees for their job," Jinyoung explained calmly, pushing the plate away from him. 

"But this isn't a part of this arrangement, is it?" Yugyeom blurted out and he immediately looked like he regretted saying this. The boy averted his eyes and locked them on something just outside of the cafe, pursing his lips. Jinyoung didn't understand at first because Yugyeom's statement caught him off guard, but after a few moments of silence it finally clicked in his brain, falling into place--Yugyeom's anxiousness since this morning, his annoyance now. 

"How much did you hear?" Jinyoung asked softly. He was surprised that he didn't get mad at the younger boy because usually stuff like eavesdropping would piss him off, but maybe this was just a misunderstanding and if Jinyoung could avoid getting Yugyeom angry with him, it wasn't that bad.

Yugyeom shrugged and then crossed arms over his chest, still not looking at Jinyoung. "I wasn't listening on purpose, I just wanted to grab my phone from our room but then I've heard you talking, so I didn't walk in," he muttered. Jinyoung decided to ignore the way his heart twitched at the word _our_. "I've heard only that this isn't what it was supposed to be, that you didn't plan it like that, that it's not what the arrangement was about. Later... I guess I didn't want to know the rest or who you were talking to. Listen," Yugyeom said, suddenly turning towards Jinyoung with his face completely blank. Jinyoung subconsciously held his breath. "I can just leave. You said so yourself, your family already likes me and we were pretending to be happy together in front of them. You can say that I need to prepare for my exams, that would be easy, right? I didn't want to make anything complicated and I'm truly sorry if I did, that wasn't my purpose. I should've told you everything before we came here, I should've told you about my parents, about what I was doing, about my therapy. And about the fact that it isn't really helping me in any way, I still can't handle difficult situations or take responsibility for how I make others feel, or how I feel for that matter. But I'm _trying_ , alright? I'm trying my best and I'm sorry if it wasn't enough to keep this whole thing from getting so messed up. You're right, this isn't what it was suppose to be; I wasn't supposed to let you so close, or make your siblings like me so much, or help your dad at the company. I'm sorry, Jinyoung, but this is a little too much for me. You can keep your money, I'm really sorry." Yugyeom took a deep breath and quickly got out of his seat, taking the leather jacket from the chair and then moving towards the exit. 

Jinyoung was stunned. Yugyeom has told him so much in such short amount of time that Jinyoung's brain didn't know what to focus on; but what was ringing in Jinyoung's mind the most was _we were pretending to be happy together_. Was Yugyeom really just pretending? Because Jinyoung wasn't. Jaebum had called him this morning to ask how they're doing and Jinyoung guessed that all the stress from the past few days had to finally find a way out, and what was better than telling everything to his best friend? He told Jaebum that he's in love with Yugyeom (Jaebum wasn't as surprised as Jinyoung would like him to be) and that it scares him because he seriously hasn't thought this could happen when he asked Yugyeom for help. He did say that this wasn't what it was supposed to be, but he didn't mean it in a bad way and it seemed that Yugyeom had taken it wrong. 

Jinyoung didn't know anything right now; he didn't know what Yugyeom had meant when he said he can't be responsible for how he feels and he didn't want to get his hopes up even if it did mean that maybe, just maybe, Yugyeom liked Jinyoung, too. But what Jinyoung did know was that he didn't want Yugyeom to leave. He blinked and just when he felt something salty on his lips did he realize he started crying somewhere during Yugyeom's speech. Jinyoung raised a hand to his cheek and touched the wet spot, shocked at his own actions. How important was Yugyeom for him and why couldn't he understand it? What was _wrong_ with him?

He quickly stood up and almost ran out of the cafe, earlier paying for the orders and telling the small girl behind the counter to keep the change. It got even colder outside but Jinyoung barely noticed it as he looked around, spotting a familiar tall figure walking off in the direction of the bus station. For once Jinyoung didn't stop to think about how his actions might be seen because he knew exactly how he wants Yugyeom to see them and, frankly, he didn't give a fuck anymore. He ran after the younger boy and he managed to catch up with him before the next bus came.

Yugyeom gasped surprised, turning around. "Jinyoung? What are you-"

"Don't leave," Jinyoung blurted out, looking up at his boyfriend. He hoped that his eyes weren't red, that it wasn't obvious he cried. Yugyeom opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but had no idea what to say, so Jinyoung took his chance. "If you feel that all of this is bad for your mental health then I won't try to stop you, but if you're leaving just because you think you did something wrong, then don't. It's not your fault that I don't know what I want and that I'm scared, and that I can't express anything without insulting you."

"If this is one of your _I don't mean it_ episodes, I swear to god I'm going to punch you to the moon, Jinyoung," Yugyeom said and his voice broke a little at Jinyoung's name, pulling at Jinyoung's heart in a weird way that made him want to be closer. He took a step forward, moving his hand from Yugyeom's wrist to intertwine their fingers.

"Stay? I mean it," he muttered, standing on his tiptoes to brush Yugyeom's nose with his own one. Yugyeom's free hand came up to rest on Jinyoung's neck, keeping his face close. "I don't think I can go through this shit-show without you, you know?"

Yugyeom laughed and it was such a nice sound, but then he sighed and rested his temple against Jinyoung's. "I don't know if I... it's just..."

"If it gets too much, just tell me, okay? If you don't want to be here as my boyfriend, you can just stay as my friend. I just want to make sure you're fine," Jinyoung said without really thinking this through. Yugyeom looked as surprised as Jinyoung had felt because he actually said that out loud and not just in his head. "I--I mean..."

But then Yugyeom's lips were on his and Jinyoung had no fucking idea what he even wanted to say. Jinyoung curled his fingers in the front of Yugyeom's shirt and closed his eyes, tilting his head just a little bit to deepen the kiss. Even though it was Yugyeom who kissed him, he let Jinyoung set the pace and it was slow because Jinyoung wanted to feel like it meant something, even if only for him. He let go of Yugyeom's hand to put his palm at the back of Yugyeom's neck and bring him down so Jinyoung wouldn't have to stand on his tiptoes anymore. Yugyeom hummed with approval, wrapping an arm around Jinyoung's waist and pressing their bodies flush against each other. Jinyoung's heart was beating so fast it almost hurt in his chest and he wondered if it was loud enough for Yugyeom to hear it, but then the younger boy put his hand exactly above Jinyoung's heart and broke the kiss to look down at him.

"I like how hard it's beating when I'm kissing you," Yugyeom said and it seemed so easy for him to say that out loud. Jinyoung felt jealous, he felt like he was missing something that everyone else had an easy access to. It sounded ridiculous even in his own head.

He swallowed, brushing Yugyeom's hair away from his face. "I like it, too," he mumbled, feeling that his ears were red from embarrassment. "And our bus just left," he added quietly, looking to their left where a blue vehicle just drove off. 

Yugyeom rolled his eyes and stepped back, and Jinyoung actually had to stop himself from whining like a little kid. "I can't believe you ruined our moment because of this," the boy snorted, turning around and walking off without a second glance back.

"But how will we get home now?" Jinyoung pouted, trailing behind his boyfriend.

"You walk, your highness."

"You're so damn mean, Kim Yugyeom."

"I thought I'm your friend?"

"Fuck off."

Jinyoung bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling when he caught up to Yugyeom and the boy caught his hand without even looking at him. It was nice and natural, and Jinyoung was definitely getting his hopes up. 

Damn it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chan is such a random weirdo but i love him :')  
> we're almost at the end and i'm really sad about this, but i'm also excited for the jingyeom story i'm going to start posting once i finish this one. i hope you guys will give it a chance once it's out, and since you've waited so long for this update i'm going to tell you something that maybe will make up for the wait - my next jingyeom fic will include parallel universes and it will have three parts, which means it will be quite longer than TAFDYE!!  
> please let me know what you think about this chapter!  
> i've changed my tumblr url to @eunwoi if anyone wants to come and scream at me


	12. "the arrangement is complete" (ft. Kim Yugyeom)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello lovelies!! sorry that its so so late :((( and that its also not that good. we only have one more chapter left and im really mad at myself because i feel like i didn't do this story justice. im scared that there are still plot holes i wont explain because i forgot and. i don't know, i'm anxious and sorry if i really left something unclosed and if not everything will be explained in the last chapter. i've read through the story again to try memorize everything but im still not sure :((  
> anyways, i hope it's not actually that terrible and i promise that you won't have to wait for the finish for another few months

**t w e l v e**

**"the arrangement is complete"  
(ft. Kim Yugyeom)**

**\- i -**

Yugyeom looked at the bedside clock one more time; 1:21 slowly changing to 1:22 in the morning. 

Whenever he tried to close his eyes, they would open back up again even though he felt as if he had sand under his eyelids. Running out of sleeping pills wasn't something he expected to happen while he was back in his hometown, but lately the insomnia has been bothering him more than in the past few months so maybe he did use them a little too much anyway. One sleepless night was nothing, the thing was that while he was awake, he could notice the things he didn't notice when he was asleep. Like the fact that Jinyoung apparently liked to nuzzle his head in the crook of Yugyeom's neck while he slept, or how he'd mumble a few incoherent words before his breath evened out again. 

When he didn't know that, he could easily ignore the fact that he was getting used to Jinyoung as his boyfriend. He was getting used to ignoring people who flirted with him even when they were much more his type than Jinyoung was, he was getting used to good morning and good night texts on the days they actually weren't spending the nights together, he was getting used to kisses, hand holding, to Jinyoung staring at him whenever Yugyeom was studying, to staring at _Jinyoung_ when the boy was practicing basketball. And it was wrong because getting used to something meant being hurt once it's gone, and Yugyeom had only... Only two days left.

The wedding was tomorrow. And after that Jinyoung wouldn't need him anymore. Yugyeom is going to get his money and go back to Seoul as a single man both in real and fake aspect. Would it even matter to Jinyoung? Sometimes he acted like it would but Yugyeom was so afraid of hoping for more; he's been hurt too many times, he knew he's messed up in more ways than one and there was no reason as to why Jinyoung would want someone like that in his life in the long run. 

Yugyeom sighed and slowly slid his arm from under Jinyoung's head, sitting up. He looked back when Jinyoung groaned, but the boy only turned to the other side of the bed and continued to sleep. Yugyeom quietly walked out of the room, not wanting to wake Jinyoung up, and he closed the doors behind himself. Yugyeom slowly moved in the darkness until he reached the kitchen, turning on the lights. He just wanted to get a glass of water but when he turned on the sink, his eyes got stuck on the water that was falling. Yugyeom gripped the glass in his hand. Something... something hurt inside of him, like he was missing something important and it made his eyes sting. He hated that feeling.

"Yugyeom?"

The glass fell from Yugyeom's hand as he got startled by the sudden voice behind him. It fell and shattered into pieces in the sink, creating a clashing noise that made Yugyeom flinch. He slowly turned around to notice Jinyoung's grandmother on the other side of the kitchen counter that divided the living room from the kitchen. The woman was staring at him with slightly raised eyebrows, as if the noise didn't bother her at all. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she offered, making Yugyeom nod almost automatically. He turned the running water off to slowly start picking the broken pieces up. "Be careful with that-" halmeoni started but just as she was saying it, Yugyeom cursed quietly. It's not that he wasn't careful, he just squeezed the glass a little too hard in his palm and it dig into his skin, tainting it red with blood. "Are you hurt?"

"No, it's... It's nothing, really," he assured the woman, quickly throwing the pieces into the trashcan under the sink. But halmeoni was already walking around the counter and a few seconds later she caught Yugyeom's hand to inspect the cut. 

"Fortunately you don't need stitches. But it's better to take care of it before it gets infected," she smiled up at him, guiding him to sit on one of the chairs by the dining table. "Why aren't you sleeping?" she asked after taking out the first aid kit. 

"I have troubles with that sometimes," Yugyeom admitted truthfully, grimacing when she started to disinfect the wound. "What about you, halmeoni?" 

"Oh, I was just in the bathroom when I noticed you walking down the stairs. I wanted to see if everything's okay," she explained. "Actually, I didn't get a chance to talk to you and my Jinyoung yet about what had happened during the dinner. I wanted to apologize for my granddaughter."

Yugyeom frowned. "Please, don't do that. I don't want any of you to apologize for what Ji-eun noona has said. Not only because she should be the one to do so but because she... well, she didn't actually say anything that wouldn't be true, as I'm sure you already know."

"She still had no right to treat you like that. Don't think that I'm justifying her," halmeoni said, wrapping his palm with a bandage to keep anything from going into the wound. "It's just that she's very similar to Jinyoung in that they both have troubles with expressing themselves. They like to focus their anger on something that didn't actually make them angry instead of dealing with the main problem, you know?" she tried to explain and Yugyeom found himself nodding even though he was just about to say that there's nothing similar between Jinyoung and his bitchy sister. But what halmeoni said made too much sense for Yugyeom to deny it. "Did Jinyoung tell you anything about his hal-abeoji*?" 

"He doesn't really tell me much about himself, I'm just trying to learn by being with him," Yugyeom admitted with a slight smile. 

Halmeoni nodded with understanding. "Well, then let me tell you something I think you should know. When both Ji-eun and Jinyoung were born, their mother was still working. Just when she was pregnant with Jinsook, she decided to stay home and take care of her children. But Ji-eun and Jinyoung spent almost their entire childhood playing at my house, and I adored having them there. But it meant they were also around my husband a lot. Now don't understand me wrong, honey, I truly loved my husband, but when I was young love wasn't so... free."

"It was an arranged marriage?" Yugyeom guessed.

"We learned how to love each other," she said, nodding slowly. "But it was hard, at first. I didn't understand why couldn't he say it? In fact, why could he never say anything about his feelings? Not only positive ones, he never said directly when something upset him, frustrated or stressed him. He just... I know he wanted to, dear lord, I know he tried. But he couldn't, for some reason, express his feelings. We've been married for over fifty years and he had never, even once, told me he loves me. People say that actions speak louder than words but sometimes you just want to hear those things, isn't that right?" she asked and looked at Yugyeom as if she knew. As if she knew that Jinyoung was exactly the same towards Yugyeom. "I'm afraid that Ji-eun and Jinyoung were exposed to this behavior for too long, adding to that my husband was always very strict in raising them. Family spoils them because they're used to it, I'm guilty of that as well, but I understand that for someone who hasn't been with them since their birth, it might come harder."

Yugyeom tried to remember if Jinyoung had ever voiced what he felt. Did he ever tell Yugyeom that he's angry when they fought? Did he ever actually say what he's even angry about? There... there must have been a situation like this, right? They've known each other for so long. But truth be told, Yugyeom couldn't recall it. He didn't know Ji-eun at all, he couldn't speak for her, but what halmeoni said about her husband fit Jinyoung's description as well. And it was... really sad, if Yugyeom thought about it.

"I'm telling you this, sweetheart, because my grandson really treasures you," the woman said quietly, bringing Yugyeom's attention back to her. "I can tell he's really trying, so I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea about him if he can't always tell you everything. He's a good boy and you're important to him," she gently patted Yugyeom's shoulder before standing up. "You should try to get some more sleep now."

"He's important to me, too," Yugyeom forced out just when halmeoni started to walk away. 

She turned her head towards him and smiled. "I know that."

**\- ii -**

Jinyoung woke up without Yugyeom next to him. It was a little after two in the morning, so Jinyoung forced himself to get out of bed and look for his boyfriend, just to make sure the idiot wasn't sleepwalking or something. He found him on the front porch, sitting on top of the stairs and playing with the bandage wrapped around his hand.

"What did you do?" Jinyoung asked, voice groggy with sleep. 

Yugyeom flinched and turned his head with a questioning look, making Jinyoung nod towards his palm as he sat next to the younger boy. "Oh, I just dropped a glass and I was trying to pick up the pieces. Why did you get up?"

"To see if you didn't break your neck on the stairs while sleepwalking," Jinyoung explained, stretching arms over his head and earning a slight shove from Yugyeom. "Do you want to take a walk?" he proposed, seeing that Yugyeom was wide awake and clearly bothered by something, so he wouldn't go back to sleep for sure anyway.

The walk to the beach took about ten minutes, it was something Jinyoung had always loved about living in this house when he was a child. He would always go play with the sand or swim with his sisters, and some of his best childhood memories were associated with this place. Right now the water looked pitch black, there were some lamps by the street that made it possible to see anything, lighting up the sand with orange lights but the light didn't reach the water. It was calm and so, so quiet. The soft breeze moved Jinyoung's hair, it smelled like the ocean. Both boys walked arm in arm along the shore line, letting the waves wet their shoes, they couldn't be bothered to take them off. Jinyoung probably wouldn't have the guts to come here alone at almost three in the morning but with Yugyeom it was totally fine.

"When I was a kid, I used to sneak out of school to come here," Yugyeom said suddenly, eyes stuck to the water.

Jinyoung snorted. "I can totally imagine that."

"I like dancing on the sand. It helps with balance," the younger boy answered, shrugging. Then he took a deep breath, as if preparing for something, and Jinyoung simply waited though the anticipation was already building up inside him. And not the good kind. "My sister knows."

It was all Yugyeom said for now, carefully moving his gaze to Jinyoung, maybe to test his reaction before he said anything else. But Jinyoung's brain stopped for a moment, it took him a while to process this information and what it meant for him. He couldn't make the wrong move right now, he already used up all his fuck up allowances for the month. Screaming at Yugyeom wouldn't help the case now, Jinyoung was very much aware that his plan wasn't foolproof since the beginning. Hasn't he thought of about millions of possibilities how this could go down? Of course someone finding out was always an option.

Instead of _did you tell her_ , Jinyoung settled on something less... fight-inducing. 

"Is that why she looked like she wanted to murder me in the amusement park?" he asked slowly, trying not to let the panic take the better of him. They were already so close to the finish line. If everything was going to go to hell, it should have happened a long time ago. Why now?

"Yeah, probably," Yugyeom admitted, swaying a little at the balls of his feet. "She's... she's not going to tell anyone. I've asked her to not tell anyone but I feel like an asshole because of this. You know that Yun-hee and Jinsook... that they're..."

Jinyoung nodded slightly. "I kind of figured it out, yes."

Though he still had no idea how to feel about that. Not only the fact that Jinsook didn't tell him anything but also the fact that this was Yugyeom's sister. Maybe he was just being a hypocrite though. Probably.

"And it sucks that my sister has to lie to Jinsook noona because of this," Yugyeom explained and Jinyoung could understand that.

The thing was, what could he do about it? The only way would be to tell his whole family that this has been a lie but the more Jinyoung thought about it, the more scared he was. Because at first it was just a stupid idea but now... Jinyoung wasn't sure how his family would be able to trust him later if they found out he's been deceiving them for the whole time, that he's been lying to their faces, that he made them like a boy Jinyoung was supposedly dating only to tell them that this was all made up. How would he be able to look at them after something like that? He should've thought about it earlier, it was useless to know that now. Jinyoung has never hated himself more.

"There's something more."

Jinyoung almost whined out loud. What _else_ went wrong? He looked up at Yugyeom with almost pleading eyes. He didn't want to hear it, he didn't want to hear anything. 

"I've talked to your grandmother and I think it's fair for you to know what she told me," the boy started, despite Jinyoung's internal turmoil. "She told me about your grandfather and what being with him did to you and your older sister. At least what she thinks it did to the both of you. And I-"

"I don't want to talk about it," Jinyoung immediately interrupted, eyes wide. This was his only weapon now. He couldn't protect himself in any other way than cutting the conversation off before it could really start. "Yugyeom..."

"I _know_ ," Yugyeom stated exasperated, putting hands on Jinyoung's shoulders. "I'm not telling you to talk about it! I just wanted you to know what your halmeoni told me because it wouldn't be fair for you to not know. And I wanted to tell you that if you will want to talk... ever, about this or something else, I'm here. Or if it would be better for you to do it with a stranger, doctor Kim would probably find some time for you."

Jinyoung frowned at that, willing his heart to calm down already. "Are you telling me I should go to therapy?"

"I'm telling you it's not always bad to talk to people and sometimes it's easier with a person who doesn't know us but still has a vague idea of how to stir us in the right direction," Yugyeom's hands slowly moved from Jinyoung's shoulders to his neck and finally his thumbs started to caress Jinyoung's cheeks. 

The truth was, Jinyoung thought about therapy before but he wasn't sure if his family wouldn't find the idea ridiculous. He didn't want to be the problem child. He _wasn't_ the problem child, he did well in school and he never caused troubles. The mere idea of changing that scared Jinyoung, but if he would never put himself first, who would?

Right now, though, he focused on the fact that Yugyeom said he's there for Jinyoung. And it meant a lot, it really did. Jinyoung looked back to the taller boy and then he pulled him closer, connecting their lips. Yugyeom shivered but Jinyoung wasn't sure if it's the cold breeze or something else, the younger one was quick to reciprocate Jinyoung's affections. Jinyoung fisted his hands in the material of Yugyeom's shirt, tilting his head to deepen the kiss and make it last longer. Yugyeom's tongue was pushing into Jinyoung's mouth, exploring and making Jinyoung's knees feel weak. 

Yugyeom's cold hands started to travel down from Jinyoung's neck to his chest, he teased Jinyoung's nipples through the thin shirt and that made Jinyoung gasp into the kiss, but then the hands moved even further down, tugging at the waistband of Jinyoung's sweatpants. This finally made Jinyoung snap back into reality as he broke the kiss and held onto Yugyeom's wrists.

"We're on a beach," he said breathlessly.

Yugyeom looked around and shrugged. "There's no one here anyway."

He moved to kiss Jinyoung's neck, a trail of small pecks was created from below his ear down to the shoulder and Jinyoung would lie if he said he didn't enjoy it, even though they were still technically in a public place. Yugyeom tried to free his wrist but Jinyoung held on tightly. 

"What... What do you want to do?" he whispered, making Yugyeom raise his head again. He was waiting for an answer and he dreaded it at the same time, because Yugyeom's face really was like an open book right now and Jinyoung wondered if what he's seeing there is also mirrored on his own one.

"Everything," Yugyeom breathed out. "I want to do everything."

**\- iii -**

It would be really embarrassing for Jinyoung to recall how exactly they ended up in the motel room and he would never, ever talk to anyone about that. He was adamant about the fact that he won't have sex in his childhood bedroom, with his whole family sleeping just next doors. 

_"I can just fuck you here, would that be better?" Yugyeom asked, waving his hand in the general direction of the beach they were at._

_"Wait, who said you will be the one fucking me?" Jinyoung shot back, for a moment forgetting that it wasn't just a theoretical bickering right now. That they were actually planning on doing it. This was overwhelming._

_"I don't mind switching if that's what you want."_

_"You have such a dirty mouth on you."_

_"As if you didn't know."_

Beside this conversation, the list of embarrassing things would include the trip to the shopping mall opened 24/7 because, well, they needed to get some things first, and also renting the motel room - the receptionist knew exactly what they came for but Yugyeom didn't even look fazed. For a split second it made Jinyoung wonder how many times the younger boy have done it before but then he felt extremely guilty for those stupid thoughts; Yugyeom was allowed to have boyfriends and he probably slept with them, too. It's not like Jinyoung was that innocent in that matter.

But this time something was different. Jinyoung was actually nervous, the kind of nervous that would only appear before your first time with someone who actually mattered. So when they finally closed the doors to the room, Jinyoung had no idea where to go from there. Yugyeom must have noticed his hesitation because he put their things down on the bed and walked back to Jinyoung, slowly tugging at his hand.

"Would you like to take a shower first?" the younger boy asked, nodding towards the bathroom doors. 

"With you?" Jinyoung tried to clarify but when a smirk appeared on Yugyeom's mouth, Jinyoung just slapped his chest.

"Yeah, I was thinking about that. But you can go alone if you want?"

Jinyoung shook his head. Jesus Christ, he wasn't a virgin. "No, it's fine. Come on."

Yugyeom chuckled at that but obediently followed Jinyoung into the small motel bathroom with a space big enough for a shower, toilet and a small sink. Jinyoung didn't pay any attention to that, however, because when he turned around, Yugyeom was already taking off his shirt and Jinyoung found himself gaping, even though he had seen this view countless of times already. His hands almost automatically stretched out to touch, to slowly move his fingertips along Yugyeom's v-line and towards his stomach until Yugyeom leaned forward and kissed Jinyoung again, slow and gentle this time. In the small and quiet space the sounds their connected lips were making were almost obscene and Jinyoung could feel himself getting hard just from that alone. Yugyeom tugged at the bottom of Jinyoung's shirt and then broke the kiss for long enough to take it off and throw to the floor next to his own. 

Yugyeom then held Jinyoung's chin with one hand and tilted his head back, opening his mouth to lick into it. Jinyoung heard himself moaning when Yugyeom's kisses became hungrier and faster, as if he was running out of time or was afraid that it's Jinyoung who will run. Well, Jinyoung wasn't going anywhere at least for the next few hours. Their pants soon followed the shirts, socks and last went their boxers. The water pressure wasn't as shitty as Jinyoung expected it to be, the water wasn't hot but it was warm enough and he couldn't care less either way as Yugyeom's hot body was pressing him to the wall.

The thing was... Yugyeom had never let Jinyoung touch him before. He was usually the one to do things for Jinyoung but then he'd say he's fine so now Jinyoung wasn't sure what to do. He tried taking things step by step; his lips moved down Yugyeom's wet neck, hands were slowly exploring Yugyeom's lean body and Jinyoung could feel how the boy shivered under his touch, much more responsive than during the other times they were together. Jinyoung looked back at Yugyeom's face, pushing the wet hair off his forehead.

"Is it okay if I touch you?" he asked softly, searching Yugyeom's face for any signs of something uncomfortable. 

Yugyeom swallowed and then slowly nodded his head, holding Jinyoung's gaze even when Jinyoung moved his free hand down to wrap it around Yugyeom's erection. Yugyeom sucked in a breath and bit on his bottom lip, and that might have been the hottest Jinyoung had seen him which said a lot. Yugyeom's one hand was rested against the wall next to Jinyoung's head and now he curled his fingers into a fist, closing his eyes when Jinyoung started to move his hand.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," Jinyoung spoke up again. But when he stopped, Yugyeom reached his own palm and clasped it over Jinyoung's, making him move again. This made Jinyoung chuckle.

"Oh, shut up and just... Shit, this feels good," Yugyeom muttered. Jinyoung circled his thumb over the tip of Yugyeom's dick one more time, carefully watching the boy's reaction. The fact that Yugyeom liked it made Jinyoung more confident. He moved his hand faster now until Yugyeom started to talk nonsense, and then he crashed their lips together in a messy kiss filled with Yugyeom's moans. Yugyeom sucked on Jinyoung's bottom lip, tangling his hand in Jinyoung's hair to have something to grip on. When he was getting closer, he moved his head to rest it on Jinyoung's shoulder, his heavy breaths were hot on Jinyoung's skin. "You're so good, fuck, you're doing so good."

Jinyoung thought that he might come just from that praise alone. Jesus, did he have a praise kink? He honestly felt like going through his existential crisis in his twenties because of Yugyeom.

Suddenly Yugyeom buckled his hips and lightly bit into Jinyoung’s shoulder, finishing with a soft gasp. "That wasn’t so bad," he muttered, moving a little back to let the water fall between them.

Jinyoung snorted, cleaning himself. "Don’t be a jerk, Yugyeom-ah."

They were still wet when Yugyeom guided Jinyoung to bed and slowly pushed him down. Jinyoung wasn’t as nervous now, he pulled Yugyeom with him and kissed the boy again. Water from Yugyeom’s hair was falling on his forehead but he didn’t mind, keeping a hand on the back of Yugyeom’s neck to make the kiss longer; from everything they did together Jinyoung liked the kisses the most, Yugyeom’s lips were so soft on his own and it felt sincere. Maybe he was fooling himself and making it harder before they had to part ways, but he wouldn’t change anything if only he could keep Yugyeom this close for a little while longer. He was aware of how much time they had left, aware of the fact that next Monday everything would be different. They couldn’t go back to the way it was before, that much was obvious, not after everything. But Jinyoung wasn’t quite sure how to proceed with their new relationship. 

"We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to," Yugyeom said suddenly, looking down at Jinyoung with his brown eyes. 

Honestly, screw him for being so considerate. Jinyoung wanted to at least have this moment before they broke up.

"I do want to. But are you okay with... I mean, I was always on top and..." Jinyoung shrugged. It’s not that he was against switching, it’s just that he never did it and he didn’t want to ruin the night by whining his way through the whole process. As pathetic as it sounds. 

Yugyeom snorted at that, shaking the water from his hair on Jinyoung. "It’s fine, Jinyoung. Just fuck me already, would you?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, making Jinyoung swallow hard. 

Yugyeom moved up on the bed and handed Jinyoung the bottle of lube they’ve bought earlier. Jinyoung noticed that his hands were shaking when he tried to put some on his fingers; Yugyeom noticed it too and tugged at Jinyoung’s arm to move him closer.

"Why are you so nervous? This isn’t your first time," he pointed out with a frown.

Jinyoung swallowed, looking all over Yugyeom’s face. "I don’t know. I don’t want to mess this up, I don’t—"

Yugyeom closed his mouth with a kiss, pulling him down on top of himself. He slowly guided Jinyoung’s hand down and from then it was easier. Jinyoung slid one finger into Yugyeom, making the younger boy whimper quietly. Jinyoung’s heart was beating fast but Yugyeom tried to do everything he could to calm him down which was honestly ridiculous, Jinyoung scolded himself and slowly started to relax as Yugyeom’s body did so too, letting Jinyoung add another finger.

"Tell me if you’re uncomfortable," he said, breaking the kiss and moving back just enough to speak, their lips still brushing with each word.

Yugyeom breathed out, blinking quickly. "I think your dick is bigger than that, Jinyoung," he mocked, making Jinyoung laugh with a raspy voice. "Don’t think too much, I’ve heard at our uni that you’re quite good at that."

Jinyoung grimaced. "Can we not talk about that right now?" he asked, moving his fingers a little bit faster and making Yugyeom clench his hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder. 

"Then just get on with it."

"Already? Are you—"

"Come on, Jinyoung. We don’t have all night, I’m sure," Yugyeom whined, making Jinyoung roll his eyes. Still as bossy as ever.

Jinyoung moved a little back, taking his fingers out. He put on a condom with shaky fingers, breathing through his nose to calm down; he started out slowly, giving Yugyeom time to adjust to his size. Yugyeom rested hands on Jinyoung’s hips, closing his eyes and breathing out. Jinyoung leaned slightly forward, hovering over the younger boy and pressing soft kisses to his shoulder.

"Okay, you can move," Yugyeom hummed quietly and Jinyoung complied, sliding out to push his hips forward a few seconds later. He put his elbow next to Yugyeom’s head to take some of his weight off of the boy but then Yugyeom raised his head to kiss Jinyoung. "Faster," he whispered into Jinyoung’s mouth, tangling his fingers into Jinyoung’s hair to pull him down along so their bodies could be even closer. 

Their kisses became messier as Jinyoung started to move at a faster pace. Jinyoung looked for Yugyeom’s hand to intertwine their fingers. "You’re doing so good," he praised, pushing his head in the crook of Yugyeom’s neck. He didn't want to go too fast, he wanted to save this moment in his memory and he definitely didn't want it to be the way it was with all those boys at the university. This was Yugyeom and it was special, even if only for him. He wanted to remember how their bodies fit together, how their hearts raced to see which can beat faster. All those details... it was important. 

"Come on, come on," Yugyeom muttered, tilting his head back. Jinyoung was sure that Yugyeom’s fingers will leave bruises on his arms from how hard the boy was holding him but he didn’t mind. "Fuck, Jinyoung, I’m—"

"Yeah, it’s fine, you’re perfect," Jinyoung sighed, looking up so he could watch Yugyeom’s face. He was close, too, but Yugyeom looked so pretty right now that Jinyoung didn’t really think about anything else. It felt so good to just make Yugyeom feel like that, to be the one to get him to the edge. Jinyoung changed the pace to a slower one, pushing his hips forward and making Yugyeom moan loudly. It took him a while to figure out what would make Yugyeom feel the best; the boy seemed to prefer the fast moves but the slow ones were what gave Jinyoung the biggest reaction, so he started to switch them, watching the way Yugyeom’s expression changed. He was learning something new about his boyfriend and even though it seemed not likely that he’ll be able to use this knowledge again, it still felt good.

"Kiss me?" Yugyeom asked more than demanded, voice breathless. He opened his eyes to look up at Jinyoung and he seemed so vulnerable just then, Jinyoung doubted someone like Yugyeom let just anyone see him like that and he tried to memorize this before he nodded and gently pressed his lips to Yugyeom’s. Yugyeom was kissing him like tomorrow wouldn't come and they only had this one night, he was holding him so close and Jinyoung loved every second of it. A few moments later Yugyeom tilted his head back again, shutting his eyes closed and Jinyoung moved his lips down Yugyeom's jaw, kissing down to his neck. "Shit, shit. Jinyoung."

Jinyoung rested his forehead against Yugyeom’s. "Say my name again."

"Jinyoung," Yugyeom answered without hesitation.

Jinyoung wasn’t sure who came first, it was kind of a blur for him. He just remembered Yugyeom cleaning them both with a wet towel and taking the covers off of the bed so they could lie down together. He was tired, so tired, but he also couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good. They mixed up their shirts when they were dressing up but neither of them minded, Yugyeom pulled Jinyoung closer in bed, wrapping an arm around him.

"How do you think everything will look after the wedding?" Yugyeom asked some time later when Jinyoung was on the verge of falling asleep.

He was scared of that question because he didn’t have an answer for it. At least not yet.

"I don’t know. I thought about it but... I wish it wasn’t complicated," he whispered, snuggling closer to Yugyeom. His head was rested on his chest and it allowed Jinyoung to hear the steady beating of Yugyeom’s heart. 

"It’s fine, we can just figure it out later," Yugyeom muttered into the top of his head. "You should get some sleep now, I’ll wake you up once we have to leave," Yugyeom assured, making Jinyoung nod lazily.

"Mm, thank you, love."

Jinyoung was fast asleep even before the next minute passed. 

**\- iv -**

Hyun-soo was on the wedding. The first time Jinyoung saw him, he was confused as to why he would even be there but once he understood, the only feeling that was left was anger. So his sister had a problem with Jinyoung having a boyfriend but she didn’t have anything against inviting _another_ boy who broke Jinyoung’s heart? Ji-eun perfectly knew what Hyun-soo did to Jinyoung.

"I hate her so much," Jinyoung muttered, downing another glass of champagne. 

Yugyeom whistled lowly, catching Jinyoung’s hand before he could ask waiter for more alcohol. "You might want to slow down, it’s only nine and I’m sure some of your three hundred aunts will want to dance with you soon," he noticed, looking around at the room full of people. 

Jinyoung, on the other hand, looked at Yugyeom. He looked stunning in a black suit, especially because Young-kuk was bored this morning and decided to dye Yugyeom’s hair light blonde which made him look like a fucking prince or something. Jinyoung hated everything about it. 

"He’s staring at you," Yugyeom snorted with annoyance, making Jinyoung blink with surprise and look in the same direction. Hyun-soo was sitting with some of groom’s friends a few tables away and he really was staring, though he quickly turned his head when Jinyoung looked.

"Are you jealous?" Jinyoung finally snatched another glass of champagne, smirking at Yugyeom.

"Yeah, kinda. Are you gonna kiss me so he can see?"

"Mm, I think I can do that," Jinyoung giggled, leaning over the table to press his lips to Yugyeom’s. Okay, so maybe he was a little bit tipsy already.

It was maybe about an hour later when Hyun-soo finally approached Jinyoung. Jinyoung has already danced with most of his relatives and now he was waiting for Yugyeom to finish dancing with aunt Euni.

"Jinyoung, can we talk outside? It will take just a moment," Hyun-soo assured, raising his hands when Jinyoung shot him an annoyed glare. He looked towards the dancefloor and sighed, it would probably take a while for Yugyeom to finish anyway. Jinyoung stumbled out of his seat, trying his best to appear sober. 

Well, Jinyoung wasn’t really known from his smart decisions while being drunk.

**\- v -**

Yugyeom couldn’t find Jinyoung. He didn’t really want to leave him alone, seeing how much champagne the older one had already drunk, but he couldn’t refuse a dance because he didn’t want to seem rude. Finally one of Jinyoung’s cousins told him that Jinyoung walked out with someone so Yugyeom decided to check it, just to make sure Jinyoung is safe.

He was about to round the corner when he’s heard Jinyoung’s voice. Yugyeom hated eavesdropping but when his name was brought up, he couldn’t really stop himself. He leaned against the wall and frowned, recognizing the other voice as the weird guy that bothered Jinyoung in the amusement park.

"I was curious about him so I asked around and... Jinyoung, people don’t really have a good opinion on your boyfriend," Hyun-soo said, making Yugyeom snort quietly. So that’s what it was about, he was still hoping that Jinyoung will date him? Well, he chose the easiest way.

"He’s not really... It’s not really serious, me and Yugyeom," Jinyoung answered, clearly drunk. Yugyeom knew that he should have stopped Jinyoung now, he probably didn’t want to tell Hyun-soo that it was all fake but something didn’t let Yugyeom move. His heart started to beat faster. "I mean, sometimes I think I want it to be? But I don’t think he’s..."

"Right for you?" Hyun-soo asked. Jinyoung didn’t answer but he must have given some kind of reaction because Hyun-soo laughed. "He’s really not, Jinyoung. You’re going to be a CEO soon, you shouldn’t let someone like Yugyeom bring you down and people will talk about it. What do you think will happen to your family if people know you’re dating someone who used to have sex for money?"

Yugyeom had to give it to Hyun-soo that the guy was cunning. He was trying to use the thing Jinyoung valued more than anything; his family. Yugyeom slowly started to feel like shit and not only because Jinyoung didn’t try to defend him, Yugyeom didn’t expect him to do so anyway, but because Yugyeom thought about the same thing Hyun-soo talked about. He was a nobody and he would trash Jinyoung’s reputation even before he could earn it himself. It’s not that Yugyeom thought Jinyoung would actually consider a serious relationship with him but after they’ve spent the night together... and really, everything that happened between them earlier, Yugyeom had a tiny bit of hope that things could turn out good, that for once in his life something could be the way Yugyeom wanted it to. But he shouldn’t have done that, doctor Kim told him that it’s not healthy to create safe spaces everywhere he went; creating one in someone else was probably even worse. Because that’s what Jinyoung was now, he was a safe space, someone Yugyeom felt comfortable with when he couldn’t sleep or was panicking over nothing, someone who could calm him down and make him feel like someone who’s worth more than in reality. Yugyeom even let Jinyoung touch him. This was... this was so fucking big for Yugyeom.

It wasn’t Jinyoung’s fault and Yugyeom had to deal with the consequences of creating this illusion himself. Reality was hard to face sometimes but god knew that Yugyeom had been through worse things in his life. Losing one more person... well, who would count it by now, right?

"And what if you’d want to get married one day?" Hyun-soo asked suddenly, waking Yugyeom up. He knew he must have missed some of the conversation but how did it suddenly end up on this topic?

"I don’t want to marry him," Jinyoung answered almost immediately. "I told you it isn’t serious. Yugyeom is not someone you marry."

Something was off. Yugyeom could tell that something about Jinyoung was off right now but his mind was racing too fast for him to figure it out. He couldn’t breathe. He knew, he knew all of it but hearing it out loud from Jinyoung was different. It was like being punched, it was like hearing every insult at once, it was like all the goodbyes Yugyeom couldn’t handle. And he put himself through this out of his own will. He did this to himself, no one else. People had warned him, he even fought with his sister over this. 

He chose Jinyoung and the worst thing was that he didn’t even regret it because he knew that if he had a chance to go back and do it all again, he wouldn't change a single thing.

"Hyung, are you okay?"

Yugyeom blinked and looked to his left, Young-kuk was standing a few steps away with worry clear on his face. Yugyeom quickly tried to put himself together, he had to lie about that so many times before that by now it didn’t take him more than a second to school his expression into something neutral, maybe even cheerful. 

"Yeah, of course. What are you doing here?"

Young-kuk frowned, carefully studying Yugyeom. "I just wanted to see if you found my brother."

"Oh, about that—"

"Yugyeom?" a voice Yugyeom certainly did not want to hear now. He flinched and turned around to see Jinyoung and Hyun-soo, the former’s expression surprised, the latter’s mocking. Jinyoung was probably trying to figure out how much Yugyeom has heard.

"Well, your brother is here," Yugyeom informed Young-kuk with a ghost of a smile, trying to appear as detached as he could. He wouldn’t let that get to him. "My sister called so I need to leave now. Can you please apologize to the others for my absence? That is, if anyone will notice," he corrected himself.

 _Or if anyone will notice and won’t be relieved that the slut is gone,_ he thought and it almost wanted to make him laugh. God, what exactly did he expect by coming here? That he will just get his money and everything will be fine? Pathetic.

"Yes, of course, hyung. Are you sure you’re okay?" Young-kuk asked quietly, chancing a glance at Jinyoung and Hyun-soo in the back.

Yugyeom nodded, ruffling the boy’s hair. Then he turned around and started to walk towards the entrance without sparing anyone else a glance. He survived the wedding, more or less, so his job here was done. He was already thinking about apologizing to his older sister, she deserved it, when someone caught his hand and stopped him.

"Yugyeom, can we talk?" Jinyoung asked, voice soft and quiet, sounding almost sober. 

"I think you’ve said enough today," Yugyeom freed his wrist. He was ready to leave but then Hyun-soo just had to open his mouth.

"Yeah, it’s better if he leaves. Come on, Jinyoung, you should return to your family," he said with a smirk. Jinyoung was turned towards Yugyeom so he couldn’t see Hyun-soo’s expression but Young-kuk could and Yugyeom hasn’t seen him so annoyed yet since he met the young boy. 

"Why is it better if he leaves?" Young-kuk furrowed his eyebrows, catching Jinyoung’s attention. "Hyung, do you want Yugyeom to leave, too?"

"No, I—" 

"It’s alright, I need to go anyway. Young-kuk, please take care of your brother, okay? Don’t let him get even more manipulated," Yugyeom said, looking at Hyun-soo. Yugyeom was a lot of things but he would never use Jinyoung’s family against him the way Hyun-soo did, it was a shame Jinyoung was in no state to see how Hyun-soo played with him. 

But Yugyeom has heard enough tonight and he was done here. Jinyoung was an adult who could make decisions for himself and if he decided that Hyun-soo was better... Well, alright. 

The wedding was over and so was the arrangement. It was the way it’s supposed to be. 

Yugyeom left and this time no one tried to stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hal-abeoji - grandfather
> 
> please let me know what you think!!


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